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When you shouldn't be the only one dieting in your household...

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Old 05-06-2003, 11:39 AM   #1
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Default When you shouldn't be the only one dieting in your household...

This is a touchy subject.

My household is me and The Cute Boyfriend. We both need to lose weight. He keeps talking like he wants to but he doesn't do anything. So, last night we had a good long talk about what goals he wanted to accomplish and we're going to work on a plan this week for him to get to those goals. He seemed excited and depressed at the same time. He says he never had to diet before and he doesn't like the idea of giving up stuff he likes. Never had to diet before?? Sheesh!

Mainly, I want him to diet because he's freaking bad influence on me! BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE THE DIET POLICE!

Who out there has a "chubby hubby?"

Is your household on a diet or just you?

Are you on the same diet (which is what I'm going to try to accomplish) or different diets?
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Old 05-06-2003, 12:24 PM   #2
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My husband is the same way. He does need to diet, and he talks about wanting to diet, but he won't do anything about it. Of course all the years that I've been so heavy, and even when I reached 330 pounds, he never ever said a word to me about my weight, so I certainly am not going to say anything to him.

I know that if he had ever said anything to me, it wouldn't have motivated me to diet, it would have just hurt my feelings and upset me. I had to wait until I was truly ready to do this and be excited about it, so I'll just wait until he reaches that point.

I do try to make healthier changes in the meals that I make for the family, and I've tried to quit keeping so much junk food in the pantry. I've just discreetly replaced some of their snacks and junk with healthier choices. I do make seperate meals for the rest of my family than I make for myself, but with 6 growing kids in the house I can't expect them all to eat what I do.
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Old 05-06-2003, 12:36 PM   #3
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my hubby is also in need of losing weight and has lost some but still eats what he wants when he is not home. I dont allow him to bring junk into the house like cakes and stuff but he is free to eat them out of the house. We make healthy meals and the kids have there own snacks but i want them to learn to eat healthy so they never have to go through what i am. Just my 2 cents.
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Old 05-06-2003, 01:00 PM   #4
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Default Sheeesh...

Sheesh, that sounds all too familiar.

I have been unhappy with my weight for about three years now. My boyfriend, Ricardo is also overweight by about 60+ lbs.

Before I started my plan, I talked with him, and told him I wanted to lose weight. We talked, and he also said he wanted to lose weight. He said that we were going to diet together.

He said that we were going to stop eating out, we were going to work out together, and he was going to give up pop for good.

The next day, he's sitting there chugging down Coca-Cola, eating McDonalds, chips, anything he can find, that we didn't need.

He never even started a diet with me, nor do I think he ever plans to.

Right now it is VERY difficult being on this plan, with him eating whatever he wants. I used to be able to cook dinner for the both of us, but now I am just cooking for me. He doesn't like the healthy options. And it's not like I am FORCING healthy food on him. If I do get to cook a meal for him, I cook the things that I HAVE to have with my plan, and I'll cook him an extra side dish that he particuarly likes, like "Butter Noodles" (yuck) lol.

But it is hard, when we go some where, and he stops at McDonalds, and eats right in front of me, knowing I want to reach out and grab a french fry. Sometimes I think he does it on purpose...lol.

Maybe he'll get to the point one day where he realizes how much damage he is doing to his body. That's what made me want to change, when I realized my health was going down hill at a young age.

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Old 05-06-2003, 03:17 PM   #5
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My DH is willing to follow me down the path. He's actually come down in weight from 235 to 208. He does karate, which has helped immensely. So seeing HIM taking the weight off is a bit of a push for me.

My kids are both healthy, of normal weight (my 9yo daughter is only 60#, and my 6yo son - who is as tall as his sister! - is also 60#. Their last official weigh-ins were 57# for the 9yo, and 59# for the 6yo.)

I am starting an Atkins-based plan today. My uncle & aunt are on it. My uncle is down 50#, and my aunt is down 35#. What motivators!!

