[Avezy44]

A girl I was friends with on Facebook recently posted a status saying that because she hadn't reached a weightloss goal she was going to stop eating all together before her fiance got back from basic in 2 weeks. When I told her it was extremely unhealthy to do that and she would kill her metabolism and at some point start to do damage that can't be reversed she said "Well I lost 80lbs this way and it hasn't killed me yet".

I deleted her after I tried to argue it a little bit farther because I knew that nothing I would say would make any kind of difference.. she had an answer for everything. My question is this, do you think she was announcing it on facebook for help/sympathy or do you think she was lying? I know of 1 other person with one that wont admit it to anyone... especially on facebook.. and I know that I probably wouldn't either. I really think she was lying but why would someone say something like that?

[AriesNV]

I had a friend like this, as well. She's still losing weight, and she still struggles to keep food down. She gets weird anxiety attacks and has to throw-up anything she consumes. She's always obsessed about everything, and I think she partly does thinks for attention. Everyone seems to know about her disorder, including her parents, and no one does anything about it....or they just encourage it. Hence why we WERE friends. I don't have the patience for someone that needs help but refuse to accept it or attempt to help themselves.

I think you did the right thing by deleting her and not giving her the attention she's obviously craving. If someone really wanted help, they'd seek it, or wouldn't fight it if it was offered. It's her life, let her destroy it.

[Avezy44]

I have a friend like the one you described too.. well.. she's not really my friend.. more like a family member of a friend. She doesn't know why she does it and everyone knows because she got sent away to therapy a few years ago. It didn't really help though, she still does it and she blames it on everyone but herself. I don't have the patience either I just was kind of wondering why people do stupid stuff like that or if they just say they do it.

[Lori Bell]

I have a friend who always claims to be on a diet, and says she doesn't eat. But she does, it's just that she doesn't eat regular meals...because she snacks ALL DAY LONG. I wouldn't worry about this chick. Doesn't sound like you were really friends anyway, if she was so easily deleted! LOL She must have been more like just another number to add to the "friends list".

[littleliar13]

one of my best friends in teh whole world lied about a ton of stuff (like eating disorders, getting pregnant, etc.) and it turns out she needed attention because she didnt feel like she was getting enough at home. maybe the girl you know is trying to compensate for something. i think someone who does stuff like this has something psychologically wrong because a person with a healthy mind wouldn't do this....but i dont know im not a doctor!

[linJber]

Sounds like an attention getting ploy to me. High maintenance friendships - even on Facebook - are a drain on a person. We need to be uplifted - not dragged down. We need this all the time, not just while dieting. But more so while we are struggling. Just keep a safe distance.

If this is someone you have known and had a close relationship with for a long time rather than just a friend on Facebook, perhaps staying in touch in case she needs real help would be a better idea than deleting her. If it's a casual or strictly Facebook friendship, you did the right thing.

Lin

[krampus]

I would have egged her on and acted fake-supportive personally but I'm a horrible person

[Avezy44]

I was pretty good friends with her older sister for a while, the whole family has changed for the weird in the last few years.. I don't really know what goes on in that house or in their life in general. She used to talk about working out a lot and eating healthy so I that is a part of the reason why I think she was lying about not eating.. I haven't really called myself a friend to her or her sister in a couple of years now so I just figured it was time to move along. If she needs help she has a supportive family that will when she asks for it.

[AriesNV]

Originally Posted by krampus

I would have egged her on and acted fake-supportive personally but I'm a horrible person

hahah I did that with my bulimic "friend" too...After we went out to eat per HER request, she'd want to throw-up after because "She could feel the cheeseburger in her stomach" and it made her feel disgusted with herself. She knew she had a problem, and I personally didn't believe it was a disorder...I think it was mainly her that just wanted to lose weight, and she could have definitely stopped -- in my opinion -- from doing it.

So, I'd get fed up from trying to stop her and say "Here, let me shove my finger down your throat, it's longer" or "How about you pay for the bill since you're so good at wasting $ on food you're just going to feed to the bushes."

[girlonfire]

I can only speak from my experience and knowledge, but in general eating disorders tend to be intensely private and secretive. I hope I am not overstepping my bounds, but it seems to me that posting a Facebook status about no longer eating is more of a ploy for attention and to fish for compliments than a legitimate, serious eating disorder. From what I know of eating disorders, they carry a lot of shame and secrecy and publicizing it like this girl did isn't usually an aspect of that.

But I could be wrong. She could be suffering from an eating disorder and reaching out in the only way she knows. Just my two cents.

[tigerchild]

I think it's really hard to judge what's really going on in someone's head and life by what they post on FB. She may be fishing for attention, but honestly--it's her FB and she can post whatever she wants, if other people don't like it they don't have to respond or they can drop her. It's totally understandable and not bad at all that you'd want to just not have to deal with her anymore!

I would take that statement as her basically showing that she's feeling very anxious and out of control right now though (since you asked). (not too surprising, if her partner has been separated from her for awhile--as a military brat, I can tell you that there's a lot of obsession/anxiety/fear/worry that accompanies transitions, even "good" ones like your servicemember returning to you). It could be that she wasn't really asking/looking for advice, which is why when you chimed in with some you got a defensive reaction. There's nothing like FB for getting that kind of cross-communication going!

If I thought that I could post about my feelings/fears over binging and dealing with that disorder without being shamed and having reactions of disgust, there are times that I probably would consider doing that too--for the support, hugs, and sometimes my desire to have people I like express their care for me. I think that posting about how won't/can't eat is marginally more socially acceptable than "Wow, it's taking everything I have in me not to go to the store and buy a family size bag of doritos and eat it until I feel like puking, please someone give me a hug and tell me that I'm going to be okay!" because people would have exactly the same reaction "What a disgusting person!" "What an attention slut!" "OMG gross!".

So I am sympathetic to this person, a little jealous, but OTOH I so totally get just being done! Esp. since you know her personally. Sometimes when you know that someone knows better or that they're a princess, it makes it really hard not to want to sharpen your claws on them or whack them upside the head with a clue by four (which then tends to make YOU look like the bad guy, esp. on FB!). Sounds like you had on your best FB behavior, kudos to you!