I committed myself to lose weight at the beginning of the year in February. During one month, I shed about ten pounds (256ish down to 246ish) and I felt great...and then I went on vacation with partner to Hawaii. I couldn't resist eating what I liked there, and I grew lazy again and stopped exercising as much as I had been. Humiliatingly, I haven't gotten back into it since. From February to now, I've gained nearly twenty pounds - and I've never
been this heavy in my life.
Mostly, I feel ashamed. I don't talk to my partner about my weight because I'm completely humiliated by what I've done. My main problem is that I have a severe addiction to fast food and I crave the worst things. I'll hide food or go out and eat without anyone knowing. When I try to go easy on what I'm eating, I'll feel an uncomfortable rumble in my stomach that seems to radiate up to my chest to the point that I feel like I'm starving -- it's unlike anything I've ever felt before. In short, I'm out of control and I don't know what to do.
I need support. I need to know I can actually change myself. I haven't been below 200 lbs since high school, and I'm miserable. Can I get some advice from anyone who has experienced something similar? I feel like I've hit rock bottom and the depression is only making the problem worse.