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Am i the only one that feels this way?

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Old 03-25-2012, 05:11 AM   #1
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Default Am i the only one that feels this way?

ok so here it is .... im still not comftable saying the number out loud ( that is never a good thing hence trying to loose some ) but here are my stats

5'6 size ,16 womens, weight ..... well into the two hundreds lets say about half way through it.

by no stretch of the imagination am i fit looking

but i dont feel very fat .... being well into the two hundreds i KNOW i am fat .... but i just dont feel that way i feel chunky like as in 30 lbs overweight but i just dont feel fat

im able to function decentley well i play sports ( i suck but i like to play )

i LOVE to get dressed up and go dancing evrey weekend and i mean dance not just stand there ....

i shop in all the regular size stores .... forever 21,charlette russe, H&M, NY&Company ( im the biggest size in there but i fit )

call me crazy but i just feel like evrey woman myself included is some sort of sexy at the size she is ... weather its 300lbs or 100lbs and people just struggle to fit into what is considered "correct"

am i deluded?? is this some sort of denial?? does evreyone else see me as fatter than i see myself?? sometimes i wonder if this is some sort of self defense mechanism on my part ... evreytime i get on a diet i sucsseed in getting down to a size 12 ( which for me with the vanity sizing is about 190 lbs )and i feel like i look great ... and then i get comftable eat evreything and enjoy myself and end up right back here seesawing to keep in my size 16s

why cant i ever seem to feel the drive to want to be better than 190lbs ... ? that seems to be my .... "im comftable i dont need this diet because im too good/happy enough/this is realistic for it" weight
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Old 03-25-2012, 08:46 AM   #2
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I'm that way. I don't have any particular body image woe motivating me. It's all health.

When I cruise somewhere between 180-200? I think/feel pretty cute so I don't have a HUGE motivation getting me to 165. My PCOS symptoms reduce greatly so I don't have that any more either.

I don't know what to say other than I've been in those shoes. Had I stayed there I would probably be happy there but I struggle with maintaining skills and here I am losing again.

I guess I'll worry about it when I get there and maybe take a maintain break at 200?

I'm not sure.

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Old 03-25-2012, 09:22 AM   #3
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I know how exactly how you feel but my range is 175-180 I get there and feel cute but not hot lol and before I know it I'm 199! I wont go over 200 again. And I have no idea why I've done this...cause I don't even want to be that size. I'm determined not to stop though. Maybe make a mini goal until you get to your ultimate goal that surpasses your comfy weight like mine is I will be 160 by my bday! Its like a dream for me lol I wish I had more advice on this but atleast you know your not alone
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Old 03-25-2012, 01:10 PM   #4
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Yep, me too.

That's why it took me so long to decide to lose weight - I feel fine. I mean, yeah I KNOW I'm way over what I need to be, but somehow it never bothered me enough to DO anything about it.

It's actually rather a petty thing that made me start losing - a trip to Universal Studios this summer, and I knew there was no way I'd fit on everything there.

Some times there are slaps in the face we can't hide from or ignore.
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Old 03-26-2012, 09:19 AM   #5
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You've lost over 60 lbs! I bet you do feel and look cute!
I'm only 5'3 so my comfy zone is in the 160's (far from that right now) everytime I've been there (since being this tall) I fit into a 12 and stop paying attention to what's going in my mouth. Then I gain back everything I lost plus some. I wanted this time to be different because the thought of losing weight and ending up bigger than 238 terrified me! So, I've been prepping myself that my goal is 130 and maintenance is a neccessity!! Personally, I can't let myself get comfortable again, I can't ever say, "this is good enough" or I'll get into trouble all over again. This is a big reason I love 3FC, there are so many fantastic ladies who've lost their weight and they are maintaining by still counting calories and staying accountable here. They inspire me and I know I want to be like them in a year or so!
I'd say, "Go for the Dream Weight, You are worth it and You can do it!"
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Old 03-26-2012, 09:43 AM   #6
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It sounds like you carry your weight well and it's very "compact!" I'm 5'7" and am down to 237 from 252 and just got out of my 24w jeans. I was down to 219 a few years back and was still in size 20 jeans!

