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Old 04-11-2012, 07:53 AM   #1
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Life has been a mess for me. My Dad was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis about 1 1/2 years ago and they told us he had 5-10 years. My Dad got very sick around Christmas this year and was in the hospital with complications from the disease. He came home and was put on Oxygen 24/7. Then a little over a month ago my Dad was rushed to the Hospital again because he couldn’t breathe, and that is where he stayed until he passed away 3 weeks ago. I was there every day and so wasn’t my Mom and Brother. We were all there when he passed holding his hand and telling him we loved him. He was only 62 years old, It's just not fair. I miss him so much and can’t stop thinking about him and the suffering her went through.
I am trying to get back to some kind of normalcy but it's hard. I ended up leaving the place where I was living and moved back in with my Mom to help her out with bills and to help around the house. My life has just changed dramatically.
Before all of this happened I had lost 89lbs doing Weight Watchers. When I get stressed out I eat and I gained over 10lbs back. I am trying to get back on my horse but it is so hard because I am still not back to normal and all I want to do is feed my face because im stressed out and depressed which I never am. I have started walking and trying to eat right again but It's really hard. The support on the forum is great and I hope by posting It will help me get back on track to a healthy me.
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231lbs, 217lbs, 203lbs, 189lbs, 175lbs, 161lbs, 150lbs!!

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Old 04-11-2012, 08:20 AM   #2
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Sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a parent is very hard no matter what age you are. I lost my mom 5 years ago after a long fight against cancer and I still miss her so much and want to pick up the phone and talk with her. I know she is in a better place now watching over us all - and she isn't in pain anymore. I talk to her often and cherish all the wonderful memories I have. Keep those good memories close to your heart.

I know your dad wants the best for you - so get back on track and take care of yourself. He would want that for you.
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Old 04-11-2012, 09:02 AM   #3
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I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Take it easy and go bit by bit, don't put too must stress on yourself. You have just went through a huge life changing process with the loss of your father and moving back in with your mom. Just go little by little and be kind to yourself. Hang in there, wishing you the best xoxo
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Old 04-11-2012, 09:39 AM   #4
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My deepest sympathies for your loss! *HUG* It's so hard to lose a parent, and there's so much upheaval that can happen as you try to work through that loss. You've also had a living arrangement change, and are a major emotional support for your Mom. No wonder things are feeling overwhelming at times!!

I would suggest that you really try to find some support, and work some "me time" into your schedule. Whether it's attending a church group, or making regular time for a spring walk, taking time for yourself (in a non-eating way) can really help you gather your thoughts, process your feelings, and begin to absorb and adjust to all the changes.

I especially suggest this because you are also a care-taker for your Mom, even if it's mostly emotional at this point. By investing time in your own care, you'll be stronger for her when she needs you most.

We're here to help on the food/exercise support stuff, too. Sometimes it's more important to hold steady and not gain, when you don't have the focus to spare on the actual losing part. You've done this. You KNOW what to do. Just hold steady for a while until you have more emotional energy to focus again on losing.


Let us know how you're doing.
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Old 04-11-2012, 03:55 PM   #5
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Thank you
It is going to be tough and stressfull but I will get through it all some how, have to be strong for my Mom.
I am defiantly going to take some time out for myself even if it's just to sit outside and read. I need to take care of myself as well, you're right. first maintain my weight and then later when things have calmed down I can try to loose again.
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10%- 245lbs (met 4/23/2011)
231lbs, 217lbs, 203lbs, 189lbs, 175lbs, 161lbs, 150lbs!!
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Old 04-11-2012, 04:36 PM   #6
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Sorry to hear about your loss, my own Dad passed away in 2008. His lungs were hardening and he was waiting for a transplant that never happened. I still miss him and even though it is a few years ago it still feels like yesterday. At that time I was going to college but had to quit it was just too much for me to handle that, my family, and make sure my mom was all right. I don't think that pain ever goes away but it does lessen a little bit to where you can go on again. Just like you it did make me gain more wait maybe it helped to eased the pain but then you wake up one day and wonder why your pants are getting tighter. I think that moment happened, for me, after everything settled back down for me (my son, who was 5 at that time, was a mess for a few years after that and it didn't help that two years later my grandma died as well. He was close to both. That made it even more tough er on me to be strong for him, help him get through it, and pick up the pieces for me as well) and I went back to college. Love ones passing not only does a number on your state of mind but to your body as well.
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:05 PM   #7
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Sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a parent is very hard no matter what age you are. I am also caring for my elderly mother and my sick husband while working a full time stressful job. So I understand where you at.

Sometimes it is hard to focus on one self when you have so many people depending on you to take care of them. But you have to find time to take of you. I take one night a week and go out with friends or just by myself for a while if it is no more than an hour it helps.

In my life stress also equals food. Keep things in the house that you can eat that are low calories. Carrot sticks, celery, fruit are some of my favorites. You can do this you have already proven that you can. Just hang in there!!
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:19 PM   #8
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I am so sorry for your loss of your father!! but you and your family were there with him til the end, i think that means so much even though it is hard. Everyone should have a loved one near when they pass, it's the last thing we can do for them.

I hope you can be kind to yourself ... it is a terribly stressful time, but if you're able to manage some healthier foods it will only help you in the long run. Easy to say, I know...may you feel all our sympathy and caring to you.
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Old 04-11-2012, 05:49 PM   #9
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I am so sorry for your loss. It's very difficult to lose a parent.

Take good care of yourself during this stressful time and maybe just try to maintain until you feel ready to cope with weight loss.
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Old 04-11-2012, 06:02 PM   #10
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for you and lots of sympathy and prayers on the loss of your Dad!

Please do look after yourself - getting out for a walk every day, just to clear your head if nothing else, sounds like such a good idea. And let us know how you're managing
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