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Not Proud of Myself Anymore

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Old 01-21-2013, 11:18 AM   #1
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Unhappy Not Proud of Myself Anymore

And I just made a post crowing about my mini goal of 118lbs.

Today and was cruising through a set of progress pics on her (as I like to do from time to time), and a lot of them were people posing in pants they wore at their heaviest. Well, just for fun, I decided to do that to, thinking about how I've gone from a 34 to a twenty and how it'd probably hang off me.

Oh how wrong I was.

While the pants covered my feet completely, they didn't hang. Sure, the front did, but there wouldn't be any wardrobe dysfunction if I walked around in them. Discouraged, I took a before picture of me and a current pic of me and slapped them both into Photoshop for comparison (I lined up the noses so the distance was comparable). Hardly anything was different.

I still have the horrible arms, the gobs of back fat that makes me not even LOOK like a woman..why even bother if 118lbs can hardly put a dent in it?

Has anyone else had the same thoughts about their progress?
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Old 01-21-2013, 11:40 AM   #2
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Trust me, there's a huge difference. 120 pounds is a small person - you've lost a runway model. Try taking another picture of you in your favorite outfit (one that doesn't hang) and see if the difference is more noticeable. You've made a huge amount of weight and your mind just needs to catch up with your body.

And yes, I totally understand the feeling. I've been there. And looking back at old pictures when I thought I looked just the same as 100 lbs ago - uh, duh, no NO I did not! So I'm trying to "see" it more as I go now. And I do see it a little more this time around!
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:00 PM   #3
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Please be proud of yourself! 118 pounds is an incredible accomplishment!

Don't let one photo ruin the pride and momentum you have going! Look at those trash magazines, even actors and actresses can look like death warmed over in a photo.

I do understand where you are coming from. I am down 74 pounds and I just started noticing that I am down to 2 chins. Other than that, I don't see much difference in the body.

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Old 01-21-2013, 01:15 PM   #4
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The saying "you are your own worst critic" comes to mind here. I think you may just be experiencing a bit of body dismorphia. Trust me, 118 lbs is a huge amount of weight to shift and you deserve every bit of celebration and pride in your accomplishment, whether you can see it with your own eyes or whether, for now, you must depend on friends, family and the scale to speak to you. Good freakin job!
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:34 PM   #5
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Hugs coolacrity!

118lbs is amazing!!!! Please don't be so hard on yourself, you are worth so much more than that.

I can't see any change in myself in a mirror and my old clothes do "fit". Technically I can wear my 3x favorite sweatshirt and it fits me. But I can wear my new 1x one and it fits all the right places and doesn't "hang" like the 3x does.

It's a big adjustment for most of us to lose all of this weight, mentally and physically. And it's a lot of pounds in between sizes for us too, compared to the ladies in one-derland.

Now that I have lost weight, I go out of my way to be more ladylike. I am worth it! I might be wearing sweats but I have a streak of eyeliner on and earrings for sure, maybe even blingy ones that don't go with sweats! Sometimes I think I do it for my awesome DH but secretly, I think I do it for me.

You have done awesome on your weightloss, keep doing what you are doing. Don't secondguess yourself now, you are a beautiful lady and we are all here to support you anyway you need.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:41 PM   #6
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I'm sure if someone besides you compared the pictures, they would look VERY different. I also agree with the idea of comparing a photo of yourself in clothing that fits well now, not something big and baggy.

But I can also sympathize with things not seeming nearly as dramatic as you might expect. While I only lost ~65 lbs last time compared to your amazing 118, I still didn't see a big difference, and I had clothing I was wearing at my highest that I was still wearing when I got to my low. Sure, they were snug at the top weight and looser at the lower weight, but not baggy, falling off loose.

And no matter how much I lose, a lot of my trouble issues like the perma-muffin top (there even when I don't have clothes on!) are going to be around forwever, unless I decide to surgery. So while I think that I will look somewhat better at the end, I have to remind myself this this has to be more about how I feel and my health in general, rather than thinking that I am ever going to diet myself into an amazing body. But even a slightly better appearance in a stronger and healthier body is a goal worth working towards.
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Old 01-21-2013, 02:17 PM   #7
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PLEASE be proud of yourself. You don't see yourself the same way other people do. We are our worst critics!

Don't give up and don't think for one minute that you shouldn't be able to be happy about losing weight!
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Old 01-21-2013, 02:30 PM   #8
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118 pounds is an awesome accomplishment & trust me, it does show to others. Clothes are funny, a lot of them shrink with us & we can't always feel a big difference so we start dissecting things & looking at all the negativities we feel about our bodies.

I assume you are taking measurements weekly or monthly. That is the only way, in my opinion, to get objective data that can give a sense of how much we shrink when we lose weight.
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Old 01-21-2013, 05:30 PM   #9
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I guess I may be having a mood swing or something. I've been really pensive and anxious for the past two days over some things. This just did not help. I'll compare again with some other clothing.

As for measuring every month...nnnno, actually. Eh heh. I do take them every once in a while, but I'm not vigilant. It's difficult to do by yourself, and I don't want to bother people to help me do it (that's also why I don't have many pictures of myself!).
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Old 01-21-2013, 05:51 PM   #10
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Losing 118 pounds is a tremendous accomplishment! I suspect that other people may notice the changes more clearly than you do. Even if the visible difference isn't obvious to anybody yet, you're still doing so much for your health and well-being. AND you're a lot closer to being one of those Skinny Minnies who can stand in one leg of her "fat pants" than you would have been if you hadn't lost so much weight already. You're familiar with the Paper Towel Theory, right?

We're about the same height. In my previous weight loss attempts I started seeing the big changes in the 220s. Depending on your build, I bet that you'll start seeing some big changes when you get down to between 230-210 pounds. You're really close! Hang in there!

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Old 01-21-2013, 05:56 PM   #11
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Not to sound harsh, but what's the alternative??

You might not be the supermodel you envisioned yourself being, but you've taken tons of strain off your heart and organs and joints, you've done yourself a HUGE favour.
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Old 01-21-2013, 06:38 PM   #12
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coolacrity you've lost an incredible amount of weight! Im not sure of your age but regardless of age when the skin gets older or stretched very heavily it can have a hard time regaining elasticity.

I try to exfoliate and moisturize my body RIGHT out of the shower. Im a big fan of cetaphil patience my friend!
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:00 PM   #13
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@theox Paper Towel Theory? No, I've never heard of that one.

@Trazey34 Actually, no, that wasn't harsh. You're right, I've taken SOMETHING off. My legs and my back used to have this UGLY brownish black scaly stuff on them all the time, it's gone now. Yaaaay. So I should celebrate that.

@teekim22 I shall keep doing all that in mind.
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:09 PM   #14
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120 lbs is an amazing accomplishment, first off. So congratulations! I'm sorry you are discouraged with your progress pictures, but I'm betting it's a more amazing change than you are giving yourself credit for. And you've done great things for your health, to boot.
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:33 PM   #15
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I have taken some earlier advice and took a pic of myself in workout clothes to compare instead (no shirt). Holy moly. The change was so dramatic that I wasn't sure I lined the pictures up right. But after trying over and over again to adjust, there it was. Feeling kind of dumb now, actually.

Thanks for all the well wishes, friends. *hugs all*
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