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Old 07-20-2011, 10:17 AM   #1
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Sorry to vent, but I just need some place to get this out.

I gained 20 pounds this past winter. I always seem to have a problem with winter weight gain. And now I just can't seem to get my head back in the game and get started on losing it. I have been at 247 ever since the gaining stopped in June. Every day I say I am going to stick to my calories, but I just can't seem to do it. I feel and look terrible.

Adding to the stress are several upcoming social engagements where there will likely be pictures taken. I have a bit of social anxiety, so these are stressing me out. I know I would feel better and more confident if my weight were lower.

Gah! I don't know what I need. A swift kick in the rear, a hug, or maybe just a pep talk. Why is this so hard?

Right now I would be happy to lose just one pound.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:33 AM   #2
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A little of both and then some?

Firstly, maintaining since June is a success. No ifs ands or buts about it. The mere act of STOPPING weight gain is successful. It might not always look that way from the inside, but it IS.

Your own signature says "persistence, not perfection". Are you trying to get back into the swing of things too quickly? Aiming for perfectly keeping within your calories when even writing everything down would be an improvement?

You could always move your calories to maintenance level and then skim off 100 calories instead of 500. It might not be fast weight loss, but you'd be aiming to maintain and lose maybe a pound or two a month. Which would give you the chance to slide back into a routine. Then lower the calories as you get used to tracking, again!

You can do this!
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:54 AM   #3
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Well... 2 things.

1... Sounds like you really don't want to put forth the effort to lose the weight right now. That's ok, it takes a lot of self reflection and discipline to start and stay with a program that may be different from how you've been recently living your life. If you want to change though, you're going to have to stop dreaming of success, wake up, and actually work hard at it. You haven't gained any weight, that is good! But why are you getting upset about not being thinner when you haven't put the effort into the actions that it takes to lose weight? It sounds like you're stressing out about your perceived failure and the truth is you haven't failed yet. You CAN still do this, but you have to try. Examine WHY you're not sticking to your caloric needs. One thing that helped me was making EVERYTHING I was going to eat for the week on Sunday. Breakfast was in a baggy already preportioned, lunch was made so I could grab it and go, dinners were cooked and frozen in tuppaware. I give myself maybe 200 extra calories to have a little snack or a glass of wine with dinner but having things to eat takes ALL the pressure off of being an angel with my meals. There is never a reason to eat out or eat too much.

2. Don't focus on weight loss, as weird as that sounds. I just do what I have to do because it all takes time. Let this be a reason to move forward with getting back on plan.

I know you're probably looking for motivation but it's not always going to be there and we can only offer our words. You are the one that is going to have to do this.

Good Luck!
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:12 AM   #4
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I've used the quote in your signature to get me through some rough patches. Now it's time for you to use mine. You really do just have to choose to get back on that horse. One lil' decision at a time.

1. Decide to put your boots back on.
2. Pick out your favorite cowgirl hat.
3. Put that foot in the foot thingy,
4. And swing that leg over,
5. Then BAM...you're riding again girlfriend!!!
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:59 AM   #5
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I was in a very similar place - had put back on most of the 40+ lbs I lost a couple of years ago, and kept making half hearted attempts to get started again, but it never stuck.

What has worked great for me was totally shaking things up by trying a new diet plan. I had been calorie counting and I know that works great for so many people, but my motivation to get back into the swing of it didn't happen. So now I'm doing the Dukan Diet, which I think is kind of crazy - definitely a bit of a more extreme plan that I would have rolled my eyes at before. But I LOVE it - I find it so much easier to stick with than calorie counting.

I'm not suggesting that you try Dukan specifically, just the idea of a fresh start with a new plan. It really helped me get going again.
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Old 07-20-2011, 10:43 PM   #6
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Maybe you need to focus on what works best for you instead of jumping into something because you think you "need" to. Take the time to read up on different eating plans or options. Spend your weekend or free time cleaning out the fridge and pantry so you'll have room for the good-for-you things when you decide to shop for them.

I've had a weight issue for most of my life, losing and gaining. Recently, I decided it was time to get serious about it but I didn't jump head first. I wanted to try Atkins so I bought the book and didn't start until I had read through the Induction phase. I lost weight but decided it wasn't the right plan for me after a few weeks. I started reading online about my old standby, Weight Watchers and decided to join a couple of weeks later. I haven't felt pressured, deprived or disappointed in myself this time around.

I'd like to lose more quickly but some of that has to do with the amount of effort I put in some weeks. Losing slowly is better than not losing at all. And "kudos" to you because maintaining is better than gaining. You'll do it when it feels right.
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Old 07-21-2011, 11:46 AM   #7
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ugh, we've all been there at varying times I'm sure! I know I used to diet whole hog (heh) for about 6 days and then was astonished I wasn't "done" yet hahah "I didn't eat mcdonalds for a week, what do you mean i'm not skinny now???"

So many people believe in commitment, which to me is just a word. I 'committed' every Monday morning of my adult life to a diet, and it doesn't work for me. Motivation doesn't much work for me either, it comes and goes and is not reliable.

Eventually, I treated my "renovation plan" as work. I never let anyone down at work. Ever. I scheduled time for myself just like I did for housework. I never DIDN'T do housework or laundry, and I'm just as important as that LOL

I didn't always love doing it, but then again I don't love scrubbing toilets either, but I have to do it and never miss it. It was difficult at first but then became very routine just like all my other 'chores' in life that must be done.

Whatever works for you, whatever little trigger in your brain that goes "oh right that IS a good idea" is what will work for you! Begrudging every minute, feeling pressured or that you MUST do something can be soul crushing! Remember to be happy, be in & of the world, take the focus off yourself for a while and get your head right and then back at 'er!

t.
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Old 07-21-2011, 12:43 PM   #8
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Sometimes the mental/emotional reasons we hang on to weight are hard to figure out. Sometimes it is as simple as "I don't wanna stop eating yummy stuff!!" Try to sit down and think it through and sort out WHY you want to lose weight and what makes you uncomfortable about losing weight, too.
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Old 07-21-2011, 04:33 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadameZombie View Post
Well... 2 things.

It sounds like you're stressing out about your perceived failure and the truth is you haven't failed yet. Good Luck!
Wow, that really struck me... I'm recovering from a weight backslide myself now and starting again... I've been really dwelling on failing but I guess if I'm honest I hadn't really been TRYING not to eat junk while I was busy gaining some weight back. So I guess I'm not a failure.
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