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my mother is supportive but....

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Old 06-18-2011, 08:25 PM   #1
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Default my mother is supportive but....

she just doesn't get it. When I mention in passing about at some point needing to buy new clothes, her response is that she thinks I will always need to wear this size. I'm currently a 2 or 3X because I have broad shoulders and rib cage and big boobs and I know I am never going to get tiny. But I also know that I'm not going to lose 50-100 lbs (my final goal will be a moving target until I get closer to figure it out!) and stay the same size. My shoulders and boobs are not THAT big! lol!

In general, she's supportive - she asks a lot about my plan, tries to make sure I've got foods I can eat if I am over there, asks about the weight loss numbers and is very excited and enthusiastic and is adamant that she sees a big difference already even though I don't see any. So I don't know why this size thing is such a blind spot.

I figured there are others in a similar situation and even if we can't really fix it, at least we can vent together!
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Old 06-18-2011, 08:37 PM   #2
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My sister was heavy about 60 pounds over weight.. maybe more.. And big framed/ big bones.. She lost all her weight and now is tiny.. you will be suprised how you will look once the weight passes. - so dont be too sure until your all done.. keep the faith.. dont listen what other say.. Trust in yourself!
she went from like size 18 to 4-6..
good luck
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Old 06-18-2011, 09:55 PM   #3
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LOL.

Maybe it'd just be easier to not mention that sort of thing to her at all?
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Old 06-18-2011, 10:39 PM   #4
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Don't worry about it. When you clothes shop, you are the one trying things on, not her.

It's nice that she's generally supportive though -- that's a plus!

A.
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Old 06-18-2011, 11:07 PM   #5
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I know it's not for some time, but... I might wait to show her your final size! Hold onto a shirt from your highest weight, and then compare it to a shirt you wear at goal.

She'll "get it" then!
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Old 06-19-2011, 02:55 AM   #6
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The majority of my brothers and sisters and even my best friend all tell me that I look fabulous, but at the same time they're all like "Don't get any smaller.... you're already tiny and I just can't picture you any smaller!" Lmao! That's just cos this is the smallest I've ever been in any of their memories! Actually, I'm about 20 to 30lbs smaller than I was ever until now.... being as I was 196 in 8th grade! So I tell them hey, if I got this small and you're okay with it, how come you can't picture me even smaller?
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Old 06-19-2011, 11:03 AM   #7
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Quote:
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Don't worry about it. When you clothes shop, you are the one trying things on, not her.

It's nice that she's generally supportive though -- that's a plus!

A.
yes, exactly, it is nice to have a cheerleader!

I guess I'll try to make a conscious effort to not talk about clothing, although it hasn't been like I've brought it up specifically to talk about, it's more something I've mentioned when it's come up in context.

And yes, eventually, she'll just realize she's been wrong!!
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Old 06-19-2011, 02:15 PM   #8
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I have really big arms, legs, shoulders and chest too. I started out wearing a 32 (2 sizes too large for Lane Bryant) and although I lose weight in my waist first, those other body parts do eventually catch up.

You may be surprised at how small your shoulders and chest get. Before I gained back 50 lbs, I could wear size L tops and a 36DD bra - really, everything will shrink. I will never be narrow-shouldered because I'm really muscular, but my shoulders were proportionate to the rest of my smaller body. And will be again.
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Old 06-19-2011, 07:21 PM   #9
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Mom's love us the way we are and she might be saying that so you won't feel disappointed if there isn't much of a change. I kept one size 2X t-shirt, one 2X sweatshirt, and one pair of size 24 jeans. The rest of my big clothes have been given away. When I get to within 1 size of my goal, I may keep a few things, but I don't want to have much to fall back on, so if I start moving up the scale, I won't have anything to wear and will have to keep it in check. Not sure how that will work, but I certainly don't want to keep my really big clothes around.

If you do the same - one pair of pants or a shirt - the visual picture will speak for itself after 30 pounds or so. Then maybe your mom will begin to see the "new you", so to speak. It's great that she supports you in your efforts. Another thought - maybe she's afraid you will want to rush out and buy a whole new wardrobe every 10 pounds and wants to help you be frugal!

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Old 06-20-2011, 08:35 AM   #10
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If you do the same - one pair of pants or a shirt - the visual picture will speak for itself after 30 pounds or so. Then maybe your mom will begin to see the "new you", so to speak. It's great that she supports you in your efforts. Another thought - maybe she's afraid you will want to rush out and buy a whole new wardrobe every 10 pounds and wants to help you be frugal!
I definitely won't be running out to buy new clothes in 10 lbs or even 30 lbs! I lost over 40 a couple of years ago and was a bit dismayed to find out that most of my clothes continued to fit. A few things got too big to wear, but surprisingly few. Part of it is that even with 40+ lbs, I was still broad shouldered and big boobed so shirts did get looser esp. around the middle but not really too big to wear at all. But I know I will be going well beyond 40 lbs, so I expect that to change more. I'm a big believe in the paper towel roll theory that I've read about on 3FC, that as you get smaller, a smaller number of lbs lost starts to have a much greater impact on the way you look/clothing size. Looking forward to getting to that point for myself when losing 10-14 lbs starts to to really show!
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Old 06-21-2011, 07:44 PM   #11
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my mom is generally supportive to. and i am definetly not far into my journey yet but in the last two months of the beginning of the rest of my life. my mother has asked if i do drugs, if i eat, if i throw up, and if im depressed.

so i tell her no i dont do drugs.
when im around her i eat my snacks and meals in front of her.
i tell her no i hate throwing up. joke and tell her i tried it once though. (im kind of a sarcastic person lol)
and i tell her im happier then i ever have been.

she loves me, cares, and wants me to be healthy and happy. so i know that this is new territory for me as well as all my loved ones. so, so far, i remind my self all the time. they may not know how to handle this situation either. : )
hope that helps.
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Old 06-21-2011, 07:54 PM   #12
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When your pants start to get loose show her how much too big they are. I looked like I was wearing football shpulder pads, that all went away or enough that I began to wear much smaller sizes.
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