I guess because of this, I can't really say I feel the way you do. I can tell my weight inhibits a lot of things, although after 15 pounds I can already tell that's changing. It's wonderful your weight isn't keeping you from doing all the things you love. So many people wait to "start living life" until they're at a certain weight, myself included. We miss out on so much doing this and you're not!

Maybe you could have your numbers checked by a doctor, cholesterol, BP, etc. and get a full physical. You could strive for better overall health regardless of your jean size. Being closer to the "healthy" weight range could help that.
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Old 03-26-2012, 12:19 PM   #7
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XLMuffintop

your right my weight is very compact ... i think that is what made me not realize how much i actually weigh .... i am happy with the way i look when i get dressed in the morning unfourtunatley the size 5 girl standing next to me at forever 21 makes me feel fat but without her there i feel fine .... lol

dont get me wrong there are definitley times i feel fat , like when im at the club and i notice evreyone is a size 2 and im amoungst a very small handful of size 16's there ... i will say i feel even borderline inferior to the other girls ... but that wont stop me from going to these events with my other girlfriends and such ....
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Old 03-26-2012, 02:05 PM   #8
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There is NOTHING wrong with being happy with your body at a higher weight!

For me, when I was at my highest weight I was unhealthy. My joints ached, I didn't have enough energy, I had lots of insomnia, and other medical problems. So for me further weight loss was obvious. I also have family members who have had cancer, heart attacks, high blood pressure etc... all are things I want to avoid.

It sounds like you have an amazing outlook on life and that dancing has to be great for your figure too.

But why not focus on your health instead of your looks? You might want to send InsideMe a message because I remember her posting something similar when she was starting out. There's a lot you can prevent now by dealing with weight loss and I can tell you health issues that I didn't even realize that I had disappeared with further weight loss! The amount of energy/lack of joint pain really is tremendous.

Ultimately, it's up to you but I've been infinitely more successful focusing on small changes to improve my health (like cutting out sugar, increasing physical activity etc) rather than clothes. Shoot, I'm pretty happy NOW about how I look but I've seen a big reduction in knee pain in just the last 10lbs and am hoping that it'll be almost gone in the next 20lbs.

I know you're young but trust me, it's SO much easier to deal with your habits NOW. Work on incorporation better foods, portion sizes, more activity etc (although it does sound like you're already pretty active now, which is GREAT!). Deal with the habits first and the weight loss will come. But it might be a lot easier for you to do that instead of focusing entirely on the number on the scale.
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Old 03-26-2012, 02:57 PM   #9
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I agree! My self worth was never ever tied to size. I never understood how people could they were "bad" and conversely, "good" due to how much they weigh LOL

That being said, at 323 pounds, there was definitely a lot of "above the neck" viewing going on. I always had perfect hair and makeup, nails, etc., because that's what I looked at. In my mind, I was "a bit heavy" but not that bad. Reality would smack me in the face when I saw photos, etc, but I never FELT enormous!
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Old 03-26-2012, 05:45 PM   #10
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I think everyone's goal weight should be where they feel comfortable. Where you can do whatever you want to do and feel comfortable doing it, just like you said. Nothing wrong with that. That is exactly what I am aiming for: not a specific weight or size, just small goals along the way -- I will reassess my end goal as I go along.

My first major goal was to get back into a size 18, and I did that on top some time ago -- now, I want the bottom to get there (of course by then, my top will likely be down to a 14-16). When I feel comfortable and can walk well, and do whatever I want without feeling pain or hearing cracks in my knees, that will be my "comfort zone" -- and then I'll go for maintenance.

