I recently read about someone who had felt they had completely crossed the abyss and were now able to listen to their bodies in order to make the best food choices. The called this state "Intuitive eating". I will never reach this state. Ask my body what it wants to eats and it says really bad things, Oreos is what is coming to mind at the moment.
I am a perpetual fat girl there is no cure. My relationship with food is abnormal as an anorexic. All I have is the tools that help me:
1. My BFL book
2. The sweet wonderful ladies at 3FC
3. My spreadsheet that tracks my progress
4. A gym within walking distance of my house
So what do you think? Could you ever just listen to your body? What are your tools?
bljeghbe' chugh vaj blHegh- Klingon for Surrender or Die
Weight Jan 2006- 257 lbs
Current weight-202.8 (5'7 1/2)
Goal weight-155 lbs.
I don't think you are a pertual fat girl at all! I don't want to view food as the enemy and certain foods as off limits. I hope to be able to enjoy all kinds of food just in moderation and with some sense of sanity. Previously, eating was the goal. I think I enjoyed actually eating and looking forward to eating more than the actual taste of the food.
So, I kind of agree that at some point we can recognize normal amounts of food and make good decisions about the kinds of things we are eating.
BTW, You are a strikingly beautiful woman Miss Chris whether or not you lose another pound of weight (i promise I am not hiting on a married women!)
I feel confident that I will accomplish good things in my lifetime, but overcoming my weight and food issues isn't one of them. For something I love so much it makes me so sad and angry at times.
I can't for the life of me understand why the pain of being overweight isn't enough to motivate me to do something about it. I am always concious of my body and consumed by thoughts of disappointment in myself. I know what must be done, and at times I feel like I am ready to do it. Eat better, get out and start exercising again. These thoughts normally come just after I have appeased myself by bingeing or at a time I am unable to get out and move. In bed at night, at work or in the car. It is like the side of my brain that is so miserable about being overweight isn't communicating that disgust with the side that has these good intentions.
One minute I am thankful for the life I have made with my wonderful fiance and great dogs, and being fat doesn't matter. Another minute nothing will be right until I lose this weight.
I don't know if I will ever be able to be intuitive enough to naturally make good food choices. I've been battling an eating disorder(s) for the last 10 years (bulimia/BED), and I have to restrict certain foods. Like cereal for example - I have to buy cereal that I don't like for my daughter (she likes it though), or else I'll end up binging on it. There is no moderation for certain things with me, sadly. So for now, I just don't buy any of my trigger foods, and hope that someday I'll be able to eat them in moderation.
For me, the fact that I finally have realized that this is FOREVER is what has made me turn the corner. I must always be diligent about what I eat and how I feel while eating and whether or not I have true hunger or emotional hunger. I am like an alcoholic, with one big problem: alcoholics don't need to drink to live, but I can't just stop eating altogether.
I also have run the gamut of eating disorders....anorexic behaviors (thank GOD I never fell into full-blown anorexia!), compulsive overeating, bingeing...about the only thing I haven't done is bulimia, but that's because I absolutely hate to throw up.
My tools are my journal (both food and personal), you guys , and the gym.
get out of the 230s by July 23rd: Met 7/23/2009
52 lbs. in 52 weeks (12/31/2009): Met 10/29/2009
180 (driver's license weight):
170.8 (100 lbs. lost):
160 (10 lbs to go!):
150 (final goal):
I am just listening to my body for now. For a long time, my body wanted the chicken parm dinner w/the side of tomato spinach garlic cheese bread & a large Coke oh & could you throw a couple of cannoli's in there? Today, it wanted the Amy's Organic cheese ravs & a garden salad & some skim. But after I ate the ravs, I wasn't hungry anymore. So I put the salad back in the fridge & the milk too. I had the milk w/a banana for a snack later & had the salad for dinner.
As far as tools, I think being more aware of my feelings & emotions has really helped. If I know I'm feeling edgy & not actually hungry, then I try & pop a piece of gum, or eat something healthy like some carrots or grapes. Sure, I have some chocolate everyday. I've learned how to break Hershey's miniatures in half, and to leave the half in my mouth, letting it melt completely, no chewing. This satisfies my chocolate craving.
Also, knowing how long it takes to walk 2 miles helps, as does keeping my walking shoes & a pair of (clean!) socks in my car for easy walks.
The other thing that keeps me going is my clothes getting looser.
As far as the food goes, I know that I have a tendency to overeat--in my family, food meant love. We got together & we ate. That's just what we did. I know that I can't have any food be off limits, that just makes it all the more appealing for me. (Cheetos, anyone?) But now that I've told myself I can have a small bag if I'm really craving them, I haven't craved them much. Weird how that works.
I know now that I can be trusted to make wise choices when out socially--my bout w/food poisoning did that for me quite nicely.
"It's never too late to be what you might have been." -George Eliot
BTW Matt thank you for the compliment, your not so bad your self
So some of us feel like we can cross that abyss and some of us can't. I also heard ,"No food can be off limits" I totally agree with that. During the week if I have a craving I write it down. On Friday I evaluate what I really want and I plan my Free Day accordingly. Tommorow I want Popeye (spinach and chicken in a peanut butter sauce) and coffee ice cream. I like Free Day it gives me something to look forward to and I have only had 1 Free Weekend Binge since I started BFL, and oh did it make me feel bad
I have to agree fo me I live where Jenelle lives. The realization that my relationship to food is abnormal and unending gives me another tool to help me be concious and healthier. My 2 cents.
bljeghbe' chugh vaj blHegh- Klingon for Surrender or Die
Weight Jan 2006- 257 lbs
Current weight-202.8 (5'7 1/2)
Goal weight-155 lbs.
