Location: From Northern CA/Currently in Southwest GA.
Depressed and crawling back.
I've done this before. After giving up this battle against my body, I've tried three times now to come back to 3FC. To the one place that really helped me lose 40 pounds so easily I can hardly grasp the concept now. I've even tried making a new account so I wouldn't be so ashamed of myself for gaining so much back after getting down to the 220s, but hiding the massive weight gain from the internet didn't hide it from myself.
So, here I am. Again. Worse off than I've ever been before. Almost 20 lbs higher than my previous highest weight. I saw 280 on the scale today, and I just feel like dying right now. Not in a real way. Just in a "please, just let me lay in bed for 5 days straight so I can pretend I don't exist" kind of way. I know this is extremely melodramatic on an intellectual level....but, on an emotional level, I am so far gone. I don't even know where to start anymore. I know quite a few of us have been in this mind space before, so I don't feel as crazy as I probably should for admitting it.
Anyways, this is me coming back. Not just because I want to anymore...because I need to. I've always been a bigger girl, but I don't even recognize my body anymore, and I feel like I am literally killing myself at this point. I can't keep giving up after my first major set back, or let life get in the way again. Someone please kick me in the face next time I try to leave? Ha.
Sorry for the downer thread, I'm just in a really bad place right now. What have I done to myself?
I lost all of my progress and gained the weight back (and then some!) in pregnancy...but, I am back! I need this now more than ever.
One for every 5 lbs lost, so far:
Last edited by opheliaphoenix : 02-17-2013 at 03:04 AM.
I am so glad you've posted and have come back to 3fc. We have ALL gone through this. If losing weight and keeping it off for a lifetime was easy... we wouldn't need 3fc. Folks here aren't going to judge you in a negative way. Please, you must forgive yourself. I know it's not easy - but, please try.
So now you want to try again. You've done it before. You CAN do it again. Plan, plan and plan some more.
So glad you took the step to post again.
Move ticker, move!
Next Mini Goal - 214
"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." - Margaret Thatcher
I can't lose 100 pounds....but, just maybe I can lose five pounds twenty times.
Hey, welcome back It's completely normal not to nail it first time, and it's a great decision you've made coming back!
I can't begin to tell you the number of diets I went on, losing weight and gaining it all back, plus more... Just try to be gentle with yourself right now and think about what DIDN'T work before. Be honest! If you want something sustainable, you've got to not hate it (I'm sure you know this, I just didn't think it was important before... used to believe I could shoehorn myself into any old diet and it'd work - so not true!).
And, you may want to crawl into a hole and hide right now, but you don't have to do that here! We've been there before. So, love your body! (I swear this isn't as cheesy as it sounds... ). Your body is a remarkable thing! It will still respond to you putting different food in it, and doing different exercise! Why not try a week or two on some different plans to decide which one's for you - permanently? And if you're starting to not like one, just swap?
Either way, *hugs* and welcome back
1. Take the iPod for a walk and ponder the nature of the universe.
Ophelia, I don't know if I can add much to what has already been said. I have been where you are...many times. All I can say is that this time when I committed to losing weight, I started with a program but slowly modified it to fit my lifestyle, my needs; it has totally changed into a different program! So far, I am succeeding. You must find what works for you and your needs.
You came back here for a reason...support. We are all behind you and are sending positive energy your way.
You are going to succeed this time!!!! Even if you slip, use it as a learning experience and never, ever, ever give up!!!
If you believe it, you will achieve it!!
Last edited by sluggerbean : 02-17-2013 at 11:59 AM.
Life is so challenging sometimes (Read: sucks horribly, unfair and understandable). Other then bummed about your weight...How are you feeling? I know this is going to make me sound like a stalker (but 3FC makes it easy to look up old posts), but I hope it comes across more kind and caring then creepy...How was 2012? Do you think you were able to work through some of the grief of your dad passing? I think think that would throw a wrench into anyone's plans.
Is part of the reason you feel 2013 will be different is because your dad would want to see you healthy and strong?
I'm sorry if I've brought up some painful emotions, but I think it's hard to move forward when emotions aren't examined.
I hope we see you around a lot this year! If there is one thing I can do for myself- it's to check in here. Even if I feel like I'm off track and spiraling out of control...I can at least check in here. And I know these ladies will do everything they can to keep me from slipping all the way down the hill, you know?
__________________ "Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language." ~Henry James
I am so glad you are back and please know that you are not alone. I am also recently back after a long absence and know that yes, not telling the internet I was gaining back all I had lost didn't mean it wasn't happening.
I know the regret and guilt and frustration. But you won't get there unless you try, and you are back, trying. And that's a lot.
__________________ Restart 1/6/13 - GOAL (for now) back to prior low