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a vent about diets (in general, not a specific one)

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Old 08-04-2012, 03:15 PM   #1
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Default a vent about diets (in general, not a specific one)

There has been something that has bothered me my entire life. And now, since starting on my new lifestyle and maintaining my lifestyle for 20 months, I feel even more strongly about. Please feel free to add your thoughts, agree or disagree, but especially if you disagree, please detail WHY, as I am interested in understanding the flip side. I also understand that I can be all over the place, so if anyone wants me to clarify/add details PLEASE don't be shy!

Diets don't work! I am so tired of people telling me "Blah, blah, blah...try this diet. It works!" OR "Once you lose the weight are you going to stop your diet/eat normal?" OR "Is your diet ACTUALLY healthy?"

I want to tell all these people to go jump off a cliff!

In my opinion, diets don't work. Because, TO ME, diets have a definite start and end point. People may, as I have, taken a "diet" and use it as a starting point, but 20 months into my journey, I don't feel like I'm on a diet. I feel like this is how I eat and always will eat.

Next, my answer is NO! Why the #@$% would I stop doing something once I get to my goal? My lifetime goal is to lose weight once. Then maintain. Yes, I understand there is a weight range, and sometimes I may need to tighten up, but in general, I am not going to spend all of this time and energy, losing this weight, working out, to get to 159 pounds to then "stop my diet." That just sounds stupid to me.

And finally, most people in the world would (and reasonable so) rip my diet to shreds. I only eat once per day. I eat gluten free, without a "Dr.'s note". I eat a couple hundred calories of "empty calories" a day. BUT, I make sure I get fruits and veggies. I drink lots of water. I don't drink "empty calories", I make sure I get some food from each food group each day. I count my calories. So, overall, I don't feel like I eat horrible.

(Oh, and please note the sarcasm in the next statement)

To the people who ask me "Is your diet healthy?" I say this...

If you want me to go back to being 350 pounds, not being able to breathe at night. Not fitting into cars, planes, restaurant booths, etc., I would be more than happy to do that for you. But I will fully expect you to pay for my food bill. Because what I used to eat in ONE day is fricking expensive!

Yes, the below is a relatively typical day. I would say 5 days a week I ate like this. And its embarrassing to put this out there, but for me, it's part of the healing process:

Breakfast #1: Starbucks: Venti mocha frap, 2 slices of bread. ($12)
Breakfast #2: McDonald's: 2 Southern Chicken biscuits with cheese, 2 hash browns, large OJ, and 2 cinnamon rolls. ($12)
Lunch: Weinersnichel: 2 corn dogs, large fries, large vanilla shake. ($7)
Snack #1: Jack in the Box: Double cheeseburger (no mayo), large curly fry, large strawberry smoothie, 2 tacos, large order of mozzarella sticks, large order of egg rolls. ($20)
Dinner: 8pc boneless wings, 8pc cheese stick (extra pizza sauce), 1 large pizza, 1/2 order of chocolate bread sticks or 2 dessert pizzas (depending on if I had delivery from Pizza Hut or Papa Johns) ($25 for exactly what is listed, I would get a meal deal and eat about 1/2 of it, and with tip and delivery, it would be around $50 )
Snack #2: 1/2 gallon of ice cream, whole bag of Cheetos, whole package of cookies, and whatever other little "treats" end up in my basket ($20).

12,000+ calories PER DAY and around $80-$100 a DAY of food!

My view on this source of frustration is this:

If whatever "diet" you pick, you can't do FOREVER, its not worth wasting your time. Habits HAVE to change. I know I will never be perfect, but I strive for that because I feel, physically and mentally, like h*ll if I don't.

But I have questions: Will this "anger" with people subside as I get more time under my belt? Or is this just part of the "new me"? Why do people who love/care about me feel the need to sabotage me when I am ALWAYS thisclose to sabotaging myself and having to fight through EVERY STINKING MINUTE?

Anyone else like to throw their .02 in??? Hopefully I will have some conversations to have once I get back from my 7 mile run!

Last edited by ikesgirl80 : 08-04-2012 at 07:10 PM.
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Old 08-04-2012, 04:11 PM   #2
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It does bug me when people ask if I'm still following my "diet" followed by a "good for you", or "keep it up". I'm doing it for myself and my future children. I calorie count, so I can eat what I want, just have to account for it.
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Old 08-04-2012, 04:27 PM   #3
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You make a very good point that eating unhealthily can be expensive! I realize how much I was spending on $3.99 packs of chocolate chip cookies, twice a week, plus the odd bag of $2.99 potato chips. Now I spend the money on fruit, yogurt, and other good foods.

