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Giving up before I even start?!?

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Old 09-15-2011, 06:13 PM   #1
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Default Giving up before I even start?!?

I am new to the forums, but not new to yo-yo dieting. I am 37 years old, mom to 3, wife, sahm, fat... miserable...

If you looked in my kitchen you would find some Slim-Fast in the fridge, some Nutrisystem foods in the pantry, a couple of Weight Watchers books and a points calculator, a number of weight loss books, cookbooks, etc. I've tried it all.

And I'm currently at my very highest weight, 320 pounds.

How did this happen? And why can't I find the strength to change it? I am here because I REALY, REALLY, REALLY want to change it. I NEED to change. I am afraid my body is just going to give up on me... if I don't change.

I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I can walk up the stairs... and yet, I continue to eat, and am afraid to exercise.

There is my candid introduction. I really want to change. I am ready to start. Don't know where or how yet, but I know that I'm ready.

Thanks for having me! Can't wait to get involved!

Jen Jen
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:36 PM   #2
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Hi Jen Jen, welcome!

The best place to start is with some kind of plan in place. Calorie counting is always inexpensive and easy to do, there are some great sites out there to help you - fitday, myfitnesspal, sparkpeople, etc. Just picking a site and starting to track - and track honestly and accurately - can help you be more aware of what kind of goals you need to set.

Even if all plans are ultimately about eating better and getting healthier, it can take a little time and some trial and error to find the one that works right for you. For example I've been doing WW and happy with that so far but there are definitely many others that have tried WW and decided it just wasn't for them. If you find yourself struggling, just don't give up - change your plan of attack if you need to, but keep reminding yourself that this time you're going to do it! Take advantage of these great forums, they are an invaluable source of wisdom and support.

As for activity, take it slow with some walking or low impact exercises in the water, on the elliptical, etc, whatever you have access to that you think you can commit to. Diet is going to be much more important to your weight loss, but personally I've found regular activity helps give me a routine and keeps me on track, I'm happier, sleep better, have more energy, etc.

~ Started 3/5/11 ~
Goal #1: 5% (-14) - 4/16/11 * Goal #2: 10% (-28.7) - 6/11/11 * Goal #3: 236.8 (-50) - 8/6/11
Goal #4: 211.8 (-75) - 10/29/11 * Goal #5: Onederland! - 12/17/11 * Goal #6: 186.8 (-100) - 4/28/12

Goal #7: 175
Goal #8: 161.8 (-125)
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:48 PM   #3
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Hi Jen Jen!
You have really come to the right place for support. There are some great cheerleaders and motivators for each other here. Good Luck on your journey. You are not alone. It sounds like you already have a few good resources at home (WW cookbooks). Keep us posted on your progress.
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:57 PM   #4
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You've taken a great first step by coming here and putting yourself out there. There are so many fantastic resources on these boards, and I know that you can find a plan that will fit! The people here are really understanding and supportive, I would say ask, ask, ask... no matter what the question people are willing to answer it.

Good luck, you can do it!

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly..."

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Old 09-15-2011, 07:09 PM   #5
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Hi Jen!!!!

It sounds like you've tried many different diet but haven't found the one you want to stick with and that's ok. I've tried a lot too. As a matter of fact I've tried two in the last 2.5 months because the first one wasn't working for me. I'm hoping I found the right one this time...so far, so good!!

My suggestion is not to say "it's all or nothing" when you start out. Try making little changes like no mayo on your sandwich, or eat half the potato chips you usually do...each week keep adding in healthier changes. Then maybe one week start measuring out your food. If a serving size is 1/2 cup, then measure out 1/2 cup and that's all you should eat of that food. Then maybe the next week start writing down and counting calories.

Little changes can make a big difference!
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Old 09-15-2011, 07:25 PM   #6
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Hi Jen, Congrats on taking the first step to a healthier you! Losing weight is hard for everyone, whether you need to lose 10 lbs or 100 + lbs. If it was easy, everyone would be fit and healthy. Just remember to take it one day at a time. Start out making small changes. One thing that helped me was, I asked myself every day "what do I want more", the answer was right there. I wanted to be healthy and fit more than anything. That pushed me each day. You can and will do it! We are here to help in any way we can. ((hugs))
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Old 09-15-2011, 09:42 PM   #7
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I'm going to risk expressing an opinion that may not be very popular. First off, welcome to the board (that's not the unpopular part!) And congratulations on deciding to get healthy. I want to tell you that you can do this. I am 60 years old and had been overweight (252 tops) since I was about your age. My first advice (still not the unpopular part) is that you will never regret starting now. I wish I had figured this out when I was your age. Now the opinion - and it's just my opinion, for what it's worth - sometimes going all out is the way to go. No baby steps. Just start eating correctly right NOW - this very minute - the way you know you should eat for the rest of your life. I don't mean to sound harsh or terribly opinionated. And just because this worked for me doesn't mean it will work for even one other person. But this is why I'm saying it:

Cutting out the sugar and junk and most white carbs greatly reduces your cravings for these things. If you don't crave them, you can resist them more easily. Decide that you want to be healthy MORE than you want a bowl of chips, M&M's, cake, whatever. Remind yourself that you will regret it if you fall too far off plan and that the moment of wanting something will pass. Make every food decision you make - one at a time. Choose ONE TIME to pass up the extra helping of "whatever." Next time, maybe you won't pass it up - just decide again when the next time rolls around.

