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-   -   does your hubby/bf/so know how much you weigh? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/251369-does-your-hubby-bf-so-know-how-much-you-weigh.html)

facingfacts12 01-25-2012 01:16 AM

does your hubby/bf/so know how much you weigh?
 
Ok,so today during a weight loss conversation with hubby about weight loss (a big topic for me these days), he asked me, how much DO you weigh?

I've kept my weight top secret, because I am embarrassed to admit to even myself (what more him) that I weigh more than him. I never thought I would come to this place - no matter how much I ever weighed I never thought I'd be more than HIM! (he's 6 ft tall!)
When I crossed that mark during pregnancy I told myself oh well, that's me PLUS baby. I don't have that excuse anymore.

And I simply could not tell him the truth. Instead I asked, how much do you THINK I weigh?
He didn't really want to answer... and said he doesn't want to get in trouble, but then he finally guessed - 180.
I was just silent. It was daunting to think that I am FIFTY pounds above that. That I have not weighed that in over 5 years, since pre-pregnancy. And that this number, that is 50 pounds away from what he was too scared to even pronounce.
A real eye opener...

I ended up telling him that I will be more comfortable losing the weight (a good load of it) first and then telling him where I had started...

*appending to this post to clarify, (based on some of the responses) that this really isn't about trying to keep some "secret" from my husband... but rather that I am not comfortable saying the exact number right now and he understands that perfectly :)
See post number 31 http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/4190758-post31.html

Kitcherella 01-25-2012 02:09 AM

A couple of years ago, while talking about dieting, my husband somewhat annoyed told me "you haven't lost a kilo since I met you". I laughed so hard - I had put on at least 50 pounds!!! They love us, don't they?

Having said that mine knows, I have put up post-its with my goals all over the house as reminders so it would have been hard not to notice :) . I need his support so he must know the facts. And I feel that it is nothing to be ashamed of, it is just a number it does not define you as a person. However, if you do feel comfortable the way things are, that's more than Ok.
Best of luck to you ;)

astrophe 01-25-2012 02:19 AM

I'm not shy about it but I don't think my DH knows/remembers. Things like my clothing size, shoe size, height, weight... that's not stuff that sticks to his head. He doesn't even know where we keep the tin foil. LOL. :)

A.

facingfacts12 01-25-2012 02:25 AM

what is hilarious is that a LONG time ago, I wanted to lose weight but was too scared to find out how much I actually weigh, because I thought I'd weep when I find out (back then I would have). However I needed to know my start weight so that I would later know how much weight I lost.
So I actually stood on the scale and had hubby write down the number for me (I didn't look) and only did after I'd had some weight loss that I could feel. That starting number (back then) was 181 I believe.
Now it will take a ton of work just to get that number back!

For now... if hubby thinks I weigh 180, I dont want to give him a heart attack and clue him in that he is 50lbs off.
I'd rather tell him in hindsight.... :) lol
Besides... that's extra motivation to lose weight - to tell him where I "dropped" from...!

RRB2 01-25-2012 03:17 AM

MY DH has no idea...but everyone thinks I'm around 170-180 range. I'm short, but heavy boned, so even when I was size 6-8 I weighed 150 lbs.
I think he suspects smth around 180 lbs.

Eliana 01-25-2012 08:13 AM

Ok, funny story.

My fiance is a pilot. On one of our first dates, he decides to take me flying in a little four seater. He leans over his seat, clipboard in hand, eyes focused on the clipboard, pen poised and asks, "How much do you weigh?"

Dead silence.

After some time he looks up expectantly.

About here he takes a deep breath and kindly explained to me that it was important to know for weight and balance measures. Apparently you have to keep track of body weight and luggage weight vs. gas in those tiny little planes. Actually, they have to keep that in mind with large jets too. They actually put differing amounts of gas in for the regular population vs. a plane that is mostly flying athletes.

