My Personal Barrier
 

I'm on day 9 of my new weight loss plan, having gone back up to 267 from my lowest point last year of 244. I'm currently at 265 and hope I will show a loss tomorrow.

I'm doing great most of the time. I decided to start a health journal and have managed to stay on plan rather easily this time around. But when I let my mind wander, I start to doubt myself. And I refuse to let that doubt sink in.

I've realized that I've carried a lot of eating anxieties in the past, and I'm hoping that they won't creep back up on me again. I think severely cutting down on sugar has helped minimize my cravings, so I just stay on plan and actually have no problems making healthy choices when I eat away from home. I also don't get annoyed or angry over not being able to eat what everyone else around me is as I have in the past.

Something I told myself years ago is to "trust the process." Not to look too far ahead and disappoint myself, just to focus on the now and what will get me through another healthy day. Because if I keep following the process of eating right and exercising, I will eventually see results. But in my case, I've learned if I only focus on getting results, I set myself up for failure and become anxious and even bitter about where I am and what I eat because the results simply don't happen fast enough.

I was at my highest weight in 2005, at 360 pounds. I seem to slowly lose in 30-40 pound increments at a time before hitting a very long plateau. It took me four years to get down to the 250 range, and I've been struggling to get below it ever since 2009. I had that short spurt last year where I managed to get in the 240's, but I went right back up and then some. And I'm sorta afraid that once I get down to 250 again, I'll get stuck once again.

I can't let myself think about that much, as I don't want to shrug off all my efforts, but I think I'm secretly afraid that I'll never be able to stay under 250 no matter what I do. It's what I was in high school (although my shape is different now), is where I've been at many points in my life, and it seems to be where my body naturally settles at no matter what I eat.

How do I get over that barrier in my mind?

I don't know what to tell you to help those mental issues as I have them as well. However, I wanted to say you've been able to keep 95 pounds off which is an AMAZING weight loss.

Even if you get to 250 and have a year long plateau, your body would still be 110 lbs lighter than where you started years ago! Think about how much easier is it to move, to breathe and just to enjoy life! Don't cause your self doubt to cause you to undo all of the progress you've made. Again, you already have an amazing accomplishment under your belt.

This!!!

Even if you stayed at 250 forever, if you were eating healthy and exercising you would be healthier than a 130 pound person who lives on candy bars and doritos. (I am sure if you stick to eating healthy and exercising and eating proper portions you would not really ist at 250 forever).

You can do this!!! You have proven it to yourself before and you WILL do it again!

Yup. Don't spend too much time feeding the bad dog.

And learn to celebrate staying the SAME even if you put in lots of work just as much as you celebrate the losing. :carrot:

That is essentially maintaining in the end isn't it? Once the losing is all done?

Putting in lots of work still to stay STILL.

Hang in there!
A.

As astrophe stated don't spend so much time psyching yourself out over "I will never get past 250" It will happen just be patience and stay on track. You are doing a wonderful job so far.

Thank you so much. :hug: I think one of my problems is that it's easy for me to forget just how far I've gotten. In the past few days I have felt so fat and dysfunctional. I actually dug out old photos today to remind myself of where I used to be, and my eyes must be skewing things as I don't think I look or feel any different from back then. I know deep down it's not the case but it's weird how our minds work.

And I know I put a lot of mental emphasis on 250 since that's the point my body really starts to change noticeably. When I got to 244 past year it opened a lot of new possibilities with what I could wear, and right now I'm stuck with a closet full of shirts that are too snug to wear in public. I'm anxious to be able to wear them again!

Thanks! :hug: My weakness has always been sugar; heck, my mom even used to add sugar to our macaroni and cheese to make it "taste better" when I was a kid! :o I've often reached the point of feeling like healthier eating isn't getting me anywhere when I'm in one of those dreaded plateaus, but I always go back to it like I am now. I think I'll be ok at sticking with it this time, and I do like to remind myself that I'm fueling my body properly now instead of feeding it junk that will rob me of my health and energy. Once again, I need to "trust the process," and I'm thankful I caught myself now rather than waiting until I'd gotten over 300 or more again.

And thankfully I never really liked Doritos. ;) I should be ok as long as I stay away from sugar. :D

Thank you! :hug: I did see that thread a while back and really enjoyed it. :) I'm doing my best to stay positive in general but have been in such a bad funk for a couple of days. I've still managed to eat right in that time though so I think it's a good sign that I can stay committed.