Cooking for the family will be just a little more challenging. Both kids will eat meat. We normally do corn, green beans, or baked beans, which DH & I will have to stay away from. The kids won't eat salads, but DH & I will. I have done grocery shopping today & yesterday - filling up the fridge & freezer with okay items. Sure adds up fast!! LOL!
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Old 05-06-2003, 04:25 PM   #6
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As far as diet goes - Steve follows my lead. If I am being bad - he jumps right in. But..if I am being good, he is usaully VERY cooperative. Sometimes it takes a week or 2 of my being good for him to really start being helpful because he doesn't believe that I am serious this time. And why should he. I stop and start so much you'd think I was a mail truck!!
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Old 05-06-2003, 05:13 PM   #7
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We don't live together, but have been kind of egging each other on w/the good habits, ie "I went to the gym today." "Oh yeah? I went for a 2 mile walk in the woods." "I'm having a banana & some ice water for my snack." "I walked right past the Easter candy @ the store." Stuff like that.

However, I could soooooo see us being couch spuds w/the chocolate. I just hope this egging on stuff continues.

With my ex, we would eat constantly. I gained 70# when I was with him. We had a "our" Italian restaurant, never did any exercise. It makes me marvel a bit at how far I've come.
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Old 05-06-2003, 05:21 PM   #8
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Okay, Mthrgoose! You're living MY LIFE!!

Quote:
Originally posted by mthrgoos68
My husband is the same way. He does need to diet, and he talks about wanting to diet, but he won't do anything about it. Of course all the years that I've been so heavy, and even when I reached 330 pounds, he never ever said a word to me about my weight, so I certainly am not going to say anything to him.
Mine, too. He has high blood pressure and a family history of diabetes and has sleep apnea so severe that he has to sleep with a breathing machine. He weighs around 230 and should weigh around 185. Two docs have told him he needs to lose weight, he KNOWS he does, but still does nothing. However, I also don't want to hurt his feelings.

Quote:
Originally posted by mthrgoos68 I know that if he had ever said anything to me, it wouldn't have motivated me to diet, it would have just hurt my feelings and upset me. I had to wait until I was truly ready to do this and be excited about it, so I'll just wait until he reaches that point. [/b]
Years ago, hubby actually DID say something about my weight and it hurt me so badly and pissed me off so badly that I went into "Oh yeah? I'll show you!" mode. I lost it, got pregnant with daughter, and gained it all back in the space of about 7 months.


Quote:
Originally posted by mthrgoos68 I do try to make healthier changes in the meals that I make for the family, and I've tried to quit keeping so much junk food in the pantry. I've just discreetly replaced some of their snacks and junk with healthier choices. I do make seperate meals for the rest of my family than I make for myself, but with 6 growing kids in the house I can't expect them all to eat what I do. [/b]
I also am making healthier meals and trying to keep the crap out of the cabinets. I REFUSE REFUSE REFUSE to make separate meals, though! If they don't like what I cook, they make their own damn dinner!
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Old 05-06-2003, 05:47 PM   #9
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I'll have to ditto JacobsMommy. My DH will eat what I prepare and lost 70 pounds the last time we followed Susan Powter religiously without too much effort on his part. He did accuse me of shutting down Slicks (the local hot dog joint) because I refused to eat there anymore and he did start clucking like a chicken everytime that was on the dinner menu but he will follow my lead for the most part.

Bless his heart, I don't know if he plays dumb or he just isn't interested enough to actually try to understand a plan. When I am followling a low fat plan he wants cheese. On Atkins he wants carbs. He once said he wanted to lose weight and was going to watch what he ate. I left the room and came back to find him eating from a box of Whitmans. I said
I thought you were going to diet?" His reply? "Well, it COULDN"T be that fattening. Look how small a piece of candy is!"

I know I haven't said anything to help but maybe it is comfort to know that there are others out here who also have a chubby spouse who doesn't always help with the plan.
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Old 05-06-2003, 07:29 PM   #10
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Jenelle,

You're living my life!! My husband probably has fifty pounds to lose, a family history of diabetes, and has sleep apnea, which he has the machine for...sigh! He also has "high normal" blood pressure, and is on medication for that.

I went with him to the doctor a year ago when he got the sleep machine. He said he really wanted to lose weight. He just got back into walking for about an hour four or five times a week, which is wonderful.

