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Rambling/Update of sorts (kinda long)

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Old 03-22-2011, 03:28 PM   #1
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Cool Rambling/Update of sorts (kinda long)

I am still trudging along taking it day by day. I feel alittle lost because I don't seem to fit in anywhere right now in many areas of my life.

I love this forum but feel a little guilty whining about being 8 pounds from goal but I do relate to the struggles of having lots of weight to lose and the trials of starting out and even those plateaus. I have peeped in over at the Featherweights forum and I really can't relate to those in the 130-120's desperate to lose weight. I respect that they know their own bodies and feel it's important to them it's just hard for me to relate there.

This whole feeling carries over to my friends. My best friend started boot camp with me in January. It took some adjustment to get used to sharing my workout and then there is her frustration with being disappointed in her body and strength. I have been in boot camp over a year and have gained a lot of strength and stamina. I love her to death but she seems to be upset with me over being at a different place then her. It's hard because I have kept my journey somewhat private as to not interfere with my relationships . I have changed my life not just my waistline. I run as a hobby now , I eat healthy not to just lose weight but to take care of my body forever. I don't have anyone close to me that is at this point, my husband being the closest person but still not spot on. I have become that friend that makes others feel guilty about there own choices. I do not bring it up but when they do I try to be encouraging without being preachy. These things will not deter me from reaching my goals but it does make me sad.

One goal for 2011 was to run a 5k every month. I am addicted to the race feeling it's so fun and encouraging! I was very shocked when I received an email from my last 5k that I needed to collect my prizes. It seems I WON my age category for the 30-35 females!! I never started racing to win but to keep myself challenged and to progress in running speed and distance.I find setting goals to be a good way to keep myself focused and moving from just the scale number to fitness goals was my aim for this year. I will be getting my medal this week!

My weight has finally moved into the high 150's . I did detour from the 6 week diet plan as it was stressing me too much. It did help me learn to add more protein to my diet. I am allowing myself small treats like a small frozen yogurt or sorbet which still come with a bit of guilt. But I am having to learn one treat will not put 100 plus pounds on me overnight. It is still so weird to wear a size 8 or medium. Almost to much to wrap my head around I still have a hard time seeing it. Mental image is so weird and I hope my mind catches up with my body soon. I have been asked to use my before and after pictures for both my gym and Boot camp program. I am so not the Hey Look at me type that I am reluctant to do it.

If you made it this far thanks for reading! The Avatar is a recent picture from last week. I love reading here and find this to be an amazing group of people. While it may seem I shouldn't be here I feel at home here because this has been my life for so long and my brain is still that of the token chubby girl. Love to you all and keep up the fight!
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Old 03-22-2011, 03:43 PM   #2
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Your history and progress is so very inspiring. I know I appreciate reading about your successes and struggles and prespectives. Right now I am learning from you. I want and need your guidance. Please continue posting here.

Congratulations on you 5K win!!! Be sure to let us know what you won. Its so exciting!!!

Congrats on making it into the 150's. It may be slow but it is progress. No worries over an occasional treat, okay?

As for the friend, I have been on both sides of that coin. I did feel like I was intruding when a 'friend' invited me to Jazzercize and then proceeded to stay away from me and excluded me from her 'group'. Why did she invite me?? I have invited several friends to water aerobics. I'm torn between being near so they don't feel abandoned (ETA uncomfortable) and going to the deep end to get my usual workout. I have no advice just commiseration.
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:00 PM   #3
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As for my Best friend she hasn't lost weight as fast as she would like but with the type of exercise we do it has a lot to do with toning and building muscle so she has frustration over the scale. I know the program works in time and if you follow some sort of diet/calorie count/moderation type plan you will lose in time. I try to listen to her frustration and encourage without judging. I know she will not eat most the day then have take out for dinner and feel as tho she got in her calories. I have sent her article on eating too little and how it stalls weight loss . She makes comments on how she doesn't want all this to control her life (possibly thinks it does mine but that's okay with me). I encourage her that every little bit adds up, small changes do help (drinking more water, avoiding excess sugar and breads) and exercise is good for you.

I have talked with her over these issues. She doesn't admit to having hard feelings toward me. I did explain to her that during workout I find myself just zoning out to focus on getting a good workout. We have a class of 6-10 people depending on the day so it's not just us.
As for me I never claim to be perfect and still have my own battles. My 2 year old had a sudden seizure on Saturday night. It scared me to death as I found him he was blue and seizing. SCARY. Yesterday I found myself wanting to munch and thinking about cookies, ice cream and fried chicken. I know it was emotional eating over the worry and stress over my baby.