Congratulations on your journey towards better health. Like you, I have to make changes for life, not just while "on a diet" (whatever that means!). Best wishes.

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Old 08-04-2012, 04:39 PM   #4
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there's many fad diets out there promising you that if you take this pill or this supplement, that you'll lose 30 lbs per month.
my mother's doing that right now. she has a really bad relationship with food. she sleep-eats (literally has woken up and realized she had something in her mouth), binge eats, doesn't eat at all sometimes, etc.

so to get back to my original point, when she told me she was starting this new fad diet pill to lose 30 lbs in a month, i told her flat out, "mom, you have to get your eating habits under control to truly start losing the weight and keeping it off."

it's a lifestyle change. not a "quick fix."
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Old 08-04-2012, 04:41 PM   #5
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I understand what you mean and I've only been at this a month. My family is all big eaters and they say "you aren't eating enough, you are starving yourself." I just cannot get through that I'm eating only what I NEED.

It's not an easy process and even *helpful* advice can be hurtful.

I think your anger will get better. You are still in emotional pain from the changes you are making and you are triggering on the comments. That's normal when recovering from any kind of abuse (self-abuse included), and as your boundaries shift. You'll find your healthy place eventually and it'll all fall into place

(I hope this is helpful for you)
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Old 08-04-2012, 04:58 PM   #6
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I recently got the fifth degree from a coworker who decided to announce in the hallway in front of everyone her immense concern for me and my drastic weight loss. First of all, I have restarted this journey of weight loss about 5 months ago. Since then, I have lost about 27 pounds. So a little over 5 pounds a month. WHOA!!!! Crikey! That is drastic! (sarcasm). And then she proceeded to tell me I look a bit "gaunt" in the face, and she was concerned I was not doing this in a healthy way. All this from the one who recently had to bail on work responsibilities for some combination of mental and physical health issues, and returned about 15 pounds lighter (not healthy weight loss, either). So I understand your post completely. If people concentrated on their own issues as hard as they have on mine, they would be a lot better off. I don't think people like it when others decide to do something good for their health, because it points out how much of a slacker they really are. And for some reason, people seem endlessly fascinated with what I put in my mouth at any given time. Either they are telling me I need to eat more, or they are chastising me for having a piece of chocolate. I will never get it. And I don't think I will ever be more tolerant of their stupid comments. But luckily I have a big mouth and I say what I feel, even if that includes a smartass comment. When my coworker started in about how thin I was, I pulled up my shirt and let my belly flab out, jiggling it around while saying "Well does this make you feel better?" Then I proceeded to shake my bat wing, repeating the same thing to her. She got the point.
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Old 08-04-2012, 06:59 PM   #7
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Ikes, fabulous post, and I'm in complete agreement with you. I suspect that the popularity of so-called "reality" TV makes people think (oops, not much thinking involved) that the whole world is on display and open for, and receptive to, their meaningless opinions. You have made the change. Those around you will fight it because it's different. It becomes easier to ignore them with time. Go, you!
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Old 08-04-2012, 07:06 PM   #8
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Back from my run. 7 miles in 1h28m15s Not my best run ever, but I'm struggling with gastrointestinal issues, or the lack there of today

Thank you for all your posts. It feels good to have "normal" feelings, and not over-reacting. Like Ciao, my mom does that too, luckily she lives 1500 miles away, so I only have to deal with that 3-4 times a year.

Most of the flack I get is from family on facebook. Because I live so far away from most of my family I share a lot on there. And one particular family member and one particular ex-co-worker have been the ones pushing my buttons lately.

In a way I understand. I've become a very different person over the past year and a half, and they are not used to me having a voice. I too am not used to me having a voice, so I do acknowledge that some things I say may come off "whiny", but the posts that they are commenting on are me saying positive things!

These two people are pretty skinny, and I can't think of any way that I could be a threat to them. I mean one is my 60-ish year old aunt and the other is happily married, new-ish baby (about 1 yr?), she just got job that she wants, etc..

Is it possible that when they knew me and I was fatter, they took comfort in "helping" me, and now that I am doing it without them they are jealous? Or did they just see me as the fat girl before, but now 130 pounds lighter, they for whatever reason think I am too hot and sexy? It's entirely likely I am reading far too much into this...

O'well.... Off to make dinner... Who knew running 7 miles would make you hungry??? lol
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Old 08-04-2012, 08:08 PM   #9
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Ikesgirl, it sounds like you are accomplishing something really important. Congratulations and keep up the good work.

