All this training and weight loss made today possible!
 

I just got back from a boy scout caving trip and what a blast! First off, I was the only girl! :D I was well cared for, I can tell you that!

I could not have done this a year ago and I'm so glad I have this place to brag about it! :D

The entrance into the cave was literally a hole in the ground under a tree root. I knew this, but I thought there would be a ladder. Nope. You had to scale down it like rock climbing, but without the rope and without the handy little nailed in pegs. There was a man below guiding your foot, but he was too far down to actually touch you.

There were several TIGHT sections. I was worried some of our bigger boys and definitely our men would not fit. Our scout master couldn't go because he would not fit, and he knew it. I would not have fit last year. :no: Looking at some of these spots I got very scared that I would not fit even now. I had to keep self-dialouging "You are smaller than you think." Indeed I was. And I am so thankful for my strength training because I am strong, particularly my upper body (for a woman). I had many amazed compliments from the men behind me, who were always there ready to boost me. But they never needed to! I squeezed through and scaled everything with equal agility to the boys! So much fun!

There was a path that was 3/4 of a mile no higher than 4 ft high! That was long and tough! There was another section you had to go along with a commando crawl. Again, I was so thankful for all the training I had done.

The hardest part was getting back out of that hole. Everyone said getting out was easier than getting in, but they lied! They had height on their side! This is where I had to rely on my upper body strength, but I think women don't naturally rely on these muscles. I was trying to scale it with my leg power, but my foot slipped. That was when I finally really engaged my upper body and was able to do it. I was impressed though because the older boy beneath me caught my foot and hoisted me up with what felt like ease! I was so shocked, because I still feel like I am too heavy to be helped up.

And finally, you can't have a caving experience without water, mud and bats. :D So much fun!

It was just amazing and again, I'm so thankful for this journey and what it has allowed me to do. I couldn't have done it before and would certainly not have even tried. I would have missed out on one of the greatest experiences I have ever had.

Thanks great news :) I bet it was fun climbing in the cave.

That is amazing! Congratulations! And thank you for the inspiration.

I could only skim the post when I realized you were crawling through underground caves (yikes!) but congratulations!!

That's Awesome!!! I love moments like this sometimes I even find myself with a tear in my eye because the WOW feeling can be so overwhelming. Proud of you!

This is the most thrilling & interesting personal account I've read all day.

(And you're competing with my Sunday NY Times, girl.)

So that body you've renovated through sound nutrition & rebuilt through lots of exercise is not merely ornamental, it can actually do really neat stuff.

It can spelunk with the guys. (I had to write that, because how often do you get to use that verb?)

It could be the start of a new adventure series: Eliana & her Underground Journey.

(And besides, what a great metaphor. If you were writing a memoir or a personal essay for a magazine, this would be a key moment in self-discovery.)

Saef, my girlfriend and I were just talking about this. She has lost over 100 pounds now, right along with me. We've both experienced this new and thrilling desire to be active. She just attempted to climb a tree yesterday after a hike she'd never have taken before in her entire life. For her, she feels like she is changing and becoming a different person. I asked her how it feels and she said it feels weird. She's not as self-analytical as I am, so I wish I could explore her feelings better.

As for me? I'm not changing. I'm re-claiming myself. This sudden spurt of spunk I am experiencing has always been there. I was this adventurous before I got married and would have jumped at the chance to do this kind of thing. And though many women are admiring or consoling me on the fact that I was the only woman, I knew before I hit the road that I was going to love every minute of it. I love being the only woman! I love men, and I don't mean that in a weird way. I get along great with them, and somehow when you are largely outnumbered, they become very protective and overly well-mannered. I don't understand why any woman wouldn't love that. And I love the energy and adrenaline I get from trying to do everything as well as they can, while having the security that they're there if I need them.

So I have had a sort of awakening. It's like I went to sleep for 12 years, shed the cocoon and came out the same happy caterpillar I was before I entered it. I hate the butterfly analogy so this one fits better anyway because I feel 18 again. I don't feel like an adult butterfly...I feel like a caterpillar!

This is why this fat has made so angry for such a long time and it's why I couldn't love the body I was in. More than most people, I think, I truly lost myself in the fat and I knew it. I knew that wasn't me. I could still feel me screaming inside that body that just couldn't do what I needed it to do and the rest of the world could not see me. I can't express how unbelievably frustrating that is. I know people hate the "I'm a thin person in a fat body" statement because it sounds as though that means people who are overweight are less of a person. But that is how I felt to my very core.

Wow, what a cool thing. Congrats Eliana, you have earned these moments.

Wow congratulations!

I could only skim through your description since just thinking of caving makes my blood pressure rise and run cold....

but more power to you for re-claiming the active and vibrant woman you were years ago :bravo:

what a great story. Thanks for sharing.

that sounds like SO MUCH FUN! i love caves and caverns... i've been to several of the ones that are in virginia. i might add that to "things i want to do once i'm not the shape of a blimp" list :)

so glad you got to go out and enjoy yourself!

WOW! What an amazing experience! Congratulations!

Good for you! I love reading your posts, I find it easy to relate to you, we have many things in common. I'm so excited for you, and I'm jealous of your adventure and can't wait for my turn to try out my new improved body!

I like your caterpillar analogy, similarly I feel myself as though I had been hibernating in my 273 lb body, and this is my springtime.

Spelunking is one of the greatest sports out there! I'm so glad you were able to enjoy it and have a good time squeezing and wriggling through all those tight spaces. Nothing reminds you of how far you've come like accomplishing non-gym athletic recreational activities. :D

Great inspiring post!

I love reading your insight on your journey. It helps me understand my own feelings more .

While you feel like you are back to the person you always were I feel I am becoming someone I have never knew existed . Up until 2 years ago I never even dreamed of being any different, didn't consider it a option for me and had accepted it. My life since 5 years old had been the out of shape chubby girl. But when the switch flipped and my mind was made up I knew I would get to goal in time. While it has been a struggle some days I have never thought of giving up.

You don't have a blog by chance? If so I'd love to read your insight.