now that i'm here, i'm not sure what to write actually. well, i'm 18 years old (19 on april 18th!!!!!
), I'm around 5'5, and I weigh between 225 - 230 pounds
it's not good.
i first went on a diet when i was around 10 years old. that's pretty bad, eh? I've been going up and down ever since. My lowest in 5 years has been 150. I am at my heighest weight ever, and it terrifies me. I'm not even twenty! In total, these last 6 - 7 years, I have probably lost at least 200 pounds, but i've always bounced back, and now I'm faced with my massive physique.
My long term goal is 141 pounds (that's according to a test I did at a gym, which took into consideration my height, muscle mass, fat percentage, etc.) I've always wanted to be at 120 - but you know, right now, 141 sounds excellent
and i just want to be healthy, happy, and feel good about myself.
Right now, I want to get started. I drink plenty of water, I've planned my day so that I get 25 minutes one way (twice/day) walking, and I must focus some of my energies on eating well.
I am looking foward to the entire journey - because with each day that I commit myself, I will be that much healthier, that much thinner, and so much happier.
I'll be going off to university next september, I want to be ready for that. I want to feel confident, proud of my physical self, want to feel attractive. I'm nearly 19, and i've never once been on a date. Not that there's a time frame for relationships, but I've spent life eating away my time in attempt to cope, and i don't want to do that anymore.
i want to replace food, with people. feel joy instead of pain,
contribution rather than loneliness, and hope above despair.
I'll check by here 1-2 times a week, as I can't on a more frequent basis right now, but in the meanwhile, I will be keeping up with my goals. I've realized that I deserve to feel good about myself.
I hope to meet everyone and would love to talk to all of you.
in the meantime, take good care of yourselves!