I continue to be astounded at how free people feel to make comments about another person's weight, diet etc. It is possible that they really do mean well, but sometimes I'm not so sure. FWIW, I think this behavior is extremely rude and dismissive to you as a person.

I don't have any advice except to keep on doing what you are doing and be proud, be very proud. Run seven miles? Nothing to it for you. I'm envious of your strength.
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Old 08-04-2012, 08:21 PM   #10
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Ikes, I have to agree with you. What you were doing was so unhealthy for you. Good for you for making changes and taking care of yourself! I was wondering today about all the diets and WHO exactly makes the rules? Do people just get together and vote on diet stupidity? I alwasys hate it when someone says , "sorry, I can't eat that, I'm on a diet."

When does dieting end and living begin? Why not do what works for you? I spoke with a nutritionist the other day who told me carb counting is the ONLY way to manage your weight and lose weight. When I told her it was too complicated for me, she looked at me like I was some kind of alien.

Hey, I get that it works for a lot of people, but I'm so ditzy and scatter brained, sometimes I forget if I am going to lunch or coming FROM lunch and she thinks I can remember my carb counts? Is she for real? I say if it works for you and your weight loss and it is mostly healthy, then go for it!

I do have a couple of questions for you. Were you always a runner or did you become a runner? And how does "eating once a day" work? I've never heard of that weight loss option.

Anyway, keep up the good work!
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Old 08-04-2012, 08:58 PM   #11
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I think you should do what works for you. If you're hungry once a day and eat once a day, that's your business. Sometimes, I take in all my food before 6pm. I find myself hungrier during the early part of the day, eat a 'large' meal around 2pm, and then just a little something around 6 ish. And I'm really fine until the morning. Other days, I eat more equal meals 3 x a day. I don't eat (much) junk food, and if I do cave, or forget the damage it does to me, I get right back to my healthy behaviors next meal.

The problem is that every 'trainer' and 'weight loss' expert has their own take on what to do, and makes a lot of money from people trying desperately to lose weight (i.e. fat).

Another problem is that during this process of getting healthy, we usually would like some support, which involves 'talking' with others. Others very often have their own take on what will and will not work, and instead of being supportive, that can derail us if we're not strong in our convictions.

You probably have become a 'different' person...how could you not, after taking the bull by the horns and making your life what you want it to be? That's a good thing. Some folks may be uncomfortable with this, because you play some role in their psyche that depended upon who you were all those pounds back then. Too bad. Don't spend too much time trying to figure it out, because ultimately it doesn't matter what's their issue, because it's their issues.

Like the song says...'go your own way' Enjoy your new lifestyle. Every minute of it
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Old 08-04-2012, 09:32 PM   #12
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I used to weigh 247 pounds and it was a "diet" that removed that weight and kept most of it off for pretty much two decades, so in that sense I disagree with you. My "diet" is ALWAYS counting calories, eating low glycemic for the most part and exercising daily.

But I define "diet" as a planned, controlled way of eating, and that can be a formal "diet" plan (I learned about low glycemic eating from the old Sugar Busters "diet" and it was a blessing, South Beach is similar, but now I just follow low glycemic principles except when sort of "off" the way of eating) or a way of eating we follow on our own that works for us.

So to me, I am always on the diet because it is my way of eating and managing my weight. I will always want to manage my weight and will never be off the "diet" until I am six feet under.

To me, even though I disagree that "diets" don't work, I think whatever works for us to manage weight IS a diet. People define "diet" in different ways. What does it matter and honestly in the face of your fantastic success, why be angry at people who don't get it.

You are doing great. I think anger may come along with losing weight. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs in a major weight loss. It takes time to sort it all out.

So hope your anger subsides. Not sure what you mean by that or who you are angry at but you are awesome and congratulations. Hugs.
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Old 08-04-2012, 10:37 PM   #13
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First thank you everyone for contributing to the conversation/issue of mine

Quote:
Originally Posted by gailr42 View Post
I don't have any advice except to keep on doing what you are doing and be proud, be very proud. Run seven miles? Nothing to it for you. I'm envious of your strength.
Don't be too envious yet! It's pretty slow, but thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 5yearscancerfree View Post
Hey, I get that it works for a lot of people, but I'm so ditzy and scatter brained, sometimes I forget if I am going to lunch or coming FROM lunch and she thinks I can remember my carb counts? Is she for real? I say if it works for you and your weight loss and it is mostly healthy, then go for it!

