[Curvaliscious]

I have an 11 yr old boy as well. I've noticed that a lot of elementary kids are a little on the heavier side and I've decided on of the reasons is they are now more independent and tend to feed and get snacks for themselves. Now comes teaching about healthy choices and making sure they have options.

My boy isn't active and is kind of on the kind heavier side. In fact, a doctor chewed me out over it. He doesn't look overweight with a double chin and big tummy, but he just kind of is. On top of it, he broke his foot this summer, so it's been a lot of sitting around. Poor guy!

I too have invited him on walks (when he was able to). He also hears me constantly counting calories and is now more aware of calories in drinks, etc. Once in a while he'll talk about the labels. He understands that because of his foot and not being able to move as much, that he has to eat less as well.

My boy thinks he's fat and that just kills me. I know he's sees himself through us (his parents). He's no where near as overweight as us.

It comes down to modeling and I'm doing my best (on most days) to do that.

Best wishes to you!

[Sophronia]

Thank you so much for the thoughts and advice!

At long last, I was able to chat privately with my son. (My youngest daughter was walking with us, and it's a private chat kind of topic.) He said nothing in particular triggered his weight concern, and he's not really that concerned about it. It bothers him sometimes, but when I probed for a trigger, he couldn't identify one.

But you can't live in this country 10 minutes without getting the message that skinnier is better. I admire Michelle Obama and her desire to help fight the serious problem of childhood obesity (and deal with the stupid comments people make about her weight, even though I think she looks great), but it's impossible to hear the message that this is something under your control without also concluding that it's your "fault" and you're "doing something wrong." It's a tough, tough tightrope to navigate.

And even boys are being inundated with body image messages. I like to watch Superhero cartoons with my boys. Thor in the 1960s was muscular. Thor in the 2010 Avengers series has a chest and arms so large that one of his arms has to outweigh the impossibly slender Jane Foster. Same with Superman. The current cartoon version dwarfs the 1930s version. The Hulk of the cartoon has to outweigh the well-built Lou Ferrigno by 100 pounds of pure muscle.

And enough pointless venting. He wants to give up soda except for an occasional treat. I told him I would provide Crystal light packets or frozen fruit pieces to add to water or whatever he wants to aid the transition (and beyond the transition. Not a big fan of artificial sweeteners, but not going to burden the sweet boy with my twisted need for perfection). Other than that, he just wants to continue eating lots of fruits and add some more veggies and keep going on walks and playing basketball, etc. And look forward to his growth spurts.

I'm so grateful for the help. He doesn't need calorie counting in his life. But exercise and healthy food are things he could definitely use. Interestingly enough, his older brother (not the one who teases him sometimes) has decided to forgo soda too. Yay for limiting liquid sugar!

[Arctic Mama]

You're doing wonderfully, we get so many conflicting messages as parents and it can be hard to sort through what is and isn't wise advice. Keep teaching him how to nourish himself well, encouraging his hobbies and activities, and loving on him regardless. That is the best any parent can do.