Ahhh life is never boring!
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:13 PM   #4
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Has the Boot Camp leader covered healthy eating with the group? Maybe advice from a (nonfriend) person perceived as a trained professional would give her something to think about.

I'm sorry to hear about your son. I hope he's okay.

I love the new avatar - you look so cute and petite!
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:30 PM   #5
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Don't feel out of place here, you belong here too. There is a certain mentality I think that just becomes who you are and even when you lose, you are still that person, certain foods and situations will still hit that switch in your head. It's a fight, and even if you only have a bit more to lose, I think you have more in common with us than someone who never had more than 20 to lose to begin with. It's the same, but different.

You're welcome here, no worries.

I've been both those friends too, it's a pain and I have no advice because I have lost all my diet buddies cept one online one.
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:47 PM   #6
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This makes me think there needs to be an area for people losing "The last ___pounds" on here. Maybe the last 20 pounds? Cause you're not a featherweight, and not yet a maintainer--I get how you feel. Especially since those last few can be the most mentally taxing, and take a long time.

My DH and I started this together, he was 210 (we are the same height) and he wants to get to 175. Right now he is at 183. Working on the last 8 lbs. I feel for the guy--yes, he doesn't get to work out as much as me, and does go "off-plan" more (due to client dinners, etc) but I've dropped much more lbs than he has in these 8 months. So I get how you feel since you and he are working on the last 8 lbs.

I wish I had something insightful to say. You do inspire me, though. I am a stay-at-home Mama of 1, while you have 6. Don't know how you do it. But you are an inspiration to lots of us on here, I'm sure!
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:52 PM   #7
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Quote:
I love this forum but feel a little guilty whining about being 8 pounds from goal but I do relate to the struggles of having lots of weight to lose and the trials of starting out and even those plateaus. I have peeped in over at the Featherweights forum and I really can't relate to those in the 130-120's desperate to lose weight. I respect that they know their own bodies and feel it's important to them it's just hard for me to relate there.
I want to encourage you to check out the living maintenance forum. I think that you will find others that you can relate to. Please stay here too! We need you.

You have changed your body a great deal. It makes sense to me that you these changes have to cause you make adjustments in your life. You are a good friend to try to help your friends. It sounds like you are trying to be consider but they have to adjust to your changes. You can't control them so they will either adjust or they won't.

You have done so well. You deserve to enjoy it!
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Old 03-22-2011, 09:06 PM   #8
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Hope your little guy is better.
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Old 03-23-2011, 08:44 AM   #9
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First off, I hope your son is feeling better. Scary stuff when little ones get so sick.

I hope you do find another thread(s) where you feel comfortable and are able to relate to the people....and I also hope you'll stay here as well. For those of us just starting (or in my case...re-starting), it's so encouraging to hear from people who have lost significant amounts of weight. I don't know about others here, but in my day to day life, I don't encounter people who have lost 75-100+ lbs, not even at the WW at Work meetings. And sometimes when I think of having to lose that much weight it seems like a very daunting task. But hearing from you and others about your past and current successes and struggles truly gives me hope.
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Old 03-23-2011, 09:02 AM   #10
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I could have written your post myself. Oh, wait! I did! Just Monday, if fact.

I don’t feel out of place on these boards even when I am whining and being a brat. Ha! But I have to come here because I am so desperate for someone, ANYONE, to understand what I am going through sometimes. And two of my closest friends don’t want to talk anymore as it pertains to weight loss. And frankly, they are making me feel so guilty about my own. The latest example was last night when I missed a call from one and her message was, “Oh, you’re not there. Of course! You are probably at the gym again. Must be nice.”. Click. OK, I’m sorry that your husband is an A-hole who won’t watch HIS kid so you can go too! I will never say this to her and I know her frustration is over her own situation but really?? I struggle too, you know? *sigh*

Sorry, didn’t mean to go off on a tangent. I just read your post and all these feelings of mine came to the surface.
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Old 03-23-2011, 09:11 AM   #11
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I hope your little guy is feeling better...so scary!

I have belonged to this forum for forever and I can only imagine where I would be (what I would weigh) without it. When I look at tickers and see numbers like 120 lbs lost, I think, Wow, this really can be done. You can while all you want about those last 8 lbs, we welcome it. You give us a the belief that it can be done, so please, this is where you belong.

That said Maintainers is also a wonderful place to hang out as well. You will find many people in your same situation.

