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feeling hopeless, need encouragement!

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Old 10-13-2012, 12:01 PM   #1
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Default feeling hopeless, need encouragement!

Ladies (and gents)
I have been kind of hanging in there, but not really losing weight per se.
Life's been so hectic, I've basically been trying to make healthy choices *most* of the time, but not doing anything beyond that.
Some meals I'd be stellar, some not so much.
But overall the scale is rewarding me with a steady but upward trend.
I don't know what to do and I am freaking out a little because I know my body and no way would my weight have been going "up" right now with the things I'm doing, so I don't understand why suddenly I'm gaining weight.
I'm at my all time high, and embarrassed to think that I weigh as much as I did full term with my SECOND pregnancy. Except there is no baby there to account for some of that weight.
I am freaking out, and yet have no time to ever sit and "truly freak out" cause life is so busy.
Is there a program that I can follow that will be helpful for me in my case? I'm 37. Not sure if some things are more effective now than others.
I am feeling like this weight is becoming this insurmountable mountain that I can never cross.
My friend (post pregnancy) pretty much had a nervous breakdown because she has 20 lbs to lose. I was listening to her and wondering what I should even be feeling when I weigh over 100lbs over my wedding weight.
My weight is affecting my life in every way, I'm not myself anymore.
And I'm feeling this irrational fear that I'm never going to make it!
Did any of you feel this at some point? What helped?
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Old 10-13-2012, 12:19 PM   #2
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well, there is no other way to say it that this:
don't just "try" to make healthy choices - do it. if you life is busy and gets in the way of this, then plan for time for yourself when you can plan and prep your meals. find the time and work it in to exercise. Any program you would choose is going to require you to do something different. Right now what you are doing is not working, so you need to change this and do something else.

you cannot use life as an excuse not to change things to attain what you want. many, MANY people have a hectic life and they make it work. The hardest part is to stop using that as an excuse and actually do something about it.

I don't know much more about you, but sharing a bit more about what makes life so hectic may help others to help you.

I'm not trying to be mean, I hope it doesn't come across that way.
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Old 10-13-2012, 12:27 PM   #3
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Default re:

I do agree with what the second poster has said.

Life is busy, no doubt. I try to use that to my advantage though. In the past, I'd just stop at a fast food place and call it good. Now, I make sure there's something quick at home -like turkey sandwich makings. I still don't exercise consistently though. If I do, it's over lunch at work.

I still make meals for my son, but my husband is on his own. (I can't cook anyway) By the time everything is done for the day, it's usually around 8pm and by then, I'm so wiped out I'm in bed by 9 - which is an easy way to curb evening snacking.

You just have to ask yourself how badly do you want to lose weight? There's a thousand reasons we can tell ourselves we can't or won't lose weight, you just have to find the reasons that say you CAN.
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Old 10-13-2012, 12:33 PM   #4
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Not taken in a mean way at all! I fully agree.
with 2 young kids, working 2 jobs and fully immersed in helping family member battle cancer I feel like nothing about life has been normal and I don't have a moment to myself.
I thought I could put things into cruise control for a while and simply maintain weight until I can tackle it, but it is just creeping up and I'm freaking out.
Other people lose weight under stress - not me!!
As I mentioned in a previous post, I've felt that for me to lose weight anytime I have been even mildly successful it always needed to become a big priority in my life and cannot happen passively. With not having that much time (physically or emotionally) to devote to it, its just creeping up and creating another problem!
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Old 10-13-2012, 12:48 PM   #5
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Most of all be KIND to yourself it's easier said than done when you are a stress eater. Take 1 day & 1 meal @ a time NOT giving you permission to eat BUT just take a breath & re group.
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Old 10-13-2012, 12:52 PM   #6
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I can promise you, if you force the time to take care of you, the other aspects of your life will benefit too. You will have more energy to play with the kids, take care of the house, even helping others in our circle of friends and family.