BUT he has absolutely NO idea what constitutes a serving size or the amount of calories in anything. We don't keep any junk in the house (except sometimes donuts for Matthew, which neither of us eat) I cook very healthy meals-he just eats these very large servings. I swear, at breakfast, he must eat the equivalent of five servings of cereal...with skim milk, but it's still a ton of calories. I have shown him what serving sizes look like, and offered to measure out portions, but here we are, more than one year later from that doctor's visit. I've lost thirty two pounds, and I don't think he's lost a thing. He doesn't even get on the scale EVER! ( I can't imagine that)

So, you can wish all you want that your significant other would be on program with you....but the bottom line is, if somebody really wants to do it, they will do it alone, whether their mate is with them or not. I NEVER want to see 256 on my scale again. I can't wait to be out of the 220's.

Hugs,
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Old 05-06-2003, 07:41 PM   #11
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well, i'll be the first to post the opposite side.

david is 6 feet tall and weighs 170. he weighed around 150 when i met him, put on a little fat and a little muscle to reach 170.

he eats whatever he wants, usually a lot. while i warned him about all the grease and such, i let him be. we'll eat dinner together, he just eats 2 or 3 servings.

on his own, about a week ago, he decided to start entering the foods he eats into calorieking.com. he was shocked at the fat % and is working on bringing that down. he aims for his daily goal (2500-3000) and is proud of himself.

i'm really happy he's doing this because it makes him more aware, and i'll have a heathier man.

also, he's been SOOOOOO supportive and sometimes a little strict with me and dieting. he watches what i eat almost as close as i do. but he's never tried to sabotage me.
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Old 05-07-2003, 01:25 PM   #12
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I'm with Holly. Greg is 6 feet and weighs about 180. He's depressed because he's LOST weight. It makes me nuts. He can eat ANYTHING.

I love him to pieces, but I almost wish he could be my "partner in crime" so I wouldn't have to buy him the things he likes but that I can't resist. He also just doesn't understand what its like or how hard it is to lose weight, although he is very encouraging when I tell him about progress I've made.

I love him to pieces, but there is literally not an ounce of body fat to be found anywhere except about 2 oz right under his chin. I feel like I live with a Chippendale's dancer. Not that I'm complaining about that!
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Old 05-07-2003, 09:11 PM   #13
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Thumbs down OH MY DEAR HUBBY!

What am I going to do with this man. The upside I do the grocery shopping so the house is 99% clean food. When we eat out we have figured out exactly what I can eat. It really limits your options. But he still has the fattest thing on the menu. Watching him eat sometimes kills my appetite so completely its not funny

He has about 80 lbs to lose, but I don't think that is as detrimental as his low physical activity. He can't keep up with me. This is what bums me out He is working on it, but refuses to go to the gym. He sees no point in physical activity that doesn't accomplish real work, well he would have more energy for all activity if he would excercise.

At least he has quit trying to feed me (For awhile I thought I would have to wear a tee that said, "Do NOT FEED the Chris" ) Thank goodness I love him.

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Old 05-07-2003, 11:04 PM   #14
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DB is so well trained and so diligent that it's almost scary sometimes. He used to be ROTC, and is very mild mannered, so when I told him I was going to start eating healthier and exercising and that I wanted him to do the same (he's 5'10" and weighed about 205 pounds in January), he said ok, and just goes ahead and jogs when I go to workout. He's down to 185, I believe, and I've dropped about 35 pounds. The problem is that he follows MY lead, so *I* have to be the one to constantly behave.

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Old 05-07-2003, 11:15 PM   #15
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I live with just my dad, and he's overweight... maybe 50 lbs? But he has "more important things to worry about." (Sure, Dad.) Oh well though, it's not like me, a 15 y/o girl wants to talk diet-talk with my 53 y/o dad! Everyone in my immediate family is over weight!! I JUST realized this... my dad who lives with me, then my mom, sisters, most of my aunts, uncle, and cousins!! Anyone who says it's not genetic is crazy, I think. I'm STILL the only one of us trying to beat the system! LMAO. They're going to be jealous of me one day.... (Not that that's my goal or anything!) Bye for now. -Apryl
 
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