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Old 06-28-2012, 03:09 PM   #1
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Default Insults just killed me yesterday !

Oh my goodness ! Yesterday was the worse day I have had in a long time . I have a male friend at the gym that told me my belly wiggled when I walked and that I grunt because I have a belly and I should not be bragging about how much weight I have lost because people would be saying that I need to loose alot more. I do have a belly! however, I do not brag about the weight that I have lost because this is crazy but I dont want people that dont know me to ever think I had let myself get sooo out of control . I dont think I have ever been knocked down so hard . I am already at a stand still with my weight and cannot seem to get things moving which is really getting me down and now someone makes these remarks to my face. I am crying my eyes out right now and I am a grown woman .

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Old 06-28-2012, 03:17 PM   #2
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I'm sure you know this, but that is NOT a good friend. A friend isn't someone that puts you down so easily. I'm sure that male friend has lots of flaws that he wouldn't want pointed out. I say ignore what he said. Keep your eyes on the prize, and keep going! You can do it. I started at 250, and I am now 110 and your height! If I did it, you can. I used to run outside on a sidewalk off a busy street where cars would pass me by every single day. I just put my headphones on, listened to my jams, and said "To heck what others think!" A year later, I'm exactly where I wanted to be, and I'm glad I didn't let anyone make me believe that I was gross, disgusting, jiggly, and that I couldn't do it. Because I DID! And I know you can too!
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Old 06-28-2012, 03:33 PM   #3
One day at a time!
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People like that inspired the saying "With friends like that who needs enemies" I know that it hurt but please try to put it aside. You are doing great!

Persistence is more important than Perfection

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. - Winston Churchill
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Old 06-28-2012, 03:36 PM   #4
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I think you should start that sentence with "There an a$$ who I am wonderful enough to be nice to, in spite of his lack of a soul" He sounds like a mean, unhappy person, and you would be doing yourself a favor to not open yourself up to his vitriol anymore!

You should be insanely proud of how far you've come! You have lost 81 freaking pounds! I don't care if you fly a flag behind your car saying that, you earned it!

Just go and do your thing at the gym, don't worry what he thinks, and celebrate yourself!!!
1st mini goal - 5% - 266lbs
2nd mini goal - 10% - 253lbs
3rd mini goal - 50lbs lost - 235lbs
4th mini goal - One-derland! 199

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Old 06-28-2012, 03:42 PM   #5
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Wow, what a jerk. I wonder if he is feeling threatened by your weight loss. I wonder if he is concerned that you will now think you deserve better friends than him. Well, you do!
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Old 06-28-2012, 03:48 PM   #6
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I would.. De-friend him, and not bother telling him why, and let him figure it out

Till I hit mini goal!!!
Mini goal #1 200 getting back to onederland!
Mini goal #2 175 lower bmi range
Mini goal #3 160
Final goal !!! 145
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Old 06-28-2012, 03:50 PM   #7
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He doesn't sound like much of a friend...has he always said things like this to you? You've got a combination of frustration at your 'standstill' and his non-constructive criticism. BUT, really, you are in charge of how much credence you are going to give this guy and how you respond to it. You are a grown woman, so don't give him so much control....You are the only one who can knock you down.

This too shall pass
Nothing needs fixing
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Old 06-28-2012, 03:54 PM   #8
There is no try.
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Default re:

I didn't even know what to write after reading that. Real friends don't put you down like that.

It blows my mind really that we're d$^%*d if we do and d*&*%d if we don't. People complain when big people DON'T go to the gym and the same people complain about big people AT the gym doing something about it.

You've lost a fantastic amount of weight and it is something to be proud of! I wonder if he thinks you're bragging because maybe people are really starting to ask you about it around him?

*edited my swearing out!

High - 281
Current - 252
Low - 159 (2012)

Last edited by Vex; 06-28-2012 at 03:57 PM.
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Old 06-28-2012, 03:56 PM   #9
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I'm not generally much in favor of defriending people over a single incident, but I think I could make an exception to that rule in this case. Anyone who says something like that is seriously lacking in either friend skills or friend commitment. Neither is one that you want.

One additional comment... every day you are walking around 81 lbs lighter than you used to be is a victory in your weight loss and health agenda. New losses will come... maintaining that 81 lb loss is a tangible, proven success every single day you do it.


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Old 06-28-2012, 03:57 PM   #10
I got this
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A male "friend"- he isn't much of a friend. He might mean well but seriously, that is just downright rude. Easier said than done but ignore him! You have done fantastically with 80+lbs gone! You WILL get through this.

If that were me, I'd have been a huge b^%tch to him telling him off in front of everyone, "wow I cant believe you actually said that out loud. how embarrassing for you!" in a LOUD voice.
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Old 06-28-2012, 04:27 PM   #11
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Yea, he doesn't seem like a very supportive friend at all. Is this friend struggling with his own weight issues? Not that that is an excuse AT ALL but sometimes that's where these hurtful insults can stem from. I have a "friend" who is normally a pretty good friend-except when it comes to my weight loss. She has said some pretty cruel things to me in regards to losing weight but I know its because she's really struggling with her weight and gets jealous that I'm losing. Some times its just a reflection of that person's own low self esteem and nothing to do with you. You have done an amazing job! You should be very proud of your weight loss!

Last edited by NYFLAgirl; 06-28-2012 at 04:28 PM.
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Old 06-28-2012, 04:50 PM   #12
Waddle fast Flap hard FLY
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Good for you for not hitting him over the head with a dumbbell!

Ignore him! Don't take what he says seriously. Just because he said it doesn't make it true. Only you can define yourself!

On the internet no one knows you are typing with your beak.

An exercise in futility still counts as exercise!!

"There's a pattern to the randomness!" ~ Artie ~ Warehouse 13

"That's the only break you get, so I hope you enjoyed it" ~~Cathe, STS, Meso 2

"Weakness is hard, but weakness doesn't have to mean defeat!" ~ Lysa TerKeurst
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Old 06-28-2012, 04:53 PM   #13
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I'm so sorry that happened to you. BE PROUD of what you've accomplished!!! 81 pounds is amazing and clearly you're working out, which is awesome. Perhaps he's jealous of what you've been able to do...People can be so nasty. UGH. to you.
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Old 06-28-2012, 05:03 PM   #14
it's a fine day
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Like everybody said he doesn't sound like a friend.
I would personally jiggle my belly in front of him till he got dizzy and I would grunt and brag till I was red in the face.
Come on, you know you are above this! You've achieved so much!

Anima sana in corpore sano
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Old 06-28-2012, 05:38 PM   #15
Move over Kim Kardashian!
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See... the thing with boys -- and I say boys, not men, is that they assume what they're doing is constructive criticism.

My twin brother used to do that until I told him off

. Now there's two ways you can go about this:
1) either tell him to f^&$ off and stop talking to him
2) you talk to him calmly and tell him that what he's doing isn't helping and it's hurtful, if he's a friend he should be supporting you and be proud of what you've accomplished so far!

I know I'm proud of you
Goal Weight:

One cheerleader for every 5lb lost!

No Ice Cream!! Shrinking!! Ride a bike!! TAKE MY PIC!!GOALL!!!!

Last edited by caramelkitty; 06-28-2012 at 05:38 PM.
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