How do I know this? I have lived it. When I'm on plan.. and not just choosing healthy things to eat, but paying attention to the calories in them too (some whole wheat bread is 120 calories PER SLICE!!!). Making time for exercising (instead of going back to bed after hubby goes to work while I wait for the kids to get up, I make myself stay up and exercise).. I have tons of energy. My house starts to look livable (after the first few weeks when I feel like I'm dying from the changes I have made), my kids get more time from me playing with them (I have 4, ages 13, 7, 6, and 3.. the youngest 3 are all homeschooled), my husband benefits and I feel better about myself.
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Old 10-13-2012, 12:52 PM   #7
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Wow. You are dealing with a lot. My life is crazy, too. Maybe not as crazy, but...

Here are some things that work for me (most of the time):

Accept that I can be hungry until I get something acceptable to eat. I try to avoid having extended fasting periods, but I have embraced some IF principles, so I am no longer concerned that skipping meals will cause ill effects.

I got a Fitbit. Right now, I am mostly using it as a pedometer. It inspires me to take extra steps by parking farther, taking an extra spin around the grocery store before starting to fill my cart, using the farthest restroom, pacing as I review documents, etc.

Accepting that I will be eating too much 'Frankenfood.' For now, I have accepted protein bars and shakes as a staple of my diet. I also buy precooked chicken, tuna and salmon packets, and raw fruits and vegetables. These, plus Greek yogurt, make up 90 percent of my food choices. Quicker and easier than fast food, and I can store it in my car.

I also have prioritized exercise over housework. My house is not pretty. And I want my house cleaner. But the weight is more important to me right now.

Most importantly, I hope you value who you are and what you are doing. Skinny or fat, you are your family's anchor. You deserve respect, especially from yourself.
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Old 10-13-2012, 01:05 PM   #8
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So, in order to gain weight, you have to be eating more than you burn. Are you tracking the calories of what you eat? Why not just start off tracking that for a few days, just so you can see clearly from where the calories are coming. You'll need to weigh and measure everything. Don't change what you eat yet. Just get a good assessment of what you're eating.

As for wondering what you "should" be feeling about how much weight you've gained, don't compare yourself to anyone else. We feel what we feel. Don't judge the feelings or lack of them. Don't try to wear other people's feelings either. Their experience in life is their own, as your life is your own.

Having said that...you can freak yourself out by looking at that 100 lbs all the time. Change your perspective. Break it down. How do you feel about just losing 5 lbs? Do you think you can do that? Focus only on the 5. Perhaps, after looking at what you eat you might see that you're making some food choices based on stress or lack of time to prepare something healthier for yourself. Figure out alternatives to that poor choice.

I found that I went to fast food whenever I had errands to run. I had to start taking alternate routes while I was running errands so I wouldn't do the drive thru any more. And I started putting small bags of raw almonds in the car. When I get edgy in traffic, I want something to nibble on. I also tended to eat hot meaty, cheesy and carby food when I was really tired but still needed to keep going for a few more hours. This is always in the late afternoon. I'd run to fast food for this again. I figured it took me about half an hour to go get the food and eat it (secretly in the parking lot). So instead, I opted to take a nap for half an hour. I found a quiet spot, set the alarm on my phone and rested. If I was hungry, I ate something, but it was MUCH smaller than a whole fast food meal. I found I had that extra bit of energy to make it through the rest of my day and I felt more relaxed and much less stressed.

Eventually I had to make some much bigger changes. Some were very drastic, things others are not willing to do. But all my choices led to me feeling a heck of a lot better, even though I had to give up feeding my emotions and my exhaustion. Some days (and weeks) I still make the poor choices and I regain some weight. I end up feeling really awful again. I struggle to get back on track, but there's always something that kicks me in my behind and gets me going. I guess because for me, it's more important to feel genuinely good because I have personal goals beyond just losing weight or being there for my family. I am ambitious and I need to LIVE in order to do everything I want to do. So, what do you really want, passionately, that requires you to be healthier? Because that's going to be your motivator.

Believe in yourself! You can do this!
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