I'm coming off a very very bad day. The last few weeks have just been AWFUL. I'm hyper stressed about a bunch of things, and for some inexplicable reason, after getting myself up to running 4 miles at a time with a good fast pace, all of a sudden, I just quit exercising. That was about 3 weeks ago.
I looks like when I stop exercising, I can't handle my stress any more.
I've been overeating every single day, and the scale shows it. I'm up FOURTEEN pounds from my lowest weight, from mid-October. Most of that gain has been in the last week.
Up until now, I was barely hanging on to my plan by my fingernails... overeating, yes, but still holding to the basic elements of my plan. Not binging. (I'm a binge eater...)
Then a couple of days ago, it all fell apart, and I started doing stuff like handfuls of Vanilla Wafers and crackers and extra slices of bread and peanut butter.
Yesterday, everything seemed fine but when I got home from work I was really hungry because I'd been on plan all day... I started a little nibbling before dinner, an orange, a crust of bread-- and then somehow, after dinner, I ended up in a FULL OUT BINGE. I felt completely sick and glassy eyed and JUST HORRIBLE. That is the first time I've done that since before June 2009.
So, here is what I think is going on.
My life is entering a phase where I'm very stressed and feel totally inadequate and insecure.
And I think for me, exercise is the key for managing my stress and managing my stress is the key for not binging.
So, here's my plan. Start exercising again. Go back on plan, but keep my calories relatively high and make sure I never get super hungry....
Start checking in here again.
That's all for now.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill
, uber! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time and things are so stressful for you right now. Is there anyone you can talk to about what is stressing you so much? Exercise is an awesome stress reducer but maybe you need another helping hand as well. We're all here for you, keep posting!
Journey Started: June 22, 2010 (233 lbs)
Met Goal: June 22, 2011 (133 lbs)
Starting again April 16, 2015 - losing weight from 3rd baby!!
I was just thinking about you as I was running on the treadmill this morning. I was actually going to PM you and was wondering if you would even get it. I've been worried because you haven't been here, not always a good sign.
Please check in more often! You had so much upheaval and now that the dust is settling I'm not sure you know what to do with yourself. I know how proud exercise makes you and you are so strong.
The one silver lining in this? BECAUSE you have gained 14 pounds, if you just get yourself back on plan, that weight is likely to just fall right off. I know you hit a plateau and I know you couldn't break it, but now...having been off...I just feel hopeful for you.
Tell me about your routine. How did you stop going to the gym at your favored time? What about your life disrupted your schedule? Was there just a day that you said, "No more"?
I urge you not to just say "I'm going to start exercising", but actually set a goal. Sign up for a 5K or even a half marathon!! Decide to do a pull up unassisted. Search for a new lifting routine and commit to 12 weeks of really giving it your all. Join a challenge here or set one up yourself with friends or colleagues. My gym spinning class just completed a challenge where we collected 1 "unit" for every 15 minutes of cardio activity we did. We put $5 each in the pot and the winner gets the pot and Subway gift certificates. It was amazing! We all got to know each other better, we all worked our butts off and were constantly asking, "How many units did you get yesterday?" We got really competitive with it. The nice thing was there was a timeline; an end date.
Come on Uber! Commit to 12 weeks of being totally on plan! 12 weeks! That is all. And after that, you WILL have renewed energy and a renewed spirit, guaranteed.
And come around here more!
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)
Uber, I am sorry to hear about your problem but am so glad that you posted. Your plan sounds good and I know that you can do it!
If knowing that others are in the same boat with you helps, I have struggled too since the holidays and other long timers with large weight losses have posted with similar struggles. We all go through periods of great stress and I think that learning how to deal with them is something that we all need to learn. Something that is part of the process that makes weight loss permanent.
I am conflicted when I think of myself and other posters that have gained weight and struggled. Part of me wants to say to reassure myself, you and others who deal with it and say that it is OK. Then another part of me thinks about posts by Robin and Lori Bell who can dish out some tough love. There are times that I need that tough love. It is not OK for me to regain and it is not OK for me to eat off plan. I don't want to gain back the weight that I have loss and I want to lose more. Period.
So both you and I need to get ourselves in gear and do this. We have lost weight before so we know that we can do it! I know that it is not March 4 but I still want to quote Lori - Let's March Forth!
Persistence is more important than Perfection
Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. - Winston Churchill
Uber, I'm sorry you are going through this rough patch! It's great that you checked in here ~ this is such a great and supportive area. I am a binge eater as well, so I am familiar with your feelings. I can only say that each day is a new day to start fresh and start anew. Good for you for knowing what you need to do as far as exercising and making sure you are getting enough food so you are not super hungry. You can do it!
The other chickies gave you wonderful advice, so I just wanted to jump in and say that I'm glad to see you back here. Struggle or not, I love seeing you post and having you around.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly..."
Sending along my encouragement and seconding your plan for keeping your calories fairly high right now. I too have entered a phase where eating behaviours I haven't had in years a rearing ugly head and having an awful time getting back on plan. Not doing much scale damage yet, but really don't like where my head is.
Height: 5'2" (really 5'1 1/4" ( but I refuse to accept that - I don't care what the doctor says!)
Uber I'm glad that you have decided to post........it really helps & everyone here is so supportive And we all have fallen off the wagon - I know I have. I too think that exercising is a great stress reliever. And maybe you do need to talk to someone. Don't give up! We are here for each other. Keep on keeping on, eh?
Thanks so much everybody for chiming in with your words of support.
I'm feeling a lot better today even though unfortunately, I did not make it to the gym to work out. I had to take one of my kids to a nighttime soccer practice and it ate up all of my time.... poor planning. When I'm in the groove, I work around that stuff and prioritize. Foodwise, I was back on track, eating about 1500 calories and did not feel myself getting out of control.
Eliana, you asked why I stopped exercising... it certainly wasn't intentional, and I didn't actually flat out stop one day to the next. One week, I was really tired and felt like I was coming down with something so I skipped a couple of days, then the next week, I remembered how nice it had been to pamper myself and sit on the sofa reading instead of going out into the cold night air... then I went back and ran once, and I didn't feel that great because my cold was still there and I felt kind of wheezy, so I decided to skip again. Then I got kind of paralyzed and thought "oh no! I've abandoned my exercise plan. What if I never get it back???" then of course I didn't.
Lately, I've been feeling the absolute worst kind of pressure. I feel like people are expecting me to be perfect and beyond perfect-- in the way I look and in what I achieve-- and I'm just super overwhelmed.
And Eliana, I have been thinking of training for a 5k-- it is definitely on my to-do list....
I like the idea of committing to a specific period of time, and I'm thinking that the period of time maybe is from now until June 19th. June 19th is a big day in my life. It's the day that I started on this journey, back in 2009. I think it's probably reasonable for me to get back to my all time lowest weight by then-- I'm pretty sure some of the extra 14 pounds is just bloat and water weight....
I'll keep you all posted.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill
Glad you are doing better, so many of us seem to be dealing with demons these past couple of weeks. Don't know if it is real cold where you are, but I think for a lot of folks, the winter weather dragging on sucks. Just think about all that outdoor running you'll get to do in the nice weather that is just around the corner...