3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

Thread Tools
Old 07-23-2011, 11:10 PM   #1
Senior Member
Curvaliscious's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 305

S/C/G: 256/204/130

Height: 5'4"

Default Please let me vent!

So I know I'm writing this more for me than anyone else and I hate to take up space on this forum, but if I don't vent I'm going to explode!

We still have company. And when this company is here they, and my husband, like to sit. All day. ALL day! Company likes to have wine, mixed drinks and make sweets. It was Oreo Truffles the other day and today it was home made cinnamon buns. Then more grazing and sitting.

I'm surprised I'm a chunk, because I do like to keep busy. And if I dont' make things happen at home, they don't. I love my husband. He works hard at work and is great with the kids but when it comes to keeping up a house it doesn't happen. So....while they sat and sat I weeded and edged the garden. I usually mow the lawn too. Yes, great calorie burning for me, but still. My husband said they talked about the fact that I dont' like to stay home. It's not that I don't like to....I just like to be productive at least every other day!!

So fine, I'm a complete wimp and gave in and had a cinnamon bun. Fine. Two! I'm thinking yard work burned some of it off. I don't like to cook and haven't been great about doing so while company is here. They grazed so much that we decided to not cook, but pick something up. I usually share with my husband, but get some chips with it too. He told me "NO"!! No chips. Normally this would be ok, but I"m edgy and restless and he is clueless. AND he told me know in front of company. So then I was edgy, restless, embarrassed and pissed! He said I didn't need it and didn't want it. Really? In front of company?? I know you're all going to take his side and maybe tomorrow I'll see things differently. However, tonight I think he needs to sleep on the couch.

As much as I love them, I really need for company to go.

Next Goal: 195
Curvaliscious is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-23-2011, 11:30 PM   #2
lottie63's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 2,709

S/C/G: 344/321/220

Height: 5'5


I'm not taking his side for sure! That's just wrong. Sometimes if we're out with bf's parents and he wants junk I will squeeze his leg, just because I know he's thinking he's out and needs to splurge and sometimes we forget we're even trying. But I would never think to say no to him.
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it's the courage to continue that counts." --Winston Churchill\

Check out my weight loss blog!: www.beyondwillpower.blogspot.com
lottie63 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 12:14 AM   #3
is recommitted
rakel's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 860

S/C/G: 338/see sig/150

Height: 5'6"


I hate it when someone tells me not to eat something in public. My father, although well-intentioned, used to do it to me as a child. It was completely embarrassing. To get revenge I would go back and eat more when he wasn't looking. I was only a kid so I didn't realize that my spite only hurt myself.

My husband will do this sometimes, but not usually in public, and if so very discreetly. Sometimes I appreciate it, but others, it sends me back into when I was kid and I get mad. It's nice that he keeps me accountable, but on the other hand I like to make my own decisions and I'm sure you feel the same way. I don't think it's right to do it in front of others, that's just humiliating.

FIRST GOAL: 50lbs by 05/2012 | My Blog | Swagbucks

rakel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 12:37 AM   #4
Hoping for 160 by NYE!
sevencallmemom's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Location: O-k-l-a-h-o-m-a...Oklahoma!
Posts: 155

S/C/G: 323/ticker/150

Height: 5'7


Oh man, not cool at all. It might have been alright to say that in private (I wouldn't take it very well, personally), but it was out of line to say it in front of company...ESPECIALLY after all the snacking they've all been doing.
Trish, wife to one since 8-96 and momma to 7 ages 4-14

sevencallmemom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 01:44 AM   #5
Made of Starstuff
Lovely's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 8,731


I'm sending out patience vibes to your neck of the woods.

It's one thing if your husband asks you privately if you -really- want the chips, but another to reprimand you in front of company. Not good.

You have it within you to be good to yourself while the company is here. Keep busy, and keep your hands off the sweets! Before you know it they'll be gone, and you'll be back to normal.
~Made of star stuff~
Lovely is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 01:46 AM   #6
Le geek, c'est chic
Nola Celeste's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Metairie, LA
Posts: 1,213

S/C/G: 232/see ticker/150ish

Height: 5'2" and change


Oh, no WAY am I taking his side!

It is not anyone else's place to govern your food intake. You're a grown-*** woman, not a child; what he did was thoughtless and patronizing. It's even more outrageous considering how you spent your day fending off the temptation to sit there and scarf treats as he did. (More power to you for that, by the way, and for stopping at a couple of cinnamon buns.)

Keeping busy is always good. Stay at it while your company is visiting; by the time they leave, they'll have picked up five pounds and you won't have joined them in that.

And tell your husband that he is not the Chip Police! Grr!
Nola Celeste is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 02:45 AM   #7
Senior Member
JOLINA's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 595


They like wine and mixed drinks ALL DAY?
Who supplies the liquor?
My parents had a few relatives that would stop by to visit MAINLY for "free drinks". They rarely invited my mom and dad to their place. They were out for the freebies.

Maybe you need to pour off half of each bottle into another one and hide it.
My dad started bringing out just a half bottle of liquor to make mixed drinks.
As soon as the drinkers saw the bottle was empty, then they would leave.

Instead of a 4-5 hour stay, the visit would end in a couple of hours. Maybe this approach would work for you.

JOLINA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 03:22 AM   #8
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 146

S/C/G: 278/256/145ish

Height: 5'5"


No way. Not okay. He isn't with you 24 hours a day. He is incapable of policing you. You can eat enough calories within a few hours to sabotage an entire day. So why would he mess with your head and antagonize you? And worse yet, to embarrass you? This is your journey - your choices. You can eat cinnamon buns and chips and still lose weight. Probably not the quickest or healthiest way, and I wouldn't guess they're a part of your plan, but at least theoretically, they could be. But people can go off plan and still continue to lose weight, as long as they get back on.