You've been on a lot of different programs - I bet you know exactly what you should eat to be healthy and what causes problems for you. I bet you anything you want to bet that you can stay on a program of your choosing if you allow yourself to do it to the best of your ability every single day because you are worth it. And while I am suggesting going all out, allow yourself to make a mistake without getting all messed up over it. Just start over again RIGHT NOW. Once I came to the conclusion that this is not a diet, that this doesn't end, it all snapped into place. I think you're there. You want to be healthy for you and for your family. Lean on us - we'll give as much support as we possibly can. We're in this together. We will pull each other along.


Life style change started on Jan 13, 2011. I was going to lose 100 pounds by Christmas.
I lost 93 pounds by Oct 1, 2011 and am holding there for now. We'll see what happens.
New goal: To maintain at about 160 Final Goal: To decide if I need to lose more
Just Keep On Keepin' On

Last edited by linJber : 09-15-2011 at 09:44 PM.
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Old 09-15-2011, 09:47 PM   #8
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Welcome, Jen! Knowing that you're ready, that's the first step...you're there. About a year and a half ago, I reached that point, too. I'd had enough, it was time, I was ready. I haven't looked back since. You can do this!! Lots of support and inspiration are here for you. Lots of different plans, find one that works best for you and make it a life change. Good luck!

Link to before and after pics
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Old 09-15-2011, 10:06 PM   #9
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Wow! You have a great cheering squad here! You can do it!

Think of this as a new way of life. Take your new way of eating slow. Don't expect a lot of weight loss to be shed fast. It takes time to build your new life style of eating....or you will gain all the weightl back once you go back to your old eating habits.

We are here for you.
Food & Life Style Change
August 2011 - WW, MFP, then to Behaving Myself!

Behavior changes even though they are small to begin with, does make a difference in your life.
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Old 09-15-2011, 10:47 PM   #10
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Hi Jen, Welcome!
You have come to the right place. You will have so much support and people cheering you on and celebrating your victories.
One thing that might help is to commit to your weight loss journey for a year. Look at it like no matter what, a year is going to go by. You can work on getting healthier or you can continue to not get healthy. Commit to the year and commit to putting yourself and your diet first. You deserve this. Make time to exercise, even if it is just walking around the block and build from there. Eat a little bit healthier each week. You can do this!
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Old 09-15-2011, 11:03 PM   #11
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Hi and welcome to 3FC. Trust me when I say, "Been there, done that". I know EXACTLY how you are feeling right now. It sucks, I know it does.

I totally and completely agree with what LinJber said in her post above. I, too, couldn't do the baby steps thing. I needed a change, and I needed it fast or I was afraid I would die and leave my kiddo's motherless and my husband a Widower. I couldn't afford the risk of taking all the time in the world. I jumped in with both feet. I chose calorie counting as my plan of attack and stuck to it day after day after week after week after month after month. The weight came off pretty quickly and I felt wonderful after the first week of getting the junk out of my system. I felt so much better that I knew right then and there that there was no turning back. Cheating was not an option *for me*. I saved the treats for maintaince...

Anyway, like linJbar also said, there are many different paths. You need to find the one that works best for you. There is no "right way"...except to stick with it for the rest of your life!

Hang in there and never give up.
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Old 09-15-2011, 11:07 PM   #12
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Welcome Jen!!

I'm going to agree with Lin and suggest that while starting with baby steps can be good, there is also something to be said for just going all out. My motto on my profile here says "stick like glue" because that was what I set out to do. I have been on plan for almost 4 months and have stayed on plan every one of those days. This is the first time in my life that I have done this but crazily enough, the longer I've stayed on plan, the easier it's been!!!

I will say that I did not add exercise as part of my routine consistently until this month - I did walk some but not consistently. For me, it was enough to focus on getting my eating routine well established first, as that is generally the primary basis for losing weight - the exercise definitely helps and it's great for fitness and toning but following the correct eating plan is going to be a far, far biggest aspect of the weight loss itself.
Restart 1/6/13 - GOAL (for now) back to prior low

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Old 09-15-2011, 11:16 PM   #13
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FIRST....start with a big hug to you...you've made the step that so many others are dying to make....I would echo the above. If you look at the end of the road, it's going to seem overwhelming. Set small, reasonable goals...like the first 10 pounds. Think positive, talk positive and remember that healthy will feel so much better.

Here's to you and a great start

Welcome to my crazy life.....http://theythatweight.blogspot.com/

A City Girl's Guide to Faith, Weight and Sanity
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Old 09-16-2011, 10:08 AM   #14
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You can do this! Make the commitment! Take little steps at first.
Food & Life Style Change
August 2011 - WW, MFP, then to Behaving Myself!

Behavior changes even though they are small to begin with, does make a difference in your life.
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Old 09-16-2011, 10:21 AM   #15
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Hey there. So many of us can identify with your feelings. For what it's worth, here are my tips.

1. Figure out your biggest downfall and WHEN you are doing the majority of your overeating. For me it was late night. Change that time. I started going to sleep earlier.

2. Use as many whole foods as possible--meaning unprocessed.

3. Set your house as your castle of success. Get rid of whatever it is you are having problems with. Be honest with yourself. If you can't have a jar of peanut butter, DON'T! I even lock up things from myself.

You can do this. There is no reason you can't. Decide today that you are worth it. Time will pass anyway so you might as well decide that when you look back in thirty days, you will have experienced success. The hardest part is getting going. Just do it.

You have absolutely, unequivocally, found the very best place for not JUST support but REAL ANSWERS! If you are legit in your efforts, you will find what you need here.

"Be who you are, say what you feel. Those who matter, don't mind. Those who mind, don't matter." --Dr. Seuss
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