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Stretch Mark Heartbreak

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Old 04-11-2012, 09:44 AM   #1
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Default Stretch Mark Heartbreak

I have lost 60+ lbs and I still need to lose another 60-70 before I will be at a happy weight. However, I guess I have been fooling myself for the past few years about what was going to happen when I hit the weight I wanted.

I know that I am going to have excess skin (that will need to be surgically removed). I have been over weight for too long (since puberty) for my skin to really snap back effectively. However, as I was changing last night and I glanced in the mirror in my room and froze in horror.

I never realized how riddled with stretch marks I am. I knew I had them, how could I not know when, even in HS in the locker room girls would ask me what they were or what happened. But I thought they were mainly on my chest, shoulders and stomach. Yesterday, I got a good look at my sides and back.

My skin is, essentially, nothing but a patch work of stretch marks and I am heartbroken about it. It is silly and I knew that once I lost weight, I wasn't going to magically have amazing flawless skin but I never imagined it would be so bad. I guess I have been deceiving myself for a long time about how bad they really were and what losing weight will do to my skin.

In the end, I cried myself to sleep because it kinda dashed my dreams of being society pretty. Yea yea, stupid I couldn't help how I felt.

It is just another hurdle and obstacle to climb over and around. It will make me better in the end to accept it but I am wondering if other people have encountered this disappointment. How they accepted it or adjusted to it?

Thanks!
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Old 04-11-2012, 10:00 AM   #2
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One of my biggest excuses for not losing weight was becasue I didn't want excess skin. I am about the same place as you. I am down 60 lbs. I have learned that I would much rather have 10 lbs of skin and stretch marks (that no one sees below my clothes anyway) than all that extra weight.

I can't believe I deluded myself for so long that it was important.

I am coming on 40. I can't think of a single situation that I will be out in public without my clothes on, anyway. The only one that sees these stretch marks is my husband and myself.
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Old 04-11-2012, 10:04 AM   #3
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Well, first of all, skin will continue to shrink up. So, do not despair about too much loose skin yet. I have about the worst skin in the WORLD and even though my weight loss has slowed down considerably the last few months, the shrinking up of the skins continues - it just takes it longer.

And because I have the worst skin in the world, I got stretch marks from everything - boobs growing, growth spurts in puberty, widening of the hips in puberty, weight gain and childbirth. I am a HUGE MASS of stretch marks, but guess what? besides the ones on the tummy (and the breast if they are cupped/held up) you don't notice them. My husband of 18 years had to be pointed out the ones on my thighs and calves and underarms to see them and he's seen me naked nearly every day as we don't hide our bodies from each other. WE SEE way more than anyone else will see.

And really, it's OK.

I think what happens though that even though we know our bodies won't be perfect, we still have unrealistic expectations sometimes, but we need to learn to love the bodies we were given - as we don't get another one.
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Old 04-11-2012, 10:10 AM   #4
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I'm sure you've seen this or something like it before:



But for me, its true. I've always been stretch mark prone. Just growing taller gave me stretch marks starting in Jr high. Then I chunked up, and more came. Later, I struggled with infertility for years and lost pregnancies. I ate, because thats how I dealt with emotions, and even more came.

I felt so fortunate when I finally did get pregnant with my son. And of course, more stretch marks came. I had a very difficult pregnancy that ended with me being diagnosed with eclampsia resulting in the emergency c-section birth (under general anesthesia) of my son. Not another stretch mark, but a large scar. And, when I had my second son, another repeat c-section added to the marks on my body.

My marks on my body are my "mom strips" and are a physical representation of my growth. I know, I too, will have some extra skin that will need to be addressed as some point in time. But my freckles, my scars, my stretch marks, they will always be there because they are the life I've lived.

I think loving and accepting those things will give you peace. And YOU will learn to see beauty in the things that make you who you are. And those who love you, will also see beauty - societal beauty even, in that.
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Old 04-11-2012, 10:20 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahFairhope View Post
I'm sure you've seen this or something like it before:

I've never seen it before, but I LOVE IT... might have to steal it for a blog post some time. And I completely agree - my life battle scars are earned and I shouldn't shirk away from them, but proud of them because they made me be the person I am!
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Old 04-12-2012, 11:12 AM   #6
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Okay I think we're about the same age and height and had the same start weights and I was also heavy for a while (my entire life!) (I weigh 30+ lbs less than I did at age 12 even though I'm like 5 inches taller and 13 years older). I spent my early teens around the early 200s, undergrad in the 230s-260s, and my breaking point grad school at 275. I know what it's like believe me!

1.) You may not need surgical intervention for the loose skin. Yes things are a little saggy, but nothing is saggy enough for surgery y'kno (except maybe my boobs) and every month It's like my skin gets more used to my new frame and tightens up a bit.

