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Struggling with the gym...

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Old 07-20-2012, 10:44 PM   #1
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Default Struggling with the gym...

So, I have been doing a great job with my diet, but I am having such a hard time making it to they gym. I have a membership to a 24/7 gym. I belonged to it before I had kids, and it worked great for me. I used to have a terrible time sleeping, so I would go to the gym late at night. Now, I am wanting to be in bed by 11:30. I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old. My days consist of being a stay at home mom to my boys and trying to stay on top of the housework, laundry, and bills. My husband is a restaurant manager and doesn't get home until super late (ex. tonight he will be home around 12:30 am). He leaves every day between 9:00-9:30 am. He tries so hard to help me when he can with the kids, but mornings are tough. He is so supportive and I love him, but there is only so much I can count on him for. I HATE going to the gym when it is super busy. I am just really struggling with it. I am SO shy and self conscious. Part of the reason I decided to start losing weight is because I avoid people and places due to my weight. A crowded gym is my worst nightmare! Any tips or tricks someone can offer me?!? I know that I could be doing even better, and that is will help my body bounce back better from being so over weight for so long. I just have to figure out something that works better for me. Any input from women in a similar situation and how you balance it, please let me know! I would really appreciate it
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Last edited by AudreyL : 07-20-2012 at 10:50 PM.
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Old 07-20-2012, 11:02 PM   #2
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Is there a reason you really want to use a gym?

For each month of a gym membership, you could get 2-3 workout videos, or a video and a set of resistance bands, or an exercise ball, or etc, that would allow you to work out at home. The gym might not be a great fit for you now, but there are other options to exercise and lose weight.
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Old 07-20-2012, 11:10 PM   #3
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I'm sorry I don't have a similar situation. It seems I have plenty of time to work out. But I did have to get over my anxiety when I returned to the gym this time. I don't know how I did it, but I kept telling myself that the gym is the place where fat people go. So if fat people can't exercise at the gym, then where can they go? And eventually I decided that the decision to run and not give a crap about how much my butt jiggled was a good one. Because I wanted my butt not to do that some day. And it's getting better. Now I will walk right up to the burliest man and politely ask him to move so I can use his bench to knock out a set. And I consider all of the equipment mine to use just as much as the next sweaty doofus. If he wants to watch my big flat butt while I lift, then good for him. I no longer care.
So I hope you get a solution to your time issue, but I wanted to provide a little motivation to not be so concerned about lots of people in the gym. Because everybody has those hangups. And it shouldn't keep you from living your life the best you can!
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Old 07-20-2012, 11:35 PM   #4
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The idea behind joining a gym was that I would get "me" time, which I am in desperate need of. I am in the house by myself with the kids most days of the week. I wanted to give myself the opportunity to have somewhere to go that was just for and about me. I am just having a hard time to find that time for me. It is very frustrating. I like the idea of thinking of the gym as a place for fat people to go. That is how I see myself. I try desperately to only think about myself positively, but the truth of the matter is I am fat. I have 30 lbs less fat than I did 2 months and 20 days ago , but I am still fat. It is getting over that state of mind that is difficult. Before April, I avoided going almost anywhere with people. Maybe I need to force myself to skip the sleep and go at night as soon as my husband gets home until my weight is down enough for me to feel comfortable going in the morning.
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Old 07-21-2012, 12:48 AM   #5
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I love going to the gym, and I'm quite a bit fatter than you are. And I am not insulting myself when I say that. Being fat is not a moral failing any more than having brown hair is a moral failing. I could dye my hair red or purple. I could lose about another 100 pounds. But I don't have to do either to make myself a kind, hardworking mother who is also a competent professional. First rant down.

I divide the gym into two kinds of people in my mind. The first group are the poor saps who have nothing better going for them beyond their gym rat physiques. They all live in their mothers' basements and will never gain decent employment or develop decent relationships. This is the group that might be inclined to make fun of me for working hard to improve my health. (It doesn't matter that probably none of those people would fit my mental description of them. If they want to judge me based on a single characteristic, I will make unfair assumptions about them.) From my experience, only about 2% of gym dwellers are these kind of bottom feeders.

The other group is the group that is cheering for me. They are the ones who are also struggling with weight, or who have successfully lost weight and are working to keep it off. They might be the ones who have never struggled with their own personal weight, but they see me as their daughter or sister or wife or friend who they are encouraging to get healthier. They are rooting for me, and will happily explain to me the proper form for a deadlift if I just ask, or laugh with me as I fall off the Swiss ball yet again as I attempt a jack knife. There's a blog post that I will try to link. If it gets removed, just Google "Hey Fat Girl and Flintland." I loved it, and I think you will as well. http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html

Good luck conquering the fear of the gym. And please, try not to let your weight stop you from living your life. If your best friend weighed what you weigh, would you encourage her to be a hermit? Of course not.
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Old 07-21-2012, 10:03 AM   #6
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Audrey - go back and read LaurieDawns post again. Then print out a couple of copies of the blog post she suggested. Keep one copy in the house where you can read it when you need a little encouragement. Keep another in the car to read right before going into the gym!
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Old 07-21-2012, 03:55 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mandalinn82 View Post
Is there a reason you really want to use a gym?

