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Lurkers- Come out and play!

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Old 01-17-2013, 12:05 AM   #1
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Default Lurkers- Come out and play!

It's interesting that the forums show how many people have viewed a particular thread. Even a boring thread like my "Want to be App Friends?" has averaged 12 views an hour, even though I posted it after 5 for the East Coast. Yet only three people responded- for 7 posts total.

So I have to imagine that there are many many lurkers on this board (and all of the others, really).

Why do you speculate that there are so many lurkers? Why don't they want to come out and play? Did you start your time out at 3FC as a lurker? Was it hard to begin posting?

Do you think that people lose more weight when they start actively posting at 3FC?
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Old 01-17-2013, 05:18 AM   #2
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Okay, I'll admit I'm a lurker.

When I first joined 3FC I was posting, but I stopped. The reason was that I was sharing how I felt about something and I felt attacked by other posters who thought I was "wrong". Well, some people might like to engage in a debate, but I didn't. I was/am in a fragile emotional state because I'm dealing with an adult daughter who is a drug addict. I don't need any more stress in my life.

So, I'm a lurker. I find the topics/conversations on here interesting and visit everyday to see whats going on. I've managed to get to goal. It took me almost 2 years. Would participating in the forum more actively have helped me? I don't know, but maybe I could have helped someone else.

Wishing everyone success in reaching their goal.
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Old 01-17-2013, 05:54 AM   #3
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I found the forum, had a look at the activity and joined right away. I have a thing about joining a forum which is not active and the last post was like a week ago but I think a lot of people would be like that, right?

I used to lurk on other forums, see what was going on. It could be people wanting to start a journey but are scared too.

But to all lurkers reading this, come and join! I have never regretted joining and neither will you.
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Old 01-17-2013, 06:40 AM   #4
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I'm most definitely a lurker. I come to 3FC daily, but seldom post.

I am not 'dieting', therefore I don't feel I have anything of value to add to conversations.

But, I do thoroughly enjoy reading all comments/quotes/quandaries from other posters.
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Old 01-17-2013, 08:31 AM   #5
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I'm a lurker (on here and several other forums). You wouldn't think it would be possible to be paralyzingly shy as an anonymous wall of text on the internet, but as it turns out, it is.

A lot of times I'll type out a response, read through it, think "that sounds stupid" or "8 other people have already said that, why repeat it" and then delete. I also get my feelings hurt over online comments *way* too easily - and I recognize that this is my problem, not anyone else's, so to minimize that I just don't post as much.

I will say that of all my different forums, I find 3fc to be the most friendly/supportive/non-threatening of them all. I come pretty much every day to read and find support in the community, even though I don't participate much.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:01 AM   #6
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deblosing, I'm sorry you felt attacked. I didn't see the post, but as the sister of a drug addict, I understand how hard it can be, especially how hard it is on my mom, I'm sorry you're going through that.

I lose more when I participate in the forums. I got down into Onderland using these forums and then gained it back when I didn't have that 'accountability'. Sure, I'm learning how to do iton my own, and if 3FC closed today, I would hate it, but I wouldn't stay fat because y'all weren't here. I love participating in the decade threads, the daily weigh ins. You guys understand this struggle better than anyone else I know, my friends and family all tend to be naturally slender, and if they put on weight, they recognize it within 25 lbs and correct it. Obviously, I don't have that ability, so I need a bit more support. When I first joined I lurked for a long time, I would read along and think about what was being said and it helped, but posting, participating, making friends, boosted my own confidence that I too can do this.
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Old 01-17-2013, 09:42 AM   #7
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I LOVE Internet forums. ADORE, ADORE, ADORE! When internet forums were just starting to come about- my mom met a bunch of wonderful women from all across the country and ended up walking the Portland Marathon together- AND were featured on the Oprah show!

A couple years ago I joined forums on The Knot. I met my best friend and she was actually the maid of honor in my wedding. Can you imagine? My maid of honor was someone that I met on the internet?

I think the internet is a powerful tool. That being said, deblosingit, I've seen forums turn for the negative. That's actually exactly why I left my board on The Knot. Girls were beginning to get mean- I tried to stop them and couldn't, so the only decision I could make was to leave. I don't support that type of behavior. I know people's weight loss decisions can be quite controversial, but I think my role is only to support and if need be- encourage to seek medical assistance if I think it's borderline unhealthy.

But you really hit the nail on the head with this one:
Quote:
Originally Posted by deblosingit View Post
Would participating in the forum more actively have helped me? I don't know, but maybe I could have helped someone else.
I like to think that perhaps my journey and positivity might help others.
Bunny, SRosa- I don't want to pressure you to join in if you aren't comfortable, but your mere presence is supportive. Even if you don't have anything new to add- Even if it is just, "Ditto! Rock on, sister!" I just wanted you to know that you are special.

Lurkers are special. I like to think that I have dozens of anonymous cheerleaders urging me forward. Daily checking in on me. Wanting to see me reach their goals. And likewise- I'm hoping the same thing for them. When I see those "views" begin to creep up, I'm wishing that those lurkers are one step closer to their goal.

But of course, it would be easier to support you if I knew who you were.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:59 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lunarsongbird View Post
I LOVE Internet forums. ADORE, ADORE, ADORE!
...
I think the internet is a powerful tool. That being said, deblosingit, I've seen forums turn for the negative.
...
I know people's weight loss decisions can be quite controversial, but I think my role is only to support and if need be- encourage to seek medical assistance if I think it's borderline unhealthy.
...
I like to think that perhaps my journey and positivity might help others.
Bunny, SRosa- I don't want to pressure you to join in if you aren't comfortable, but your mere presence is supportive. Even if you don't have anything new to add- Even if it is just, "Ditto! Rock on, sister!" I just wanted you to know that you are special.

Lurkers are special. I like to think that I have dozens of anonymous cheerleaders urging me forward. Daily checking in on me. Wanting to see me reach their goals. And likewise- I'm hoping the same thing for them. When I see those "views" begin to creep up, I'm wishing that those lurkers are one step closer to their goal.

But of course, it would be easier to support you if I knew who you were.
Ditto.
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:05 AM   #9
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I'm sure there are a lot of lurkers, but I think a lot of us regulars read threads and just don't have anything original to post or add. I wish sometimes that it was like FB so I could go through and "like" what someone said as a "ditto" to add my support silently.

I'm not much of a lurker by nature. I'm a classic Gemini - I almost always have something to say! So for me, coming to the boards is the same as posting.

I also like posting because I can see my ticker! And, I've been on here a long time and like to go back and read old posts periodically and see my progress and even remind myself of previous things I've done that worked. And yes, I like to give back when I can. My heart stings pull when I see a fresh newbie asking for help and motivation. We have stickies for those things, but nothing beats a personal reply.

I definitely have more success staying on track when I post here. During the times that I haven't been here, I'm maintaining or gaining - but never losing! LOL

Especially as we get out of January and into later months when the activity on the board goes down - please chime in lurkers!
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:15 AM   #10
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one thing to remember about page views is that this site is accesible to anyone - so lurkers are not just people who have signed up but don't post much (or at all). There are also lots of people who simply read here without ever signing up but who are still counted in the page views.

Personally, I love to hear from the most voices possible so I hope that more lurkers will sign up and/or start posting!
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Old 01-17-2013, 11:28 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bunny43 View Post
But, I do thoroughly enjoy reading all comments/quotes/quandaries from other posters.
Yep, me too. I lurk most of the time (except I usually weigh in daily), but I am definitely cheering everyone on!
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