2.) the stretch marks. Are they pleasant, not at all! But it is what it is and you learn to live with them. I've kind of discovered that when they're moisturized they look slightly better and less livid than when they're dry. They fade a bit with time as I'm sure you know, but no they don't disappear. But I mean unless you were fixing for a career in nude modeling, it doesn't matter too much. When your new hot bod <gratuitous wink and wolf-whistle> is draped in some slinky number, who's going to notice the stretch marks!

Stay encouraged and stay on plan. It's so so worth it! We all have that moment when we realize that our lives and bodies won't suddenly be made perfect by weight loss and it's okay to cry. But pick yourself up, ok? And keep on keeping on!
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Old 04-12-2012, 11:18 AM   #7
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OP, I don't know how old you are, but I'm 42. My life has gone through a lot in that time. I posted about feelings of my body and stretch marks on my blog today.

I posted pictures of myself in bikinis and a tankini here. If I had a photo of myself in a swimsuit at my highest weight I would post it, but I think I would have killed someone if they had taken such a photo. My body is tired, but it is also to be celebrated!!! Start believing that about your body too!

http://s53.photobucket.com/albums/g8...msuit%20album/
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:16 PM   #8
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Eh, I may never be able to wear a swim suit in public, but I look dang good in regular clothes. I'm almost 42 and was over 300 for a long time and I have excess skin for sure...but it does not show under clothes. Just wait till you get to the weight you want to be at and don't stress about it till then. You might be pleasantly surprised.
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:17 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by berryblondeboys View Post
OP, I don't know how old you are, but I'm 42. My life has gone through a lot in that time. I posted about feelings of my body and stretch marks on my blog today.

I posted pictures of myself in bikinis and a tankini here. If I had a photo of myself in a swimsuit at my highest weight I would post it, but I think I would have killed someone if they had taken such a photo. My body is tired, but it is also to be celebrated!!! Start believing that about your body too!

http://s53.photobucket.com/albums/g8...msuit%20album/
Hey, you look pretty darn good in a swim suit! Your skin snapped back better than mine.
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Old 04-12-2012, 02:37 PM   #10
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Yeah. I don't have any plans to become a bikini model, stripper or buy a wardrobe of belly shirts. My stretch marks have stretch marks. I'm sure there will be some loose skin. I have been doing some googling on loose skin. The story I got was that if you don't have surgery and you wait long enough it will improve on its own with time.

The stretch marks I have from pregnancy are much better now. (Youngest is almost 8.) It takes time...but I'm just not the type to choose to go under the knife. I chose to lose weight slow and steady...wouldn't ever consider WLS. Its going to take some time for the deflated balloon look to go away. Its ok if my journey is more of a marathon than a sprint. Heck, my journey is probably more like one of those 100 mile races than a marathon. One day at a time. One step at a time. Inch by inch if necessary.

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Old 04-12-2012, 03:12 PM   #11
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I read on the maintenance part of the site that skin can continue to snap back up to a year and beyond reaching your final goal! This entire process is an endless test of patience... So look amazing in your clothes and just hang back and wait. If it makes you feel ANY better, that's what I'm doing... and I don't always like it but that's where I am!
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Old 04-12-2012, 09:27 PM   #12
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hmmmm was your plan to be "society pretty" to walk around naked??? LOL Last time I checked most folks put something on and in clothing, almost all can be hidden!

and don't despair, I was fat for 30 years, and while my skin is by no means flawless, it snapped back a THOUSAND times better than I ever dreamed!!
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Old 04-13-2012, 08:12 AM   #13
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Thanks everyone. It was just one of those "How badly have I been deluding myself moments!" Plus, as it turns out, my erratic ToM appeared the next day which may (partially) explain my complete and utter emotional breakdown over stretch marks.

I think by society pretty, I was thinking that one day I would be able to wear a bikini and who knows! Maybe I will and I won't give a hoot what other people have to say.

^_^
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Old 04-15-2012, 09:38 PM   #14
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Keep moisturizing and try rubbing yourself down with Vitamin E after showers!
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Old 04-16-2012, 08:10 AM   #15
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Berryblondboys- you look great, your skin looks like it definitely did a good job of snapping back!
OP- I know how you feel, I used yo be utterly disgusted by my hip Steffy marks during puberty and now I have like 1000 more than I did. But I have been making SN effort to look in the mirror everyday and accept how I look- because not accepting what I saw is why I just kept getting bigger... I am starting to embrace myself and welcome the new me, I can't say that.I don't hope I will look like I used to for the.most part.but.I have a child and I know the reality that comes with that too. My advice to you is accept who you see in the mirror as the.new.improved you- don't compare yourself to anyone else because we all have our own issues. *hugs* oh and I wanted to say, "society beauty" is overrated, my boyfriend thinks I am beautiful and that is society enlightened for me because.truly strangers could give a doodle about you! 'The ones that matter don't mind. The ones that mind don't matter."
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