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-   -   Need Motivation (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/233604-need-motivation.html)

PenChick 05-18-2011 08:32 PM

Need Motivation
 
I have no motivation to do anything!! I don't want to get up in the morning (rather sleep), I don't want to go to work, I don't want to work out, and I really don't care what I am eating (but its not unhealthy either). How do I get motivation back into gear?

Angie 05-18-2011 09:09 PM

I honestly think this is one of those times where you have to (I HATE this expression, so forgive me) fake it till you make it. Even though you don't want to do these things, commit to something...getting up 15 minutes earlier...doing some stretches...eating more whole foods...eating less sugar or carbs...etc etc...whatever works for you. Do a little, even though you really aren't into it, just do it anyway -- like you'd promised a little kid and you're going to break his/her heart if you don't do these things -- and before long I think you'll find your motivation again. Sometimes you just have to get the ball rolling.

OMG, how many cliches did I just use in that one paragraph??? lol

JamiSue3916 05-18-2011 10:49 PM

I agree with Angie...and her cliches. ;)

Keep it simple right now; make staying OP easy for a bit. Make your plan be: to eat a vegetable you haven't eaten before, to wake up early and journal your feelings, or to spend 30 minutes by yourself in a quiet place. Something to make staying OP not seem so hard and to help focus on you and your feelings and your goals.

Big HUGS! You CAN do this!! :hug:

QuillysQuest 05-19-2011 04:42 AM

Are you just unmotivated or are you depressed as well? What kinds of thoughts are going through your head about the things you have to do during your day?

Lovely 05-19-2011 05:48 AM

This sounds like the ebb & flow of a normal life.

I don't always want to get out of bed, but I do. I don't always want to take my morning walk, but I do. I don't always want to brush my teeth, but I do. I don't always want to pay my bills, but I do.

There are times when I step up on my treadmill and there's this great swelling of oomph! And then there are days when I have to drag my *** just to stand up on it.

I think the phrase "fake it till you make it" is actually very applicable. Commitment lasts longer than motivation. Motivation is fleeting and fickle. Enjoy it while it's there, but don't rely on it. Keep going forward regardless!

ShyHeather 05-19-2011 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PenChick (Post 3855947)
I have no motivation to do anything!! I don't want to get up in the morning (rather sleep), I don't want to go to work, I don't want to work out, and I really don't care what I am eating (but its not unhealthy either). How do I get motivation back into gear?

Fake it until you make it is the best line of support out there. I know what you mean though about having days, and even WEEKS where I don't want to do anything but mop around the house.

Don't stress too much over the lack of motivation and desire to move. You will get back on track. Just keep your chin up. :)

Galatea 05-19-2011 04:44 PM

When you start feeling like that, you may want to explore whether or not you are depressed. When I start feeling that way, I have to ask myself if there is an emotional or hormonal issue that is the cause of those feelings. Some things you can do to try and relieve the feelings are to make a change one day this week, do something new...make a plan and stick to it! This too shall pass!

OXOXCHUBBY 05-19-2011 05:20 PM

i think that's normal and evreyone has days like that

exsercice ( spelling ? ) is probably just what you need for a quick pick me up

JamiSue3916 05-19-2011 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lovely (Post 3856310)
Commitment lasts longer than motivation. Motivation is fleeting and fickle. Enjoy it while it's there, but don't rely on it.

Wow! This is a great one! I'm going to remember this!

lottie63 05-19-2011 06:34 PM

if you're in the east maybe it's the weather getting to you, it's killing me, I pulled out my lightbox again and it's MAY. but SO grey!

QuillysQuest 05-20-2011 02:58 AM

I am asking about what thoughts are going through your head because I spent the last year and a half in that same unmotivated stupor and it really wasn't fun. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.

The advice to fake it til you make it definitely has its merits, and if you can do that, by all means try it. The action of doing the things you don't feel like doing may empower you to push through the haze of disinterest and move you forward on your journey by sheer momentum, waking a new passion for life.

