It is wonderful that you are so supportive of and present for your friend. My guess is that if she knew you were sacrificing your necessary adoption health plan for her, though, she would probably be upset. It sounds like it would be helpful for you to find some balance -- between caring for your friend and caring for yourself and your child.
We have been waiting for so long for our children to come home and I do not wish this upon anyone. The reasons for our delays are out of our control. You can control your timing to a certain extent, though, by managing your weight. Please don't let anything stand in the way of that. Remember that if this child were coming to you through pregnancy and a doctor told you to stay in bed, you would. It would be tough to not be with your friend, but you would do it. Your situation is so similar. You have been told to reach a healthier weight so you have to do it. Believe me...it will be torture if you have to delay any longer than necessary.
I hope this isn't too harsh. I am just one who knows all too well the heartbreak of waiting for her children.
Started Sonoma Diet 1/9/06. St. Patty's Goal
Started 7/11/05 @ 278
Weight loss to date: 38 lbs.
Program: pure foods, weight lifting, cardio
Body for Life 9/26/05-12/19/05 after about 8 weeks of non BFL lifiting