Vent
 

I just want to punch my Bf in the face. Heres sitting here eating Jelly Beans and its frustrating because its disgudting me that hes chewing when he knows it isnt healthy and Im trying to do healthy. I tell him not to do it when Im around but it bothers me when he does. How do you get over somone you love is being a fatty.

When I first started my journey it use to make me SO mad my overweight husband would eat taco bell, mcdonalds, etc in front of me knowing I was on my weight loss journey. I let it go if he wants to be unhealthy and kill hisself slowly then so be it. He now sees ive lost 90 pounds in 8 months and has decided to jump on board with me hoping he sticks to it and changes his lifestyle too we cant make them change thou they have to wanna do it for themselves.

I generally don't have thoughts of physically harming someone I love or refer to his eating a snack as disgusting, nor do I think of him as "being a fatty," but if my husband's doing something that's driving me batty, I just take myself elsewhere.

It's his body, his choices, and his life. It's not my job to be his food cop, nor is it his job to be mine. I'm responsible for my own weight loss. The most he does is offer encouragement. I've got the rest of my life to spend watching other people eat jellybeans and cupcakes and chee-tos and all manner of stuff that I still kinda-sorta crave from time to time, but it's up to me to eat the little calorie-bombs or not. We can't bend the world around us, so we'd better learn to adapt ourselves to the world.

If that means going in the other room and punching a pillow or having a good cry at the unfairness of it all, then that's what it means.

Jellybeans are far from the worst thing he could sit on the couch and scarf up. At least they don't smell particularly tempting, make an appetizing crunch, or contain 500 calories a serving.

This may not be the same thing, but, I quit smoking about 18 months ago. I didn't develop that "ex smoker" thing with my friends. Most of them still smoke. I really think that these habits are personal and I think we have to let people make their own choices.

Are you disgusted with him because you want to eat those things? Or, having decided to be healthy, are you disgusted because he isn't there yet? Hang in there and try to do what is right for you.

I am on a weight loss journey of my own, and hubby still eats foods that I flat out can't have (or will not allow myself to have much at this juncture), and it's fine by me-we all have our own lives to live and when I myself was scarfing down unhealthy snacks, he didn't say anything to me about it. He is proud that I can make my own choices rather than being controlled by my cravings-and that's great. But, he still eats them, and you know, that's his choice. If you judge others, you open yourself for more judgement.

We can't control the habits of others .

You know what? Everyone else already said it. You can't be someone else's food cop. You wouldn't want them to be yours.

Unless he's waving them at you going "nyah nyah! Mine and not yours!" or burping and farting at you or being rude in some other fashion, it isn't your place to do anything about it.

If he's eating them in eating places you can't really fuss either. If he's eating them in bed with you --- well, ok, You could complain about that -- eating in the bed! But WHAT he eats is up to him, not you.

If he's just sitting there quietly eating his candy in the kitchen, what's it to you?

Think about why does it bug you.

Because seeing him have them when you are trying not to have those kinds of things makes you jealous? Upset? Angry?

We can't help how we feel, but we can do something about how we react. Don't sit there and silently seethe. Get up and don't watch him. Go somewhere else.

I know we all need to vent. Hang in there!

A.

PS: My DH is still a soda addict. It used to make ME crazy because I hated enabling the bad habit. We agreed that he would buy his soda on his own and I'd take it off the grocery list.

Our money is still our money -- it wasn't about that. It was about me not liking this bad habit of his, and not wanting to feel like I was HELPING him keep up with a bad habit.

If it is something along those lines -- maybe have BF buy his own candy and don't get it for it. Then perhaps it would be easier to let go because you have no part in his candy habit.







GL!
A.

I know someone above scolded you for wanting to hit him, but I think that’s a normal thought as long as you don't actually do it. My friends and I use the phrase "throw a vase at his head." Jokingly, of course. But if one of us complains about her DH or SO, someone always eventually says, "Just throw a vase at his head. It'll make us all feel better." Hahaha.

Anywho, like everyone else said, you can't control what he eats, but you can control being around him when he does. Walk away. Tell him you'll be back around when he's done eating them, and it's too much for you to be around right now. If you're open and honest with your feelings without being aggressive, then he may understand more.

The bottom line, though, is you have to feel comfortable and secure in yourself to tolerate/handle the situation. Right now, you may have to take the walk-away approach. I hope in the future you can be around him and cope with his eating habits. Otherwise, you may find yourself incompatible and in need of a SO who has the same lifestyle as you.

My husband went to a friend's house last night to watch the hockey game. The friend's wife made rocky road brownies, and she sent a couple home with my husband. Ordinarily, I would have gobbled those babies up. I told my husband thank you for bringing them and to thank the wife for sending them. I told my husband I can't eat them but to tell her they were delicious. ;) My husband is diabetic, so he can't eat them either. Neither of us were offended by it because we accept where we are in life.

Awe, thanks guys. Feel so much better. I will take the step away approach.