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Old 01-23-2013, 10:28 AM   #1
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...weird to eat healthy in our society?

I really want to make my weight loss a secret till it's noticeable and for other reasons. The last time I went public, I had a co-worker look through my journal and then chide me every time I ate/journaled. Also I'm afraid of failing because I know they are watching the publicly trying-to-lose-weight co-worker. I don't want them watching me. I journal privately now. I use my cell phone app or journal on the computer before I go to work pre-planning all my food. I don't even think my husband knows that I'm tracking!

The other day I was eating some veggie chips. I actually do like them. A co-worker asked me what I was eating. I told her. She scoffed, "Oh are you on a diet, too?" I told her, "Nope, I just like them." It got me thinking: it's normal to stuff our faces with whatever but veggies? Nope. That's crazy! Especially when I pull out the "weird things" like hummus and carrots (yum!). It's not like I'm forcing myself to eat these veggies. I love carrots and bell peppers! It seems only acceptable to eat veggies unless you are on a diet or they are deep fried. No wonder our food-culture is so messed up!


I've told a very few people about my weight loss re-journey (my mom, good friend, and my friend that cuts my hair). I guess my husband knows but he doesn't care at all nor helps. He criticizes me when I request brown rice. I realized the other day that I believe I am so much more likely to succeed. I have a healthy fitness hobby and my amazing mom (who is helping me buy healthy food). I rejoined Weight Watchers last week which means I actually have a plan this time. Most of my goals are fitness related: I want to learn to bellydance and take an aerial class at one of the flow festivals I go to in the next year or two. I understand how my body loses weight better than last time I was serious. I understand that it will get harder but I can do this! I'm excited for the next year!
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:41 AM   #2
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Oh wow, I know what you mean! Sitting at a lunch table with people who don't share your healthy eating style can be horrible! They judge your carrots, yogurt and hemp hearts!

Thankfully, I got lucky this time. My best friends, the people I eat lunch with everyday ALL decided that they all needed to drop a few lbs. So now its the opposite of before. They all judge if you get the special instead of a salad. Or don't bring a perfectly portioned, super nutritional lunch!

I thought keeping it a secret was the best way to go about it, but I think the support is so much better. We bring extra fruit and veggies to share with each other, if we go out for lunch, we go somewhere healthy. Unfortunately, none of my friends are going to be on this journey nearly as long as me, but I think the fact that we all started together will mean that I will be able to continue and still feel supported even when they have reached their goals and stop being so strict.

Maybe there is a few co-workers you can team up with? Maybe some of them are in the same boat as you!

Good luck and keep it up!
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:56 AM   #3
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i think a lot of it depends on who you hang around. Most of the people I am around are healthy eaters. Same with my husband's colleagues. When we have potlucks, people bring things like quinoa salads, fruit salads, hummus and veggies. And most of the people around us are not very overweight or overweight at all. I stuck out like a sore thumb!

But when I go to some other places, I see how the masses eat and wow... no wonder we are fat as a nation!
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:03 AM   #4
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Quote:
Maybe there is a few co-workers you can team up with? Maybe some of them are in the same boat as you!
A few months ago, I offered to do a weight loss support thing with the co-worker that is currently being very public about her weight loss. It never panned out. She's very much a yo-yo dieter that doesn't seem to know anything about weight loss (she wants to lose 15 pounds in one month). And honestly I wouldn't trust 90% of my co-workers with things as frustrating/upsetiting as weight loss.
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:13 AM   #5
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Sorry this post is so long, this is an issue that really hits home with me!
+++++++

It is an awful reality, especially when the signs of weight loss begin to show. I feel like I am bleeding and surrounded by sharks, perhaps a bit melodramatic but that's how I feel. There are a few supportive people out there, and thankfully my husband is the most supportive, but most people unfortunately are not.

There are several people who almost act like they want you to fail. Then there are others who tell you that you are doing it all wrong. If I have one more person tell me to drop carbs (veggies and whole grains) and eat more cheese and bacon, or give up gluten even though I have no allergies, I might just go crazy. Every fad diet/pill/torture device in the world has been spelled out to me in great detail as the only thing that works (by people who it apparently hasn't worked for). When I say I am just focusing on healthy eating, portion control and good old fashioned exercise, people look at me like I just grew a second head.

Then there are others who absolutely insist that you don't need to lose weight, that you look perfectly fine (when did obesity become the new normal?). There are people who accuse you of starving yourself, over exercising (60 min 3-5x a week is too much, really?). Some even claim that you are starting to look sickly.

I did let these people get into my head the last time I lost weight. It really sabotaged my attempts at maintaining. It wasn't the only thing that contributed to my regain, but it played a part.

The thing is my husband and my doctor supported me 100%. My doctor okay'd everything I was doing and monitored me closely. My husband lived with me and knew I ate a healthy balanced diet and certainly did not starve myself. These are the only people I should have listened to. This time I am going to tune out all naysayers.

