3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Support Groups > 100 lb. Club

Could I be afraid of reaching goal???

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-09-2011, 06:36 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In La-La Land
Posts: 3,674

Height: 5'8"

Default Could I be afraid of reaching goal???

I'm giving a lot of thought about why on earth I got so close to goal and then just lost my mojo to get any further. I lost over a hundred pounds and then stalled, and yes, that was frustrating, but was it really frustrating enough to make me start to backslide?
__________________


End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
ubergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2011, 07:22 PM   #2
Argh.
 
calluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,428

S/C/G: 280/ticker/169

Height: 5'9"

Default

When you find the answer, let me know because I have the same question. Maybe your answer will help me -
__________________
Perseverance.

calluna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2011, 08:11 PM   #3
On a break with Baby #5
 
Arctic Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 3,754

S/C/G: 257 /ticker/ 160

Height: 5'3" - I got taller!

Default

I have found that my complacency with weightloss is indeed related, at least a little, to reaching goal. For me it is a combination of 'good enough', forgetting what being obese looked and felt like, and mental freak outs about losing perhaps my one social crutch/shield.

I just had to hang out for a bit right above a milestone before my reasons for continuing to lose outweighed my justifications for maintaining where I was. It took time, no forcing worked.

Good luck, sweetie!
__________________
Taryl - http://www.aurorafiberarts.com/weightloss

Weight loss since Oct 2008:
Arctic Mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2011, 08:27 PM   #4
Senior Member
 
abetterme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 347

S/C/G: 200/see ticker/140

Height: 5'3"

Default

I can relate. I'm going through that now myself. I'm only a few lbs from getting out of the 170s and everytime in the past I get this mental block that keeps me from reaching this goal. I don't know why but I'm starting to feel it now. I guess we just need to remember why we are here and push through.
__________________


abetterme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2011, 08:55 PM   #5
onedayatatimer
 
luckymommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,273

S/C/G: 224/ticker/145-155

Height: 5'9.5"

Default

I feel the same way. I got down to 164, which is very close to goal and then, I started binge eating and I could see now end in sight. I put on 15 lbs. in about 2 weeks time (just to let you know how serious my problem is) and now, I've lost a good bit of it very quickly (I guess if you get back on track fast enough, it tends to go back quicker). It didn't help that I had injured my foot and a week later, I had a migraine of a lifetime and am still recovering from the pain.

I think I'm afraid of getting to goal somewhere in the depths of my brain, but I really don't know why. Part of it is that I feel freaked out when I get close to goal. I feel like I'm going to be sick or something. It's as if some part of me feels that being fat is safer. Really, I have no idea why. I'm trying really hard to overcome this.

I wish I had some answers for you....I think I'll take the above advice of just hanging out where I happen to be until finally, my own "mojo" comes back. In the meantime, I'm trying to eat healthy, counting my calories and keeping active. I would really loooove to get to goal by summer. I SO want to have a thin summer!
__________________

First goal: under 180:
Second goal: 175 or below:
Third goal: 168 (no longer overweight):
Fourth goal: 160 or below:
Final goal: 145-155 (not sure if this will ever happen):
luckymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2011, 09:16 PM   #6
Tai
Senior Member
 
Tai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,479

S/C/G: 272/136/maintaining

Height: 5'4"

Default

Uber, could it be the thought of maintenance that's troubling you?
Tai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2011, 09:21 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
seagirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 2,440

S/C/G: 195/180.2/165

Height: 5'9"

Default

Someone posted a thread last week about how they felt like now that they'd reach their goal, they had no more potential. Nothing to strive for. That could be what you are feeling.

So, pick another goal to carry you even after you've hit the weight loss goal. It could be some fitness goal - riding your bike or running a certain number of miles or minutes per month, or learning a new language, painting a room in your house, etc.

Just keep finding new goals so that reaching a "big one" isn't as daunting.
__________________
.
It's about commitment, not motivation.
seagirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2011, 09:50 PM   #8
Staying the Same
 
krampus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Troy, NY
Posts: 6,443

S/C/G: 160+/116/this is fine

Height: 5'5

Default

Who knows? I got within 8 pounds of goal and nowadays I'm lucky if I'm within 15. I don't feel fear or apprehension or anything. It's like I'm a thing possessed if I drop below a certain weight, almost as if my body really wants to stay at a given weight and is fighting my mind to stay at that weight.

It's so frustrating and some days I just want to say "bah, good enough" and stop, but I can't let myself "give up" or I feel incomplete as though I've aborted an important mission.
__________________
Push on some more!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/krampus
krampus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2011, 09:51 PM   #9
I can do anything!
 
ValRock's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 2,509

S/C/G: 267/Ticker/150 & BAMF

Height: 5'9.5"

Default

The same thing happened to me!! I hovered within 8 lbs of my goal for weeks and weeks and then BLEGH. Here I am again. So annoying.
__________________
It's OK to be Strong & Pretty! Lift heavy or go home!
ValRock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-2011, 09:55 PM   #10
Staying the Same
 
krampus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Troy, NY
Posts: 6,443

S/C/G: 160+/116/this is fine

Height: 5'5

Default

Val! There you are! How are you doing? You still want those clothes I never sent?
__________________
Push on some more!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/krampus
krampus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2011, 01:28 AM   #11
I can do anything!
 
ValRock's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
Posts: 2,509

S/C/G: 267/Ticker/150 & BAMF

Height: 5'9.5"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by krampus View Post
Val! There you are! How are you doing? You still want those clothes I never sent?
Oh gosh, I totally forgot about that! They probably wouldn't fit me now . Let me know how much you want for them... maybe they will give me motivation to get my behind back in gear!
__________________
It's OK to be Strong & Pretty! Lift heavy or go home!
ValRock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2011, 02:42 AM   #12
Happy Plodder
 
Rosinante's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 4,081

S/C/G: 242/214.8/146

Height: 5'2"

Default

Yes, you could be afraid of goal. I am. Not consciously, not deliberately but when I get nearer, panic sets in.