I do have a couple of questions for you. Were you always a runner or did you become a runner? And how does "eating once a day" work? I've never heard of that weight loss option.

Anyway, keep up the good work!
I'm exactly like that! That is part of the reason I eat only once per day. Between my memory and my abiltity to con myself into thinking almost anything, I do better counting calories once per day. Bam. I'm done.

I decided one day last March that I was a runner. I hate all forms of exercise. I much prefer to sit on my @ss and do nothing, so I decided that since I didn't naturally like anything, I was going to pick something and become good at it. Why I picked running when I have never ran more than 1/8 of a mile in my entire life? I don't know. Maybe when I can afford therapy, I will find out! lol When that day comes, I promise I'll share!

The basis for my eating is around the book "The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet" by Dr. Heller and Heller. Although it is a diet, so it sounds like I am contradicting myself,(see my next comments for more on this), I have modified it so much, that I sometimes feel bad saying I use it. I started with it, then subtracted 2 meals, then added gluten free, then added calorie counting, and now I am adding more natural foods and taking out some of the junk. I don't recommend eating once per day for most people, but my IR was so out of wack and pills were not helping, so I went a bit extreme.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Amarantha2 View Post
I used to weigh 247 pounds and it was a "diet" that removed that weight and kept most of it off for pretty much two decades, so in that sense I disagree with you. My "diet" is ALWAYS counting calories, eating low glycemic for the most part and exercising daily.

But I define "diet" as a planned, controlled way of eating, and that can be a formal "diet" plan (I learned about low glycemic eating from the old Sugar Busters "diet" and it was a blessing, South Beach is similar, but now I just follow low glycemic principles except when sort of "off" the way of eating) or a way of eating we follow on our own that works for us.

So to me, I am always on the diet because it is my way of eating and managing my weight. I will always want to manage my weight and will never be off the "diet" until I am six feet under.

To me, even though I disagree that "diets" don't work, I think whatever works for us to manage weight IS a diet. People define "diet" in different ways. What does it matter and honestly in the face of your fantastic success, why be angry at people who don't get it.

You are doing great. I think anger may come along with losing weight. There are a lot of emotional ups and downs in a major weight loss. It takes time to sort it all out.

So hope your anger subsides. Not sure what you mean by that or who you are angry at but you are awesome and congratulations. Hugs.
In many ways I agree with you, and that is my struggle. Lots of people ask me what my diet is, and part of me wants to answer "The Carbohydrate Addict's Diet" because I used that as the basis (See above). So I am on a diet. But I have a hard time calling what I do a diet because I intend on eating the way I do forever, no matter what, so I feel this isn't a diet, but just how I eat. But I guess that is a diet. I guess this is just a chicken or the egg argument?

I am not angry at any person in particular. I think that its when people say things like, "you shouldn't weigh yourself everyday. It's bad for you. But you have lost so much weight, you must know what you are doing. But in case you ever want to not drive yourself crazy, you know what you need to do." While that isn't a direct quote, its pretty close, and more than one person has said this too me. The weirdest part to me, was it was over a post (fb) celebrating being the lightest I've been in 15 years! I like to use other people to justify my eating, so technically, I am angry at these people for raining on my parade, and myself for letting them get to me.
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Old 08-04-2012, 10:56 PM   #14
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As long as you're eating nutritionally sound, who cares, if you eat once a day or, like me you eat non stop? I don't.

You run, I lift weights. Running works for you, lifting works for me.

My husband recently told me that his mother thinks I look gaunt and pale and to skinny.

I am 52 years old, 5;5", I weigh between, 137 and 139. I can dead lift my body weight, I can do chin ups, I do step ups with 50 pounds of weight. I do basically eat non stop all day, small meals and snacks, it's a blood sugar issue.

My plan works for me. My blood work is good, my blood pressure is good, I'm strong and I feel good. So, everyone else can kiss my grass!

One thing I've come to realize, is that as the world has gotten heavier, most folks, don't realize, what healthy eating is, or what a healthy body really looks like.
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Old 08-04-2012, 11:36 PM   #15
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di·et/ˈdī-it/
Noun:
The kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats.


Technically speaking, we're all on diets, because we're all eating something. We all know the word "diet" implies and you've already stated what it means to you, but don't get caught up in labels or let them get to you. It's pointless to get worked up when others ask about your way of eating or to get angry over assumptions in general.

I've reached the point where I don't give a crap about what others say about my weight. Seriously. Life's too short to get worked up over people getting upset over a supposed change in the status quo. If people give me unsolicited advice or criticize my methods? Whatever. I know what works for me.
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