This is a very interesting thread. I watched Dr. Phill yesterday and one of the statements on that show really struck home with me. They were talking about a woman who had reached her goal weight but was "white knuckling" it. She was afraid that if she lessened her guard to control her eating she would re-gain the 100+ pounds that she had lost. I fear I will probably have to be as on guard. I have almost reached goal before and then slipped back into old habits that led me back up the scale.
I also wonder if my relationship with food might not be somehow related to brain chemistry. I know there are times when I am not obsessing about food/weight and can stay on program or plan with little effort and there are other times when I absolutely can not for the life of me stay on plan. I don't know what changes from one state to the next though.
Jennelle, I totally agree with your statement about alcohol and addictive behaviours. I quit smoking several years ago (and gained about 70 pounds) and while is was the most difficult thing I have succeeded in doing, it was easy (yes, easy) in comparrison to getting control of my food/weight issues. I can never smoke again and never be around people who do but I can not stop eating or being around people who do.
This is an interesting subject. I would like to believe that along the way a person losing weight would lose that need to be diligent and watchful around food. I watch and talk to my thin friends & family members, and they don't think about food 24 hrs a day like I seem to. They just eat when they're hungry and quit when they're full. They eat what they love or really crave without regard to calories, fat grams, points or any of the other things we "count". I have a son that would say "I'd like something sweet" and eat 1 or 2 bites of a candybar and throw the rest away (well, he would want to throw it away but I would always intervene & eat it myself ). I watch my grands & when they're very young, they eat this way too, so I'm sure at one time I did too. I have this dream of being that way again.
The Dr. Phil show yesterday was very eye-opening to me too. The one woman who had lost over 100 lbs and her family said she was "no fun" and "mean" and she said she was "white knuckling" being thin. He told her that most people who end up over 100 lbs overweight have an addictive personality, and he said he thought she had changed her addiction from food to one of being thin. It was interesting to me. You always think that if you just lose the weight, everything will just be wonderful. But this woman (to me) seemed just as miserable as she was before she lost the weight. I guess more than ever, I need to be working harder on the issues I have that I eat over, (WHY I am eating when not hungry, etc.) and less time obsessing about WHAT I am putting in my mouth. It really pointed up that if you don't change your life, attitude, whatever you want to call it, along the way, then thin is just going to be feeling thin and miserable, instead of feeling fat and miserable.
If you are facing in the right direction, all you have to do is keep walking. ancient Buddhist saying
2007 at highest wt, 265#
started SBD 3/11/2010 at 210.5#
I know that when (not if, but when!) I lose the weight that it will be a constant monitoring process for me. I know it won't be easy and that I won't have to think about food or eating right. I imagine that I will weight myself every week to make sure that I haven't gained 2 or 3 pounds, and if I have, then I will have to work harder to get back down again.
However, I hope that I am now in the process of not obsessing on food and obsessing on occasions to eat. I hope to enjoy food and not limit types of food, but recognize that all actions have consequences. Food is not the enemy, or relationship to food is the enemy!
For me, once you've left the world of unhealthy eating and disgusting habits, you're less likely to return, even if you could.
I think you can see this with BFLers who have been on the program for a long time and their free day becomes less and less of a binge day. I know that if I eat something I no longer put on my regular menu (like pizza hut pizza) I feel really gross and even ill afterwards. I think that's your body talking to you.
Yes, my body says "real Coke is soooo yummy... c'mon have some liquid sugar, you love it," but my brain knows better to dip into that pandora's box. So, I can't listen to my body right now, my brain is in control. But I know that my body will kick those addictions some day. That's when my body and I can start talking again.
I remember when I lost 150 lbs (in about a year and 1/2) and was at my goal weight. Any time I came near a bag of chips or cake, I would literally shake uncontrollably. I can't even describe the fear I felt. I kept the weight off for 13+ years.
I had a major even happen in my family 5 years that totally threw me in the other direction and I started to gain. 80 lbs later sigh ~
Being addicted to food is, I believe the worst addiction because you can not live with out it. Every store even the craft stores have row's and row's of candy staring at you. Like I told my hubby when he quit smoking... at least you don't have to look at cigarets every time you go some where and you don't need them to live. You can walk away and not look back (not that I'm saying its easy either, but you know what I mean).
Very interesting thread! What made me get serious about my weight loss journey was being diagnosed as a diabetic. So I'll always have to be mindful of what I eat . . . I'm just hoping that making good choices becomes less of a struggle and more of a "natural" thing. Plus, right now I'm having to measure and write down everything I eat . . . I'm hoping that by the time I reach my goal I'll be able to recognize what good portion sizes are and not have to journal everything (maybe have one day a week when I measure & journal to make sure I'm still on track).
I know that for me it was also health that got me really motivated on my weight loss this time around. For the first time ever, my blood pressure was too high and I was having really bad anxiety attacks.
I know that once before I did lose all my weight and got down to 136, but I gained it all back and lots more. That time around I didn't really change my lifestyle. I used Dr. Atkins diet and stayed on Induction the entire time (meat, eggs, and cheese only). I lost the weight quickly, but I never exercised at all.
This time I feel like I'm actually makine lifestyle changes. I'm eating healthy foods and exercising every day. The only thing that does worry me is that I'm also very strict on this diet. I haven't cheated even once since I started in January at 330 pounds. It's like it has to be all or nothing for me and I know that's not good. I'm a little bit worried that once I do reach goal and I don't need to restrict my calories so much, I haven't learned about moderation.
I definitely know that I won't let my weight get that out of control again. I'm already enjoying life so much more with 92 pounds less of me. I also know that the support I find here makes all the difference in the world!