This is also one of the reasons I joined this forum, it really helps to have like minded people to talk to during the weight loss and after. People who support rather than criticize. Collective and frank discussions about all things involving weight loss without censure or judgement. People who don't tell obese people they are just fine the way they are, but rather encourage and help support them in making healthier life choices.

*****

On another note, I want to learn belly dancing too! I even bought one of those cute belly dancing coin skirts from Amazon (only $7.23 w/free prime shipping!). I am starting with just a regular dance fitness program though, I am hoping to strengthen my core a bit before moving on to belly dancing. Let me know if you find a good program to use!
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:15 AM   #6
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I think a lot comes down to location. I live in Colorado, which has the lowest obesity rates in the US. Now, that doesn't mean everyone eats healthy all the time, and there are certainly people carrying some extra weight. But generally speaking, the majority of people I come into contact with tend to be fairly fit, active and slim to average weight. That's not to say they don't enjoy their treats and indulgences, but they fit them into an overall healthy diet and no one finds it odd to snack on fruit and veggies.

That's not to say there aren't treats around too - I've been casual about it at work, and when someone offers a goody, I just smile and say that I'm "sugar-free" right now. That makes it more of healthy eating thing than a weight loss thing, I think, so at least so far, it hasn't lead into any additional questions although I would guess that eventually, when the loss becomes noticeable, it might.
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:18 AM   #7
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For me it was always hard to find the support that I need at work. For one thing, it's a somewhat competitive environment to begin with unless you are fortunate enough to work at a company that really encourages team work. Plus, I am very competitive myself. I never told anyone--even my family--that I was dieting because when I failed (duh! assuming at the beginning that I would fail might have been part of the problem ) I didn't want them to realize that I'd failed again.

But it sounds as though you're developing a support group which is wonderful. And, yes, I agree that what we eat as a nation, our portion sizes, advertising, have allowed us to develop serious health issues. And I've noticed that people who are the correct weight never think twice about eating correctly. Nor do they ever get anyone asking if they're on a diet. It's another one of the prejudices against people who need to lose some weight. If we eat healthy foods, someone will undoubtedly ask if we're dieting. Yet, they would never think to ask someone who is at their ideal weight the same thing. When it happens now, I just answer with a question such as why would you ask that.
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:29 AM   #8
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Devoncroix-If I quoted, I'd copy your entire post! I was going to describe my co-workers as snakes in a pit! I was teaching a hoop making workshop. I always say, "you can lose weight hooping with a good diet." Then, they ask me about my personal eating habits. I explain that I"m not watching what I eat right now. Then I get suggested the Simple Diet or Sensa or whatever. It is annoying! When I was last on weight watchers, someone told me that I must never eat!

When I was at my smallest weight my current husband in a backwards fashion was trying to say that he saw past the flaws that I had and fell in love with me. But he said, "when I saw the saggy skin on your stomach I about vomited." I LOVED my saggy skin. It proved that it was working! After that I remember giving up because I know I'll have tons of loose skin if I got any smaller. My husband is not supportive of this weight loss. But if I got diabetes tomorrow, he would. It sickens me. I'm preventing diabetes!

Quote:
On another note, I want to learn belly dancing too! I even bought one of those cute belly dancing coin skirts from Amazon (only $7.23 w/free prime shipping!). I am starting with just a regular dance fitness program though, I am hoping to strengthen my core a bit before moving on to belly dancing. Let me know if you find a good program to use!
I got a coin belt at a ren faire. I go to a lot of movement festivals that have bellydance classes and there are local classes here. So I think I will reward myself with a class every month for being on plan/track/being awesome. I am hoping to get a few dvds with good amazon reviews soon. My friends also posted some good youtube video links. I can combine bellydance with poi or fire fans and I can be awesome!
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:41 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Daimere View Post
A few months ago, I offered to do a weight loss support thing with the co-worker that is currently being very public about her weight loss. It never panned out. She's very much a yo-yo dieter that doesn't seem to know anything about weight loss (she wants to lose 15 pounds in one month). And honestly I wouldn't trust 90% of my co-workers with things as frustrating/upsetiting as weight loss.
Damn that sucks! Could you maybe take your lunch at a different time? Eat at your desk instead maybe? I know that sounds lame, but it might be better than being bugged by all the negative Nancy's out there! You shouldn't have to feel awkward about trying to eat better.