Finding a workout partner can be so hard. Either people are at different fitness levels than you or they have different schedules. Maybe you can find a buddy from the 5K's that you run?
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Old 03-24-2011, 12:14 AM   #12
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[quote=ShanIAm;3771021]I could have written your post myself. Oh, wait! I did! Just Monday, if fact.

I donít feel out of place on these boards even when I am whining and being a brat. Ha! But I have to come here because I am so desperate for someone, ANYONE, to understand what I am going through sometimes. And two of my closest friends donít want to talk anymore as it pertains to weight loss. And frankly, they are making me feel so guilty about my own. The latest example was last night when I missed a call from one and her message was, ďOh, youíre not there. Of course! You are probably at the gym again. Must be nice.Ē. Click. OK, Iím sorry that your husband is an A-hole who wonít watch HIS kid so you can go too! I will never say this to her and I know her frustration is over her own situation but really?? I struggle too, you know? *sigh*


Oh my this kind of stuff is EXACTLY how things have become with us. I know go to boot camp at 5 am with her because she can't get away from her husband and 2 kids for night workouts!

I make time and effort to get in my extra cardio and I get grief from her over it. I have grown a liking to running while she makes every excuse in the book why she can't run so it's hard to include her without sacrificing my own workout. I honestly would rather avoid the topic all together. I don't know what the right answer is. Just tonight she went on a tangent how calorie counting just does not work for her and how she her body look worse now after almost 3 months of boot camp. I know both things work if you give them a chance but I am tried of defending them.

I am sort of hoping something gives as I have been toying with doing a different workout regimen to train for a triathlon. I just don't think this situation is ideal for for friendship.

Thanks for sharing that I am not alone in this.
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Old 03-24-2011, 09:16 AM   #13
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Maybe you can talk to her about how you have learned (from this forum if you want to tell her about it), that different things work for different bodies and what worked for you may not work for her. Gives her a graceful out. Sounds like she wants to use your "encouragment" or lack thereof as her reason to give up on a program she doesn't really want to follow.
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Old 03-24-2011, 01:18 PM   #14
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Oooh, so many thoughts!

First, I hear you on not quite knowing where you belong, and yet I've always felt like THIS is the place. No matter my weight, I belong here. The reason I think this is because I remember how I felt about those who were 10 pounds from goal when I first started. I learned a lot from them about what to expect and that it could be done! I found those people the most encouraging because they had done it. AND, at my highest, I honestly had a tendency to think I was going to be perfectly content with 10 pounds to go. It was nice to receive a reality check now and then that it wasn't always so. It has made me more prepared for what we are facing....like another whole flipping year before we see goal.

You're definitely in a different place than your friend and it sounds like she's being competitive with you, but with no basis for it. She's comparing herself to you which is really unfair of her to do to herself because you've been doing this longer! I do this with my friend who is losing right along with me. Thankfully, she's ok with my doing everything faster, stronger and in a different time frame because I started out smaller than she did. Now she's catching up with me and I have to change the perception I've always had of her always being 30 pounds heavier than me. The gap is closing and it's weird.

I hope your son is ok! Did he seizure because of a high fever?
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Old 03-24-2011, 02:20 PM   #15
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Wow, so much to relate to! First and foremost I hope your baby is doing well, i can't imagine the terror seeing your baby cyanotic and seizing!!

As for the rest of your post, I could have written it as well!! I don't feel like I belong anywhere either - I've checked out the 40s forum and the maintainers and I just don't feel like my experience is similar to someone who has lost 25 pounds. I know it's an accomplishment to achieve a goal no matter what, but I feel the 100 pound club is UNIQUE in what we share. And all my friends I've gotten to know over the years are here

That being said, I've had a personal message saying to LEAVE the forum because I've lost the weight and there's no reason for me to be here. Yoikes. I have things to say, and as I said, a lot of it only us 100pounders "get it". By the same token, I don't want to EVER sound preachy like "well i've done it, so i know" because when I first started I read posts like that a LOT and they bugged me -- we all have to find our own way in this. But I like to weigh in (heh) on subjects and to let people know as corny as it sounds, if I can do it ANYONE can !!!

As for friendships, I've lost a few along the way, people who weren't adding anything to my life only withdrawing -- I finally reached a point where I was OK letting some people go. One who actually seemed MAD that I lost weight and she didn't. I tried to explain that I WORKED at it and she didn't, so why would she be shocked at the outcome??? That didn't end well LOL

Anyway, all I wanted to LONGWINDEDLY say is I hope you stick around, for encouragement to others and from others!
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