So yes...my fiance knows. ;) But if I had my druthers, he would not.

susiemartin 01-25-2012 08:24 AM

He knows.
What surprises me is he never seems too shocked.
I'm the one usually shocked when I haven't step on a scale for a few months;)

cathi888 01-25-2012 08:46 AM

I don't see what the big deal is with the number, He may not know the number, but if you are intimate in any way. He KNOWS. My husband does know my number, but it doesnt matter, he says he can tell I am losing weight just when he feels a difference in a shoulder, or in a thigh muscle that is popping out, or a little hint of hip bone.

They can feel much more than they can actually see.

berryblondeboys 01-25-2012 09:01 AM

He didn't know My weight when I wasn't ready to deal with it. I also didn't tell him I snuck crap food when he wasn't looking or around. I'm honest about it all now because it's another way to stay accountable. And because he's the right kind of support for me. He understands this journey. He understands there will be days I want to eat more and days I will want to eat less. He doesn't question months I lose nothing and months I lose 14 pounds. He gets it's a process. If he were one to interfere and nag, I wouldn't have opened up as much, but he is a great support.

But while he didn't know the number on the scale, he KNEW I was big. I mean, come on. He sees me naked. He touches me as we are intimate. And while he never berated me for my weight. It bothered him. And it mostly bothered him because he wanted a life partner for a LONG life and I was slowly killing myself. So, when I was ready, I came clean.

I would never, ever, ever have asked him what he thought I weighed for three reasons. One, if he guessed too much, I would think he thinks I'm a bigger cow than I am. If he guessed too low, I would feel I have to hide even more and would feel even more at a loss and would feel despair at how far I had to go just to meet his expectations of where he thought I was. And What if he guessed right? Would I be honest?

I guess, if he would have asked when I was not ready to say, I would have said something like "too much, but I'm not ready to say how much yet."

It's funny, I hid my weight for years and years, yet I started writing a blog for all to see my weight about the same time I came clean to my husband. I was tired of hiding.

InsideMe 01-25-2012 09:29 AM

Yup she knows. Even what I was at my highest (we weren't together when i was at 265) But she was with me at 245lbs. I now weigh less than her (by 10lbs) And yeah they feel it more. This past weekend my girlfriend was feeling my thighs and she said "OMG your getting SO SKINNY!" haha, it felt nice :)

rachaelm 01-25-2012 09:44 AM

No. I'm sure he could give a pretty educated guess. But no. I've never wanted him to see that number. But if he flat out asked, I would tell hime.

My dad asked me a couple of weeks ago. I said, Do you really want to know? LOL. I told him the truth. He's just proud of me for actually staying on plan since September. That's a big deal around my world.

dini22 01-25-2012 10:11 AM

My partner didn't know until I was ready to tell him, which was at 220. Now he hears about every fraction of a pound I lose. :)

We were friends for a couple of years before we got together. His crush on my developed when I was at my heaviest. I avoided scales like the plague, but I was at LEAST 350 lbs. I remember that every time I worry about whether he is still attracted to me (8 years later).

I still outweigh him by almost 30 pounds, but that is just how it is gonna have to be.

Curvaliscious 01-25-2012 10:24 AM

My husband knows I'm Biggest Loser big and that's all he needs to know.

When I was in labor with my first child the nurse came in and asked how much I weighed in front of him. I wanted to die. I leaned over and mumbled it. Ugh.

He tells me how much he weighs all the time and he's a big guy. Somehow putting a number to what we both already know about me is unnecessary.

Crawlil 01-25-2012 10:25 AM

Yes he knows, however if I weighed more than him I might not of wanted Him to know Becuase he is much taller than I am lol

fyreflie24 01-25-2012 10:26 AM

Yup, he knows. He's always known. I'm very grateful he worked very had to make sure he knew he loved me at 235 like he did at 135, but I know the changes in my personality that often accompany this kind of weight gain bothered him... A LOT. Now, in all fairness, I was also dealing with some pretty daunting stuff on my own. I am now about 7 pounds LIGHTER than he is... that was huge for me! :carrot: He's trying to get off the last 20 lbs himself so that's something I try to use to keep myself in check; to be a good role model, to be supportive and to stay UNDER his weight, not to be competitive, but because that's just the way it *should* be (oh the things we tell ourselves for motivation LOL! :D )


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