I went through a really hard time back in 2009. Earlier in the year I'd been holding at 285, but when I got my eating habits in gear I easily worked my way down to 265. I decided to join a TOPS chapter to kick my enthusiasm up a notch, and quickly worked my way down to 250. Where I averaged for the next two years. While I was happy with my loss, I became increasingly frustrated over how hard I was working only to maintain rather than continue to lose. I didn't have any luck in getting below that number until this time last year . . . then I had some severe family issues in the fall and got pregnant. Then lost the baby at the beginning of this year. I've been such a mess emotionally since then, but figure at the very least I need to get what I'd gained back under control again. Funny how I'm right back where I started at TOPS three years ago!

I know there will always be stress, always be issues, so I just need to do what I've done in the past nine days and buckle down on eating right, no matter what. My health, life, and future all depend on it, even if I only end up maintaining the loss I've made. I don't want to face the same issues I did when I was 360.

Thank you so much. :hug: Doing my best over here to concentrate on the positives I have in my life. :)

All the previous posters are right -- focus on your successes and all the positives along the way. Don't worry or fret about what will happen down the road. You will continue to lose; and that is success, plain & simple.

Those of us who started out at a higher number have learned that we often lose in spurts, and hit a lot of plateaus -- that IS part of the process for us. Once you realize that, then you won't be so concerned about it. You have done an astoundingly good job; congrats on that ... :D

In addition to what's already been said - I'll offer this. If you did it yesterday, there's no reason you can't do it again today. And if you can do it today, there's no reason you can't do it one more time tomorrow. Follow that and the entire rest of you life is taken care of. Yesterday, today, tomorrow. It's only 3 days. Ever.

You've done a fantastic job. I can't imagine you won't get down to whatever goal weight is good for you for the rest of your life.

Lin

I feel you. My personal Barrier has been the 240's I'm At 244 right now, Have been there since last september. A friend of mine also got into the 240's and went right back up to 250. She is struggling to get back down again. We both know we will break out of the 240's though. Why? Because we say we will! You will too! I know you are gonna get those "down days" I get them too where I get freaked out and wonder "how the f***" am I gonna do this? I don't know how to be thin! Even now when people besides my boyfriend hit on me I get creeped out and look for someone behind me. I am now at a lower weight than I was in high school! In high school I was between 270 and 300 LBS. I have NEVER been at a lower weight than this except when I was 9 and weighed 90 lbs. This is scary **** for me. Its psychological. But I will get through it and you will too! If you need to talk or anything You can always PM me . My highest weight was 320 so I know where you are coming from. It's a horrible feeling but it is great to be where we are now! Sometimes I too feel like "there's no change from 32, none at all" I have a few tops I can wear that I wore then (yes they are slightly big now, but don't look like it because they were stretched farther than I knew when I was wearing them at 320) you CAN do this. This is an off day. Tomorrow WILL be better! We will do it together!

what you're describing is a "set point". we've all got them, up and down the scale. it's a point where your body is in perfect balance and it LIKES being there. so it fights tooth and nail to stay there - once you're off that plateau, like you noticed, you tend to lose weight in significant dips until once again, you hit a set point.

one thing you might try: instead of eating "x" number of calories each and every day, start zigzagging your intake.

f.ex, i plugged in an arbitrary age of 25yrs, female, your height and current weight, exercising every day and the calculator at www.freedieting.com came up with a fat loss calorie requirement of rounded 2600 cal/day. that might seem a lot but don't forget that at our size, it takes a heck of a lot of energy for our muscles to power us up out of the chair to go to the bathroom. we're basically walking around with 100lb backpacks on 24/7.

now, you could choose to eat 2600cal per day but that's when you and your body start to settle into a monotonous drone - same in, same out, day in, day out.

by zigzagging, you're still getting the same 2600/day average over the week but your body never knows how much it's going to get:

mon - 2600
tues - 2100
wed - 3200
thu - 2600
fri - 2400
sat - 2900
sun - 2600

as you can see, zigzagging also allows for those days you just really need to eat a bit more and days when you're just not all that hungry.

the unpredictability (what i plan on doing is starting each week on a friday (weigh-in at the dr's office is thurs evenings) and i have my 7 numbers for the week, but not book them to the day - my high-cal day might be tues this week and fri next, is what i mean - anyway, the unpredictability will prevent your body from going into a stasis drone, it will keep your diet a lot more interesting, and you have to focus more on what you're actually going to eat rather than just "same old, same old".