Like the previous thread - no more to strive for.

Also, for many years, tho not any more, I 'knew' that life would be magically be better once I was thin. The nearer I get the more it's a case of 'what if it's not?'

Loss of identity - we might have spent years (in my case, nearly half a century) trying to lose the weight but it is who we are/have been. Our appearance defines how others identify us and how we identify ourselves. When I'm in a Depression, then, fat or thin, my dread is the feeling of creeping non-existence. When I threaten my physical identity by losing 100+lbs, those feelings return with a vengeance.

The level playing field. Last time, when I got down to 16lbs off goal, I felt that I wanted to tell people I met for the first time that 'I used to be fat, you know'. I didn't! but I was a lot more comfortable among people who'd known me before and so who (in my mind, anyway) would view me as 'hasn't that fat woman done well' - but still be making the allowances I assume people did for fatme. By which I mean, a lot of people really do make assumptions that 'fat' = 'stupid', so I always felt people were surprised by my personality, which is not stupid but bright and smart and with a killer SOH. Once I got to 'normal' - well, no-one would be surprised any more, I suppose my personality was normal too, and I feared normal = mediocrity.

I hate putting on weight, I hate feeling bloated and fat but, in a weird way that I've never realized let alone vocalized before, I'm never happier than when I'm at the start of a Diet. I feel in control, I have a plan for my future. Once I'm at goal, I won't have those.

__________________

Dukan & divin'.....
Rosinante is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2011, 07:26 AM   #13
Calorie counter
 
Eliana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,679

Height: 5'4.5"

Default

Only you can answer that, but my first inclination is to say "no", I don't think you're afraid of goal. I think you hit a wicked plateau at a really stressful time during your life. I think the one mistake you probably made was not looking at it as a sort of period of maintenance, each day being just like the one before for no other reason than to maintain that which you already lost. Mentally you were not prepared for a plateau and you fought it. And now you have that awful pressure to perfect. Who needs that? The rebellious teenager would come out of me in that situation. I'd put on 14 pounds too! I think you need to face that demon to figure yourself out.

I was the one who started to feel like I had no potential left once I hit goal. It was a concept that took me by surprise. I had no idea I'd feel that way. I discovered that all along I had "fat" to blame for all my inadequacies and now that the fat is pretty much gone, I'm left with just me. I felt like I had no more potential for perfection. I'm as perfect as I'm going to get and if you're not 100% satisfied (and who ever is) it's a pretty scary place to be.
__________________
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
Eliana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-10-2011, 10:15 PM   #14
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In La-La Land
Posts: 3,674

Height: 5'8"

Default

Thanks, everyone for all of the thoughtful responses.

Eliana, I DO relate to that idea of no more potential. It's as though there is this ideal person out there-- more successful, more beautiful, more amazing in every way than plain old Uber-- she's brilliant, she's admired by all. She doesn't procrastinate. Her house looks like a Pottery Barn catalog. Her children have perfect manners and keep their rooms spotlessly clean without being asked. And, she's thin. She is, in fact, normal weight. Well, to be honest, she's outright slender. She's the UBER uber, and as long as I'm fat, I couldn't possibly be her and so I'm not really EXPECTED to be her.

And I can actually pin point where this most recent backslide and binge-tastic couple of weeks have come from. I had to do this really important meeting where it was incredibly important how I looked and what I wore and how I acted-- it was totally stressful and I had to get professional hair and make-up and wear super sophisticated clothes that would never in one hundred million years have fit me one hundred pounds ago. So, for this fleeting moment, it actually seemed as though people actually believed that I was that other UBER--- the one who was beautiful and chic and sophisticated, and etc....

And I immediately came home and put on 14 pounds. There must be something to that... just not sure what it is, exactly.
__________________


End of 2014 Challenge

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill

SUCCESS WITHOUT KRYPTONITE!
First Mini-Goal: 260 by vacation.
met 7/25/14
Second Mini-goal 240.5 Half of regain gone.
Third mini-goal below 230 by the end of 2014
ubergirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-2011, 12:20 AM   #15
Senior Member
 
bonnie2009's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 339

Default

I think for me getting to goal weight would/did make me feel exposed, exposed in the sense that there would be physically much less of me. Also, for me, I lost over a 100 pounds and did get to goal weight and thought all would be right with the world. There are many, many wonderful things about getting to goal weight but, I think, my head was so hard-wired as a heavy person I was lost when I got there. I overeat when I am stressed, tired, angry etc.. and when the excitement of striving toward goal weight was over that was stressful to me because I didn't know how to be at goal weight and live and think as a normal weight person. I think too I (my mind) was used to feeling unattractive, feeling invisible, less than etc.. the goal weight did not fix that.

I now am using visualization to visualize myself losing weight and getting to goal weight as a "normal"(whatever that is) person to begin with. A person with increased self esteem and other positive thoughts about myself. I think that will help me to be sane about losing the weight and realize that when I get to goal weight that I am not a heavy person with all the negative feelings that of come with it for me but a positive person that can slip into goal weight with little trepidation.
bonnie2009 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I need a buddy! Quiet Ballerina 20-Somethings 160 02-11-2009 02:15 PM
I've been given an incredible opportunity and I don't know what to do buckettgirl 100 lb. Club 15 04-12-2006 04:15 PM
Battle of the Bulge #8 Crime girl Support Groups 116 01-23-2005 08:41 AM
LWL #112 - Week of 21 July 2003 MrsJim Weight and Resistance Training 82 07-27-2003 11:17 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:03 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2