turns out my binge was not so much a binge after all....
 

saturday was my daughter's b-day party and all the west indian relatives were up (7 of them - her father's ex-wife's brother and crew).

i spend 2hrs making the cake and no matter what i did, i'd get so concentrated that i kept automatically licking icing off my fingers - i used to eat buttercream icing by the spoon (home-made, btw, not from a tub) but every time it hit my mouth, i'd grimace because all i got this time around was an overwhelming sensation of grease. which i hate.

so i had a shake in teh morning, got wrapped up doing the cake, getting my daughter ready, dj-ing bec her father didn't want anybody touching his computer and we don't have a stereo, changing the movie (the DVD player is in his computer which is connected to the TV) and so on.

i drank a stupid amount of plain president's choice chocolatey-mint black tea so maybe that's why i didn't notice i was missing meals. that, plus they kept *pushing* me to eat something - like it was tearing their hearts out and mortally offending them because i wasn't stuffing my face with the food they brought: fried rice, 3 kinds of sausages, scrambled eggs, curried goat, couple pounds of bacon, and so on and so on. when someone directs addresses my eating, i have this wierd mental tic: i lose my appetite completely and instantly.

couldn't get onto my own computer to work out the day's menu - two of the kids had gone into my office and locked the door to which i have no key.

suddenly, it was time to go to the buffet.

at the buffet, the manager of the restaurant (my daughter's father's boss) talked me into a 67-cal beer - pushed me into it, really, but i figured i'd compensate later. at the buffet, i had no sweets. instead, i had:

3 slices (sliced on a deli machine, not with a knife) of roast beef
1 pork chop, about 5oz, not all of which i ate
about 1c of broccoli salad - basically, broccoli tossed in an oil vinaigrette
about 1c of coleslaw - made at the restaurant and i pulled it off the top bec it was mostly drained dry
about 1c of beet salad - cubed cooked beets tossed in a very nice citrus, oil-free dressing with caraway seeds (himself says that oil does not "marry" well with beets).
and a single yorkshire pudding (they make them in muffin pans).

i felt awful - my stomach felt like i'd swallowed a cannonball and it bothered me all yesterday, too.

sat and sun night both, i had to have gummi bears because i was getting low blood sugar (cranky, uncontrollable hunger - not craving, HUNGER - and sweats).

well today i got everything on the tracker and i came in badly under calories after all.

which explains a lot.

but i don't want to go back to eating normally until this pain goes away - i'm thinking that oversized meal might've stressed out my gallbladder bec that's exactly what it feels like.