Well, it's time for me to make a big decision. First a little background. I joined my wonderful little gym and made the decision to get healthy on January 13th. When I walked in the door, the owner asked, "What brings you in here today?" I answered, "Look at me - I need to lose 100 pounds and I plan to do it by Christmas." I'm not sure where those words came from, but I said them out loud and they became very real.
I have been very focused on keeping my word. I have had no real problem with staying on plan. Even at family weddings, group camping trips, vacation with friends, and visits to my DD in NC I stayed on plan. I know I can lose the last 13 - 15 pounds in the same way as I lost the first 85 - 87 pounds.
But now I'm not sure I want to. I was 252 pounds. At 152 I'd be in the normal weight range (high end) for my height. My BMI would be 23.8. And I'll be very baggy.
I've noticed such a difference in how much loose skin there is on my upper arms and thighs in the last 5 or 8 pounds that I'm not sure I want to go any lower right now. I've sort of made up my mind to get to 162 and hold at 90 pounds lost. And in deciding that, I somehow feel like I am giving in to vanity rather than staying on course for the sake of better health. But I'm sure, statistically, those 10 pounds don't matter too much as long as I maintain a healthy lifestyle of eating right and exercising. It's all just numbers.
If I were reading this instead of writing it, I'd be chomping at the bit to get to the end of the thread so I could post all the "right" things to encourage the person who posted. I know what to say to my stupid self. I'm usually so upbeat about this weight loss thing because I've been able to do it. My "down" feeling has thrown me for a loop. I spent Saturday with old friends (WAY old - we had a 60th birthday party for our HS class!) I look less baggy than some and baggier than others, heavy or thin. I know that many people my age have saggy skin just because of our age. Thank goodness I don't have a baggy face. But, oh my, this ain't pretty naked.
I'm not looking for advice. I know losing almost 90 pounds has made a huge impact on the rest of my life. I don't even think I'm going to change my ticker to reflect that my goal might be 162 instead of 152. But I think I need to go into a holding pattern for a while. If I leave my goal at 152, I can still consider the possibility of actually joining the 100 pound club someday. I think it will be best for me if I slow this down until I see if my skin catches up even a little bit. In the meantime, I am going to talk to one of the trainers and the owner at the gym and see about some weight training to build a bit more muscle and take the place of some of the still jiggling fat. I know that muscle weighs more than fat, so I'm also prepared for a slight gain, perhaps.
It is just SOOOOO silly to be tied to a number on the scale. I'll get over this. And actually, my goal was to do this by Christmas. Things might change again before then. Thanks for hanging in there with me for the long haul.