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I feel like food has such a THROAT hold on me?

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Old 04-25-2012, 09:08 PM   #1
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Default I feel like food has such a THROAT hold on me?

This is making me crazy. After getting to my lowest weight of 185, over two years I have regained 30 ( maybe more-I'm terrified of getting on the scale, was last weighed in Nov of 2011 though and was 215 )

What do I think happened? I got scared, I had never been that small in my adult life. I started getting some attention about my new look, and it freaked me out.

Also, after stalling in the 180's for almost a year, I simply got tired of saying no to ice cream, pizza, and other junk. I thought if I can't eat this stuff, and lose weight, I am simply going to eat this stuff. Oh, how it BACKFIRED. In the amount of 30+ pounds.

Now, I can't seem to STOP eating. I eat until I'm stuffed. I'm so depressed about this. It's like I want to make healthy choices, I want to lose weight and become healthy, I want to look FIT, I want to play with my nieces and nephews and not get winded.

But the food is there, at work, at home, ( I am living with my parents to save money ) and I SNACK while watching tv, or tinkering on the internet.

I always feel disgusted with myself after eating like this, but I feel like it has this hold on me.

God help me. Anyone who has read this to the end, Thank you! Anyone that has any advice to offer, please do. I wish I had more people to talk to that had their health as a priority, but I simply don't.
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Old 04-25-2012, 09:37 PM   #2
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Hi. Welcome back. You know this is the right place to be if you want to regain control.

I know all about regaining. A lot of us do. There's a whole thread for it and everything [url="http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/254951-regainers-relosing-get-off-again-pt-2-a.html"]here[/URL. Come join us for support/venting/encouragement. We all know exactly what you're going through.

Speaking for myself, I got frustrated after getting stuck in the 150s and regained to the tune of 68 pounds. 68! I try not to think about it because I still get down on myself when I think about where I could be right now.

My point is that you're not alone. You've taken the first step by coming back here. Now you have to take the second one.
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Old 04-25-2012, 10:11 PM   #3
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It is sooooo hard to lose weight. Honestly. It is soooo hard. I'm lucky in that I find it easy to maintain my weight but to lose it? SUCH a struggle. So much work.
It's like that old game DON'T THINK OF AN ELEPHANT....and then the more you try not to think of an elephant, the more you think of an elephant LOL.

Lately when I can't seem to stop eating, I try to drink some hot tea. It takes me a while to drink it and puts something in my stomach. At least it slows me down.

Getting out of the house helps too.
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Old 04-26-2012, 12:52 AM   #4
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I think you know this but I am going to say it anyway. In order for you to get a hold of your weight loss, you need to figure out what's holding you back emotionally or it will rear its ugly head again. I suggest spending some time writing your thoughts down in a journal and really facing some of these psychological issues so you don't sabotage yourself again.
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Old 04-26-2012, 04:43 AM   #5
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I have to agree with Goddess Jessica. We all overeat for different reasons. Until we figure out why, we won't get a handle on the situation. Until you figure it out, I'd suggest trying putting off eating for 15 minutes at a time. Take it in small steps that way. You obviously know HOW to lose weight because you lost almost 100 pounds. Now you have to learn how to keep it off.

My "ah-ha" moment came when I realized that every thin person I know has some sort of built in check point where they stop eating - this meal, this day, this week. It allows them to eat like crazy - once in a while - and then go back to what is healthy immediately. My DD is an example. She will indulge on special occasions, vacations, etc. If she gains more than 5 pounds, she cuts back until it's gone. My nieces are the same way, as are my brother, my SIL, and my thin friends.

It's hard for those of us who struggle with the pounds to get the concept, I think. If it tastes good, we just keep eating until we're stuffed. For me, that was just about everything - I AM NOT a picky eater! And mindless eating like you described - at the computer, watching TV. My worst place was at my desk at work. I could eat an entire box of snack crackers in an afternoon.

Figure out why you're reluctant to accept compliments. I know - it's safe to be heavy. But we aren't meant to be overweight. We are meant to be fit and healthy and happy. Look deep and face what it is that's holding you back. Stare it down, own it. Then see how much easier it is to be good to yourself and do this. good luck.

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I lost 93 pounds by Oct 1, 2011 and am holding there for now. We'll see what happens.
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Old 04-26-2012, 07:18 AM   #6
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Welcome back.
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Old 04-26-2012, 07:30 AM   #7
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I, too, agree with the goddess. Emotional eating has to be dealt with emotionally.

I'd also take that big step and get out the scale. I know, for me at least, I'd pretend that what I was doing to my body - only ever showed on the scale. If I didn't get on the scale, then it wasn't happening. I think breaking out the scale might help make the connection to the fact that your eating/moving habits help to dictate what the scale says. At least that is what happens in MY head.
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Old 04-26-2012, 07:54 PM   #8
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I so get this......I definitely admit I am powerless over food.
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