Originally, my biggest goal was to be healthier as my moniker says, then second -- to feel comfortable in my own skin and body. I'm glad you know what and where you want to be; now you can just enjoy it ...
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Old 03-26-2012, 07:15 PM   #11
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Nothing wrong with feeling great even if you're not at a perfect weight. I'm obese and I have moments where I feel great about me too. Not all the time, and other than when it comes to say flirting with guys I don't let my appearance hold me back, I am in step aerobics and if there was a good rec league for womens basketball I would play (but there isn't... ) I go out often, not EVERY weekend but I am a DANCER when I do go out. I am huge but I still have fun, I don't hide whats the point to that.

I don't Karaoke but honestly I think even if I ever am thin and stereotypically attractive I won't ever have the guts to do . I don't mind being on a dance floor but I hate being the center of attention, i always have. At least since I was a teenager. Developed mega stage fright, I don't think being thin etc would really change that. Maybe getting older will?

Really though I think its great you don't let weight interfere with your life. I don't either and I am way heavier. Whats the point in waiting? If I don't lose the weight I'll be sitting here at 40 regretting that I didn't have fun in my 30's. They way I regret spending my 20's sitting at a computer nearly 24/7.
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Old 03-26-2012, 08:57 PM   #12
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I think many of us have felt the same. My reality check only came when I saw photos. Otherwise, I felt I looked fine. My highest weight never kept me from doing what I wanted. And I never had any weight related health issues. None. So what is the reason to lose? Just knowing it has to be better in the long run to weigh in the "normal" range, (or close to it,) I guess.

I'll say this, though. Being more than 90 pounds lighter has made a huge difference in things I never realized were "wrong" before. The things that I could do before are just easier now. From simple things like up and down the stairs from the 2nd floor to the basement doing laundry, to following the general contractor around a job site at work, to getting up off the floor at the gym. It is all easier now. That has to be better, right?

Most of you who posted are young. Learn now that you need to do this for your health. Don't yo-yo up and down for the rest of your life. Adopt healthy changes and keep them. You will thank yourself 30 or 40 years from now when you're my age.

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Life style change started on Jan 13, 2011. I was going to lose 100 pounds by Christmas.
I lost 93 pounds by Oct 1, 2011 and am holding there for now. We'll see what happens.
New goal: To maintain at about 160 Final Goal: To decide if I need to lose more
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Old 03-27-2012, 12:22 PM   #13
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I've always liked my body too, even when I was a size 16 or 18. I'm finding now I'm becoming more critical of it but trying to still love it....But, Yeah photo's don't lie! I'm very much the same way, my mind tends to play tricks on me. Now that I can also fit into those clothing stores, I saw a pick of me this weekend and I'm like wow I'm still "chubby" not fat now but "chubby" where I didn't see it in the mirror before I went out. I think the best indicator is to just check your percentage of body fat. The fat jiggles, the muslce makes you lean and clothing sits and fits much better. Plus do this to be healthy not to fit into a particular size. How do you look naked? That's what I do, I still see the fat that needs to go that could be detrimental to my health down the road because I carry it all in my stomach and stomach fat goes skin deep around your organs....so not just getting rid of most it but also improving my health is very important.
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Old 03-27-2012, 03:50 PM   #14
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yes i know the health is a very important aspect of loosing weight ....

im trying to use that as motivation to do this ....

grrrrr...... =(
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Old 03-27-2012, 04:43 PM   #15
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We cannot delude ourselves into thinking we are thin and look fabulous. We are not thin.

We cannot be a runway model at our size. We are missing out a lot in life by being so overweight. We are limiting our dating and job opportunities.

We will have a much better time and look a lot better in our clothes when we weigh around 130 pounds.
And we will be a lot healthier. We will live longer.

I know. I am at 188 pounds and am going back down to 130... But I plan on staying down there. No yo-yo for me.

To be the best you can be, you must make up your mind once and for all to be thin also. And when you get down to 130...go into maintenance.

Most of us on this forum need to make a complete lifestyle change. Being overweight is not a good lifestyle for any of us here.

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