I didn't want to thread jack linJber's thread about how we handle compliments, but I thought maybe it would be helpful to have a thread where we talked about compliments that made us uncomfortable and compliments that made us feel good.

Here are some of mine -

DON'T

-scream like a banshee when you see me for the first time after I have lost a few pounds. I might not even realize that you are screaming over my weight loss and think you are in some kind of serious pain. Aside from that, I don't enjoy the attention of everyone in the room turning to see the spectacle.

-grab me around the middle or any other "formerly flabby" places and ask where it all went. I don't really enjoy having my problem areas groped by anyone, much less someone I'm not even in a physical relationship with.

-discuss my weight loss with others behind my back, and then tell me how you were all saying how I don't even look like the same person anymore. It's nice that I am unrecognizable to all of you - perhaps next time we all get together I'll wear a badge with my name and social security number so you won't be confused.

-exclaim loudly to me (and everyone else within earshot) when I walk into a room, "What did you do with the rest of you?" or "Where's the rest of you?" In a pickling jar on my night stand. Where else would it be?

-ask me if I am starving myself or if my husband is starving me. Yes, because my husband controls my food intake and I've been way over my maximum daily allowance for the past 5 years.

-Announce loudly, again to me and anyone within earshot, that I've lost "half a person" or a "ton of weight." Yes, I've lost about 1 fully mature elephant's penis. Next subject.

DO

-Tell me I'm looking good, great, healthy.

-Speak to me in a normal tone of voice and not a shout.

-Be discreet about where and in front of whom you are discussing my weight loss - I might not want it pointed out at a professional work conference, in front of strangers, in front of someone who doesn't like me very much, etc. Even though our weight is obvious and outward, it is still a very personal thing.

-Ask me how I lost the weight if you are really interested in knowing the answer. I have no problem giving the short or long version. Many people have given me compliments as an opening to asking how I lost weight, because they are looking for answers to their own weight struggles. I am happy to help if I can.

Anyone else have any dos and donts to share?

"I've lost about 1 fully mature elephant's penis."

rofl... so... how much does a fully mature elephant penis weigh?

about 60lbs! This list below always makes the rounds on here....

How much weight have you lost?

1 pound = a Guinea Pig
1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human’s skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs
16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain
20 pounds = an automobile tire
23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant’s heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant’s penis (yep, weights more than his heart!)
66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she’s 5’11”)
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year
140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4”)
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony

Sheesh! I've lost a newborn calf! Or 2 elephant hearts and a a rack of baby back ribs. Or a 3 gallon tub of ice cream, 2 average 2 year olds, and a sperm whale's brain. And a partridge in a pear tree. What a great list!

But back to your original post. I think all those things you listed in the "don't" list would be embarrassing. I've been very fortunate in that no one that I'm acquainted with has done anything that made me feel awkward or embarrassed. I can't imagine people doing the things you listed! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

There was one slightly embarrassing moment, but it happened at KMart. It's pretty hard to be embarrassed there, really, when you think about it. An elderly woman from my church spotted me from quite a way across the store. We aren't close friends, but are on a first name basis and will chat for a minute or 2 on occasion after church. Apparently I hadn't spoken with her is a while, because from across KMart she shouted (SHOUTED) "I see you're losing weight. Are you sick?" I just shook my head, smiled, and gave her a thumbs up signal. But, she's old. Her filters are worn out. What she thinks in her head comes out of her mouth. How could I really be angry with her concern? And since I didn't shout back, I have to assume most people in the store that heard her didn't know who she was shouting at. As I think back, it was pretty funny. She said what others might have been thinking.

Lin

I'm so close to that elephant penis that I can taste it!



(Sorry, couldn't help it!)

ROFL @UNDERWATER!!
So far I haven't been embarrassed as far as weight loss goes... well, maybe when my mom's friend said "OMG Tiffany, you've lost so much weight, those jeans are way too big for you!" I only own 2 pairs of jeans and now I have only been wearing 1 since the comment about my other pair! Lol I will be excited when I am comfortably a size smaller, at this point my jesns fit in a strange way but I need to lose 10-20 more before I can fit in an 18/20 (depends on the brand). I enjoyed that comment she made though! Someone noticing makes me happy.

so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that...

I haven't gotten too many horrible things... yet, lol. Going to see some family I havent seen in two years this weekend and I'll report back, LOL.

About 60/65 lbs down I got "You look so much better... do you have something wrong with you?"

Yes. Yes I do. I liked food way way to much, lol. Stupid woman. I also heard through the grapevine that she was convinced I was sick, LOL. Nutcase..

ETA: I've lost a 2 month old horse and a Chihuahua!!

I loved using the "elephant penis" one, since 60 pounds down is when a lot of people started asking me how much I'd lost.

I was surprised the first time a friend said she was worried I might be ill. It had never occurred to me that people would think that, but it's not unreasonable since I've been heavy most of my life.

I enjoy the "you look great" compliments, but the "you look like a different person" remarks make me feel a little bad, even though I know that's not the intention.

I think we all tend to think of steady weight loss as a possible sign of illness, so I try to say something that will let others know I'm well as shown below:

"Gee, Lin - you look great. You look like you've lost a lot of weight."
Translation - "I hope you aren't sick but I don't want to come out and ask."

"Thanks for noticing. I've been eating better and going to a gym."
Translation - "I'm not sick. I'm just taking care of myself like I should have been all along."

Lin