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Why I don't get the "you look like you've lost weight" comments

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Old 06-02-2011, 02:08 PM   #1
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Default Why I don't get the "you look like you've lost weight" comments

I see so many posts where people are wondering why nobody seems to notice their weight loss. I've also heard posters saying that others finally noticed their weight losses when they had reached anywhere from 25-30 pounds lost. But, the one thing I think a lot of us forget is that the actual number is relative when it comes to changes in your body. Not all 26 pounds are created equally.

When I do the math, it kinda makes sense to me why no one has commented on my weight loss. I started at 278. My goal is 150 pounds. That means I had approximately 128 extra pounds of insulation on these tired bones at the beginning of my journey. Therefore, my percentage of fat loss is 20% or 1/5th of my extra insulation. Now, to compare. If a 200 pound woman with the same 150 pound goal also loses 26 pounds, her loss is 52% or 1/2 of her insulation! So, yeah...okay. I can see why people haven't noticed my weight loss yet. I've not lost that big of a percentage to be as noticeable. And, this post has been all about the math. I've not even yet considered where I hold most of my weight and where it has chosen to come off first. LOL These hips don't lie, yet the "girls" have decided to go first.
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Old 06-02-2011, 02:42 PM   #2
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The only person who has noticed my weight loss who didn't already know was my manicurist. Other than that - nothing. But I have to be realistic. At my high weight, my weight loss has just taken me to a lesser degree of fatness. I bet I have to get closer to 100 lost before people will notice enough to say anything. It's just not drastic yet.

Plus, I think people notice that maybe I look better, but don't want to offend by mentioning it. I am not worried, soon enough the day will come that no one will recognize me! Then I can pick who I want to be friends with!!!
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Old 06-02-2011, 02:43 PM   #3
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I have people comment "You lost it so fast". I didn't lose it fast, they just happened to notice it even though I had been melting away for quite sone time.
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:12 PM   #4
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I lost about 20 pounds and no one has said anything. I think they are being polite and/or haven't really noticed. I lose evenly so it's hard for me to even notice.
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:17 PM   #5
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Nobody has noticed I've lost anything with the exception of my kids and my daycare kids. One of them told me I had a little more room on my lap lol I am hoping as I go grown ups will start to see my efforts
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:22 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by amyrose310 View Post
One of them told me I had a little more room on my lap lol
Okay, that is really cute!

I'm down just over 20 and no one has really noticed either. Though, like MadameZombie, I lose mine pretty evenly so I think it'll take more for others to notice. My mom says it all the time but she's biased! My oldest son did tell me that he can fit his arms around me...that one meant the most that's for sure!
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:25 PM   #7
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Please also remember that some people may notice your weight loss already but are afraid to say anything. I never realized how much offence some people take at weight loss compliments until I started reading here and other places. I know I'll never make a comment again to a anyone about their weight loss...(except those I love and are very close to). Even then, they would have to bring it up first.
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:30 PM   #8
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Please also remember that some people may notice your weight loss already but are afraid to say anything.
This is actually a really good point! I know it's helped for me to discuss my journey with those I see daily - even co-workers. It's great to get the moral support but also seems to make them more comfortable in paying compliments or asking how I'm doing.
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Old 06-02-2011, 03:41 PM   #9
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For me a few people noticed when I lost the first 25 pounds but it was people who knew I was on a weight loss journey other people really started noticing at 50 pounds and diffently at 75 pounds now at 90 pounds one of my chillds teacher from last year at my kids school didnt even reconize me till they saw me with my child lol. It will come and I relized at 285 pounds 5 to 10 pounds lost didnt really show when I got around 220 pounds 5 to 10 pounds really shows.
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Old 06-02-2011, 04:02 PM   #10
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It took me 30 pounds and NEW CLOTHES.

I always have to bring up the clothes thing. The comments will come sooner when you make the leap from "I think I can still wear this" to "There's no way I can get away with this -- I need to get something new that fits."

And yes, my experience echoes Lori's. Particularly in the workplace, people are not so fast to comment on women's bodies, for very good reasons.

And it depends on the individual. So I've lost over 107 pounds ... but one guy I worked with never said a word about the changes I'd undergone until two weeks ago, after he was laid off & lost his job. Responding to my "best wishes, sorry" e-mail, he wrote back saying he admired my dramatic weight loss & also my keeping it off. This is the first I'd ever heard from him on this subject. Mind you, my cubicle was just several feet away from this man's throughout my whole weight loss effort, which started in January 2006. So it's May 2011 and NOW he spoke up about it .... (Then again one of the reasons he was laid off was his habit of procrastination.)

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Old 06-02-2011, 04:13 PM   #11
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I also think the people who see us regularly are the least likely to notice (because change is gradual and we look the same today as we did yesterday or last week) and the people who don't see us frequently aren't close enough for most of them to feel comfortable making such a personal comment about a change in appearance.

The only way hubby and I can see our own weight loss, or the weight loss in each other, is by looking at photographs of ourselves at higher weights.

It's one of the things that makes weight loss so difficult, is the difficulty in perceiving gradual change. Gradual change feels like no change. Even though I'm (finally) having to buy smaller clothes, I still don't see a difference in the mirror, because I look the same today as I did yesterday, and the day before....
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Old 06-02-2011, 04:34 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saef View Post
It took me 30 pounds and NEW CLOTHES.

I always have to bring up the clothes thing. The comments will come sooner when you make the leap from "I think I can still wear this" to "There's no way I can get away with this -- I need to get something new that fits."

And yes, my experience echoes Lori's. Particularly in the workplace, people are not so fast to comment on women's bodies, for very good reasons.

And it depends on the individual. So I've lost over 107 pounds ... but one guy I worked with never said a word about the changes I'd undergone until two weeks ago, after he was laid off & lost his job. Responding to my "best wishes, sorry" e-mail, he wrote back saying he admired my dramatic weight loss & also my keeping it off. This is the first I'd ever heard from him on this subject. Mind you, my cubicle was just several feet away from this man's throughout my whole weight loss effort, which started in January 2006. So it's May 2011 and NOW he spoke up about it .... (Then again one of the reasons he was laid off was his habit of procrastination.)
at that last bit
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Old 06-02-2011, 04:45 PM   #13
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Yep, one of the things I had liked about being a big girl was that I could gain 20 lbs. and not even have to buy new clothes. It wasn't so fun on the way down...
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Old 06-02-2011, 05:01 PM   #14
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But, back to my original thought....yes, in terms of effort and dedication, 26 pounds is a lot of weight! In terms of noticeable changes to my body and my size, the change is really not that much yet.
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Old 06-02-2011, 05:25 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlyGirlSebas View Post
But, back to my original thought....yes, in terms of effort and dedication, 26 pounds is a lot of weight! In terms of noticeable changes to my body and my size, the change is really not that much yet.
Yes, you are spot on. Have a look at this post:
Paper Towel Theory
for another way of exploring that insight you've had.
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