Hang in there! And yay for you to vent here instead of burying your anger in Oreo truffles and sweet buns!
Sophronia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 03:44 AM   #9
astrophe's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,855

Height: 5'8"


Not cool. Def not taking his side. Who made him the food police?

But what have your learned from this? Maybe company needs to stay somewhere else next time? Like a hotel? Because while visiting is fun, it doesn't sounds like you are getting enough of your own space and down time. Always having to be "on" as the hostess is wearying.

Started Jan 2016:
astrophe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 06:24 PM   #10
Senior Member
linJber's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Location: NW PA
Posts: 1,609

S/C/G: 255/holding at 162/160

Height: 5'-7"


Did you really think any one of us would take his side? OK, I'll say it - you didn't need the chips. If we're honest about it no one ever NEEDS chips! But would I say it in public? In front of company? NO. He was wrong, and he probably realized it as soon as he said it. I know from a different thread that these are his parents visiting, right? No matter how long you've been together, they probably revert back to life before he was with you when they're together. Not necessarily cool, but probably the way it is. Just get through it and move on. Everything will be back to normal soon. I hope the time goes quickly.


Life style change started on Jan 13, 2011. I was going to lose 100 pounds by Christmas.
I lost 93 pounds by Oct 1, 2011 and am holding there for now. We'll see what happens.
New goal: To maintain at about 160 Final Goal: To decide if I need to lose more
Just Keep On Keepin' On
linJber is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 07:22 PM   #11
Senior Member
envelope's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 1,712

Height: 5' 8"


I am not taking his side, but if someone had over heard the conversation I had with hubby tonight (who wants to lose weight but has sweet cravings )they would think I was just as wrong as your hubby with the chips. "Honey, how many cookies have you had today? Do you really want another?"

Yet this morning when we were at Cosco, I said "Your not really buying the chocolate chip cookies are you?" To which he said, "I want to take them to work tomorow." Sounded reasonable to me, he wanted to bring in something to work, and he would only end up having a few. Then when we got home he said, "Why did you let me buy the chocolate chip cookies, I can not stop eating them."

Sooooo...have you ever had a similar conversation with your husband?

I hope you are able to enjoy some time with your company, and that they are on their way home soon. It is always nice to have company, but nice when they leave too!!!

envelope is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 09:43 PM   #12
Asses 2 Ash/Guts 2 Dust
JamiSue3916's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 740

S/C/G: 292/ticker/175

Height: 5'8"


Yikes! I agree with everyone here too and I'm definitely not on his side. There's a time and a place for providing that kind of support and that really didn't sound like it and yea, it sounds like it could have been a little more tactful. I'm sure he did with good intentions but you know what they say about that.
~ Jami

“Commitment lasts longer than motivation. Motivation is fleeting and fickle. Enjoy it while it's there, but don't rely on it.“ -Lovely (3FC)

"What we hope ever to do with ease we may learn first to do with diligence." - Samuel Johnson

4th mini-goal: 246.2 1/2 way to ONEderland!

One for every 10lbs lost!

Check out my blog: http://jamivillarreal.blogspot.com/
JamiSue3916 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2011, 11:43 PM   #13
Senior Member
MrsTee's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Melbourne Australia
Posts: 424


I HATE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mum used to do that to me. And yep, she'd say don't have a biscuit so I'd have 134.

it's never ever right to do that. I'd be telling him that too!

How to get rid of the in-laws a whole other issue...

Christmas goal - 110 kilos Reached 19.12.2011
MrsTee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2011, 10:27 AM   #14
Senior Member
sept15lija's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,680

S/C/G: 201/198.6/140

Height: 5'4"


Nope, definitely not OK at all! And I am not a sitter either - I can't stand just sitting around. I would have been like you, up and doing things. I can barely stand to sit and watch TV for any length of time. I will admit I have talked to my husband about his food choices (and he has mentioned mine at times) but if we do say anything it's most definitely in private...yesterday I asked him how he would like me to support him in his current effort to lose 10 pounds and shared some tips I used to avoid temptation, because I had noticed he ate something extra when no one was around (he's not great at cleaning up evidence )....what I mentioned was that once I realized that everything I ate added up even if no one saw me (really silly but private scarfing down type eating was a huge problem for me...and I think part of me really believed those calories didn't count or something! ). Realizing it all adds up helped me kick the habit....anyways I just shared that with him but I would never "police" him in any way, even in private.
Journey Started: June 22, 2010 (233 lbs)
Met Goal: June 22, 2011 (133 lbs)
Starting again - March 1, 2018

Last edited by sept15lija; 07-25-2011 at 10:28 AM.
sept15lija is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2011, 10:39 AM   #15
Senior Member
Dorian5's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 426

S/C/G: 162/154.0/115

Height: 5'4"


Originally Posted by Curvaliscious View Post
He said I didn't need it and didn't want it. Really? In front of company?? I know you're all going to take his side and maybe tomorrow I'll see things differently.

There is no one on this planet that better try to tell me what I can and can't eat. And vice versa, if I'm having a salad and my boyfriend is have a double bacon cheeseburger, that's not my concern whatsoever.

Shedding for the wedding!

One bat for every 5 pounds lost!
Dorian5 is offline   Reply With Quote

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
New 21-Day Challenge!! -- Please join me!! redballoon Support Groups 382 07-25-2005 10:06 PM
Just gotta vent! Skindeep Beauty Alternachicks 14 08-04-2003 07:08 PM

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:16 PM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2