For each month of a gym membership, you could get 2-3 workout videos, or a video and a set of resistance bands, or an exercise ball, or etc, that would allow you to work out at home. The gym might not be a great fit for you now, but there are other options to exercise and lose weight.
I agree with this! I don't work out at a gym. I do it at home. I am also a stay at home mom and it works great for me! I have my exercise videos to work out to. It has brought me from 294 to 286 in 7 days. I don't work out for hours at a time. Most of them are 30 minutes since there are so many fitness programs now hyping only 30 minute workouts. If you do want to go to the gym, try it early in the morning. I assume they have babysitting there. I used to have a gym membership when I was much heavier but I wasn't using it so I quit but I had no problem going there when I did go there lol. Early morning and do the workouts that you like and are comfortable for you. That's the best advice I have. Good luck and let us know how you are doing!
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:44 PM   #8
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I started going to a gym at my highest weight and while when I first walked in the door I was pretty terrified, I have never had a bad experience. In fact, I have had numerous people come up to me and compliment me on my hard work.

One question I ask myself is if I am self conscious because of my weight, or is being so self conscious part of what contributed to me getting to the weight I did. There is so much shame attached to weight and I know that I have spent so many years feeling badly about myself and my body instead of feeling good and really taking care of myself. I am so much more motivated to do good things when I feel good - when I don't feel ashamed of who I am.

Weight loss is both a physical journey and a mental one too. You can look at going to the gym not only as a workout for your body, but a workout for your confidence. In the same way muscles need to be used to be strengthened so do many other parts of ourselves.
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Old 07-21-2012, 04:55 PM   #9
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Join zumba classes in the gym, you would luv them.any group class is better than doing it alone. If it is too much for you, then come out after 20-30minutes and do your own things. Try to introduce some fun. By the way, nobody judges you because of your size. And you are a tall girl, you look good and you will look better and better if you go to gym regularly.
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Old 07-21-2012, 08:01 PM   #10
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A crowded gym is my worst nightmare too! I'm not really into group exercise or actually personal interaction when I'm sweaty and gross. And I can certainly imagine the necessity of some "me" time for you. I have a couple of ideas.

1.) The workout video thing. This may not work if you were looking for "me" time but it is better than nothing. If you don't feel up to going to the gym, you can force yourself to do something in from of the tv for half an hour. Just half an hour and then you can go to bed... or move on to some other task. The reason why workout videos are great is that they help you make sure you get your work out in even when your best laid plans fall apart. You don't have to make them your main workout, you can just use them as a back up.

2.) If you have access to childcare during the day, the late morning (10a.m onwards) to early afternoon (2-4pm) hours are great at the gym, almost as great as the midnight hours. They're usually almost empty or if there are people there, they're on the more unthreateningly fit end of the spectrum. It doesn't have to be everyday, and I can imagine this could be challenging having two little kids but it might be something to consider. Maybe 2 days of gym, 2 days of home workouts?

Anyway don't beat yourself up about it too much. Keep your food on track, get what exercise you can in, even if it's taking a walk with the kiddies, marching in place, stretching, whatever you can do. Keep thinking about ways to make it happen, you'll get there.
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Old 07-22-2012, 04:18 PM   #11
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I used to walk with my children and sing to them. I agree, the gym can be intimidating for me also. Yesterday I almost didnt go to the gym because of my self consciousness and fear of shame from others. While I was at the gym I turned around and realized that no one was looking at me badly but me. Love the videos too. There are some iphone apps that can give u suggestions for routines too.
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Old 07-22-2012, 04:24 PM   #12
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Thank you for the link. It made me smile I used to never see myself as "fat" even though I was. I never used to show that I worried about what other people thought. I realized in recent years that my childhood really affected my self esteem. For some reason it all dropped drastically when I became a mom and began staying home with my sons. I used to have quite a few friends, worked two jobs, and had a very active life, even being fat. Then my husband got the big promotion we both had been waiting for, we started a family, and it all changed. I know that to be successful at this I have to change a lot more than just the way I eat. I need to do this not only for me, but for my husband and children. I am working on it. I stopped focusing on everything I hate about myself and began focusing on things I like and even love. I went and had a complete check up after giving birth to my son to make sure I would be as successful as possible. I changed all of our eating habits, and I went back on my meds (I have an anxiety disorder and OCD). I feel great over all. It is just that damn gym. I went twice and felt incredible after, but then life got in the way. I think I am going to start going at night again, and just miss on the sleep I love so much. Tonight my husband should be home around 11 pm or so, and I am going to make sure I am ready to walk out the door when he gets here. I also saw a thing on pinterest.com that was a workout tip jar. For every workout you put in $1, and work towards a reward. I rarely do anything special for myself, so I am going to use it to work toward a reward. I am just not sure what I want yet! Lol!
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