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seriously at the end of my rope :-(

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Old 12-30-2012, 02:15 PM   #1
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Unhappy seriously at the end of my rope :-(

Thank you for reading my post. I am seriously at the end of my rope. I'm 50 years-old, fat, and alone. I won't even let anyone in...not that anyone has tried since I put my weight back on. I know what to do, but I have no one to help support me. Honestly, I'm so alone. I feel desperate for support. I won't go out anywhere anymore. I think my decline started when my son died 5 years ago and I'm back up to 230 lbs. I want out of this body before I get more deeply depressed. I'm at my bottom, but I have no motivation at all. I'm all talk know I'll feel better overall when/if I start to lose weight, but often I tell myself all these negative things like "why bother". Please, I need a reason to feel good. I've even stopped going to Church. I am a comfort eater to say the least and the foods I crave, like cheese and fried foods are my comfort. I've looked in my area for food addiction counseling and came up empty, which is what led me here to this online support. I truly hate what I've done to myself and my life. Thanks for listening................. Theresa P.S. I don't know what Trackbacks is?? At the bottom here it says "Send Trackbacks to..."
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:25 PM   #2
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I don't know what Trackbacks mean, either and don't see them referred to anywhere on this page.
Welcome to your weight loss journey. You have made a start by posting here.Do you have a diet and exercise plan ?
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:25 PM   #3
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Hi Theresa, welcome to the forum.

Sorry to hear about your situation and the loneliness you're experiencing. I definitely agree that if you have nobody to speak to in person, posting on a forum such as here at 3FC can help.

Hopefully you'll find comfort in the sense of community here. There are members from all walks of life, so hopefully you'll find the support you need.

Best of luck with your weightloss journey

Remember, just signing up is a step in the right direction towards a healthier you.
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:32 PM   #4
Start of a new life.. :)
 
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Theresa, I could have written your very post… I lost my 2year old son and 8 year old daughter in 2005,

I went off a cliff at that time and have been going downhill ever since I just want to eat myself to death and die too.

However, as of yesterday, I told myself no more, they would not have wanted me to do this…

I live alone and we are the same age and the same weight.

I would love to be your support friend. PM me anytime…

Last edited by Spicylyfe : 12-30-2012 at 02:34 PM.
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:40 PM   #5
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Take each day as it comes, we are all here for one another and in one way or another want the same thing and can be her for everyone x
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:53 PM   #6
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I think you need to see a doc and get on a little something...an antidepressant maybe the catalyst that you need just to start going to Church, then maybe a walk, then ...who knows but it sounds to ME , you are going deeper into a depression and there is nothing wrong with needing some help with your mood. Depression is a real disease...just as real as diabetes or kidney stones and you would treat that.....kepp us posted and I am praying for ya
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Old 12-30-2012, 04:24 PM   #7
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Theresa, I'm so sorry for your loss. I will pray that you find the strength to go back to church. I know my church has support groups and grief share groups that are very helpful. Reach out to someone there -- even if it's over the phone and tell them what you're going through. They want to help.

I agree that posting here is a good start. You've begun your journey! Chin up! And, welcome to the 3fatchicks world!
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Old 12-31-2012, 07:06 PM   #8
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Hello, Theresa. I'm so sorry for the loss of your son - I can't even imagine.

Welcome to the group. You aren't alone in here. I'm not sure what advice we can offer - it sounds like you know what you have to do and just can't pull it all together to start. Try making a 1 week commitment. See what happens in a week. Anyone can do this for a week, right? If nothing else, cut back on portions and on junk. And on fried foods. Load up on salads and veggies. Eat fruits instead of sweets. But telling you this is not what you need - I'm sure you know what to do - it's just difficult doing it. We're all in that boat.

As corny as it sounds, try to think about how good it will feel to lose even 20 pounds. It has to feel better than how you feel now - physically and emotionally. Try to focus on the idea of getting rid of these negative feelings and replace them with positive ones. Difficult - yes. Impossible - no. Turn to us for support. Every day. Several time a day. You aren't alone.

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Old 12-31-2012, 07:41 PM   #9
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if you can, tie a knot in that rope and hang on! I really think you could benefit from some grief counselling. Forget about the food right now, you need to focus on coming to some kind of terms with the insurmountable loss you've experienced. There are so many amazing grief support groups, with like people, ready to lend a hand and know where you've been.

I hope 2013 brings a ray of light back to you, and you're able to see a future for yourself and know that you're WORTH having one.

big hugs
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:12 AM   #10
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Thank you all so much for your words of support and suggestions. Everyone has very good ideas. I really do like the suggestion to take things a week at a time. I tend to look at the long journey, which can seem unreachable. I vow to do the best I can to have a better perspective on life and focus on reaching mini-goals and getting this depression treated. How do you all get the cute bar trackers that measure your weight loss? I'd like to add one! Thanks, Theresa
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Old 01-03-2013, 10:23 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anm1962 View Post
Thank you all so much for your words of support and suggestions. Everyone has very good ideas. I really do like the suggestion to take things a week at a time. I tend to look at the long journey, which can seem unreachable. I vow to do the best I can to have a better perspective on life and focus on reaching mini-goals and getting this depression treated. How do you all get the cute bar trackers that measure your weight loss? I'd like to add one! Thanks, Theresa
I also get caught up on the BIG picture instead of focusing on the steps to be taken. I broke up my weight loss into mini goals that I knew I would be really proud of and work it out to be ABOUT 10 lbs a piece give or take. And I really try to focus just on the goal in front of me. You can do this!

Also, addressing mental health issues will help tremendously. I can't tell you how night/day it is since I've gotten treatment for my ADD and anxiety.

3fc has a ticker you can find under the "USER CP" bar, but the one I use is from lilyslim.com (you can just click on my ticker and it'll take you there), just make sure you create an account so you can edit it. Be sure to grab the code from "FORUM" portion.
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Old 01-03-2013, 11:10 AM   #12
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Signing up to join this group is a huge first step. You are dealing with so much more than most of us that I admire your spirit that you want to try to fix things. You mentioned trying to find a food addiction support group. I haven't been to their meetings, but have heard from friends that TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) is wonderful at helping with emotional eating. If there's not one in your area, you can find information online at tops.org.

Setting mini-goals instead of looking at the big picture definitely helps. In fact, I tell myself that my only goal is to get to the first mini-goal. For me, just sticking to any plan more than a day has become a challenge in my life. By joining this group, I made myself promise that I would log in every day, post every day, and focus on getting the reinforcement I needed from this group. That takes the focus off the changes that need to be made. It's working for me, but all of us have to find our own path.

Just know that I'm a new member, and am very impressed with how supportive and kind the people on this site are. Of course, some of it is because everyone has certainly struggled with the weight issues. I hope you will make it a goal to post every day and let us all know how you're doing.
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