Don't let them get you down!
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:52 AM   #10
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The really crappy part is that the more weight you lose the more people will comment on your food! People get to a point where they think you should be "done". Like once you're no longer overweight you should go back to eating crap food in large quantities and "relax" a bit. I've found a very harsh reality of losing weight and getting healthier is that it really bothers a lot of people.
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:00 PM   #11
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The really crappy part is that the more weight you lose the more people will comment on your food! People get to a point where they think you should be "done". Like once you're no longer overweight you should go back to eating crap food in large quantities and "relax" a bit. I've found a very harsh reality of losing weight and getting healthier is that it really bothers a lot of people.
I'm always a bit taken back by how people can behave. Like someone saying, "Oh, you shouldn't have that!" When they know I am watching my food intake. or, "Oh, you've lost enough weight, you can have that."

it is really true that most people don't understand how we got fat in the first place.

My mother in law's solution to getting fat is to just not eat sometimes. She'll skip meals, etc. It helps that she doesn't have any real hunger pangs. She eats because she knows she needs to. It's actually one of the reasons we decided she NEEDED to live with us was that she wouldn't understand why she was so weak - well, duh, she hadn't eaten in two days!

So, she totally doesn't get my way of eating. She says, "I eat whatever I want. I just stop eating or don't eat." Well.. nope... doesn't work for me that way.
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:08 PM   #12
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I am the same at work. I only work 3 days a week thank goodness for that because I feel like people are watching me. I work at a grocery store and I rarely buy my lunch there because if they know I'm dieting they are watching. I hate it. I wish we would be the kind of work place that had getting healthy challenges and stuff, but my whole store is all about the quick fix not eating healthy and excersise. Blah.. Anywho I know what your going through and I have not told anyone at work either. I journal on my phone and make my lunches to go to work so they don't bother me.
Good luck to you. Don't let anyone get you down!!
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:10 PM   #13
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Daimere ~
Movement festivals sound like fun! I live in an area where that type of thing never happens.

I am sorry to hear about your husband not being supportive. I can see how that could make trying to lose weight and eat healthy much more difficult. You say he would be more supportive if you had a health related reason to lose weight, maybe get him some books to read on diabetes prevention? Has he ever watched Super Size Me? Watching that documentary helped my husband be one hundred percent on board with us as a family switching to a healthy lifestyle. My husband is one of those naturally thin people, but watching that movie opened his eyes to all of the problems with unhealthy eating. We stopped eating fast food and at unhealthy chain restaurants, tossed the junk food, and gradually made the switch to whole foods. This has been a gigantic help for me since the hardest part is already done. The documentary is a great one for guys to watch because it has plenty of guy humor and an interesting premise.

Also let him know it can take 3 years of maintaining for skin to tighten up, maybe that would encourage him to support you when you get to the point of maintaining!

Hopefully he will come around soon, guys can often surprise us.
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:26 PM   #14
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I really dislike working around people like that, who make comments about what your eating, etc. when your dieting. It's a lil discouraging, but WAY annoying. Ive had people roll their eyes when they see me eating my healthy snacks, like apples, oranges, NF yogurt, etc. All basic and common foods, but even when i wasn't dieting, people would assume I was because I was eating something healthy...terrible.

But I also had it work the other way against me too...there was a lady that worked with me long time ago, who me and her were following the same diet plan/system, and everytime she'd see me cheating, she would make it known to the whole office, by talking really loud or yelling something across the room to me. We even went on a business lunch with my unit, and she yelled to me across the table how many points the lunch i ordered was ... i mean, i guess thats not such a bad thing (her trying to be supportive) but i didnt need the whole office to know I was dieting, let alone the whole resteraunt.

Anyway, hang in there .. and now i track my stuff on my cell phone too, because no one questions what im doing, maybe cuz everyone is on their cells 24/7 these days
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Old 01-23-2013, 12:31 PM   #15
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I'm always a bit taken back by how people can behave. Like someone saying, "Oh, you shouldn't have that!" When they know I am watching my food intake.
This is my mother, she has some serious food issues. It changes from year to year and month to month (and even recycles a few), but once it was having to starve myself, then it was cutting all dairy products, then it was raw food only, then it was vegan, then it was vegetarianism, currently it is "gluten free is the only way to lose weight". Unfortunately she herself is overweight, has had severe skin issues, kidney issues, gallbladder issues etc...

I worry about what she is doing to herself seesawing major dietary changes every couple of months (without even consulting a doctor or nutritionalist first), but she is not the type of person you argue with, it causes more problems than it solves. I usually just smile and nod or politely decline her suggestions. The ironic this is, no matter which fad she is currently promoting she still keeps junk food in the house and eats out (including fast food) several times a week.


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or, "Oh, you've lost enough weight, you can have that."
This is my m-i-l. Sometimes I think she makes it her job to keep me fat. Last time I lost weight she tried to convince my husband I had cancer or some other life threatening illness. She makes snide comments all of the time. She makes remarks when I don't eat the tons of junk food she sets out when we visit or that she brings when she visits us. She is always trying to set unhealthy food in front of me or talk me into eating stuff that I have absolutely 0 desire to eat. It is so frustrating.
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