However, I will tell you that for me, as much as I wanted to take that advice as everybody kept telling me to, I just couldn't make myself do it. Which left me feeling even worse about the situation because everybody around me kept telling me to just get up and do it, even if I don't feel like it, and while I felt on some level that they were probably right, it also made me feel that I must not be strong enough, because I didn't care whether I got out of my chair or not. I loved them for trying, I appreciated their efforts, but for me it felt like salt in the wound, and in case that's how it makes you feel, I thought I should let you know you aren't alone.

To me, it felt like nobody understood exactly how dark and dense that cloud of stagnation was, hanging about my head. It seemed like they couldn't fathom the sense of uselessness and boredom and futility I felt about myself and about the world in general. In my mind, I believed they were judging me for my inactivity, thinking that I was just lazy, making up excuses for why I didn't do anything... And that didn't even bother me much, because I didn't care.

I couldn't make myself care about anything at all. Every moment was a dull drudgery that I had to endure to get to the next and eventually be left in peace to sleep or veg in front of mindless television shows, anything to make the time pass. It wasn't as if I wanted to die, but I certainly didn't want to live either. I was stuck in this strange limbo where everything in life was grey, it had no meaning and no significance for me.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what finally brought me out of that funk, but I can tell you a few things that I did which might help.

First, I looked at the thoughts that were repetitive in my head "why bother?", "What's the point?", "Eventually I'm going to die anyway...", "There's no joy in my life, nothing to live FOR. No children, no family, no money, why not just sit here and wait for it to be over already?", "I'm as useless as everyone says I am, I haven't done anything with my life." These were things that kept going round and round in my head, and I realized they were like a song that gets stuck in your head.

This was kind of like a mini-light bulb for me, because it enabled me to separate the idea of "me" from the idea of those thought patterns, ya know? For the first time, I was able to view those repetitive thoughts as something less significant to who and what I was as a person. I was no longer one with the thoughts and feelings that made up that icky grey cloud I'd been living in. Does that make sense?

Instead, I was able to see those thoughts as their own separate things and I could determine consciously that they had the same amount of meaning in my life as would a song stuck in my head. Suddenly that meant that they weren't actually about me nor did they define me as a person, as I had somehow felt they did. Does that make sense?

In objectifying those thought patterns and recognizing them as something separate from myself, I was able to withdraw from that overwhelming cloud of emotion that was pinning me down. I started trying to change the song. I put on happy music in hopes of getting happy lyrics stuck in my head instead. lol ... I watched some funny movies or tv shows, hoping that the situations or whatever would make me laugh and get other thoughts jump started that might be more enjoyable to think about.I read some inspirational web pages (nothing to do with weight loss, but generally inspiring).

It wasn't exactly like flipping a switch and having my motivation for living return or anything, but it didn't take long before I was able to see the truth of the matter. And for me, that was that I can, in fact, make the choice to focus on the thoughts that I WANT in my life. I am not powerless or useless, in fact, I have all the power in my life and in my head. I can choose purposefully which thoughts and patterns bring me joy and happiness and fulfillment, and which I should label as downer thought-songs stuck in my head to be discarded as something that does not serve me.

And once I started to hold that idea firmly in mind, I began to make little efforts, like when I would get up in the morning, and didn't feel like getting out of bed, I would lay there and list fifteen things I was grateful for in my life, this helped a lot, so I started doing it as a reaction whenever I felt myself starting to slip back into that cloud of bleh! I would start making lists of things I was grateful for, trying never to repeat anything on the list. It was a fun little mental game that nobody else knew I was playing, but it helped me focus on something other than the cloud, ya know?

Anyway, that's the story of how I am overcoming that lack of motivation problem. I hope it helps! Feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk more about it. :)

/hugs ... Hang in there, that song's almost over. :)

Quilly


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