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Jerk criticizing my body

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Old 03-04-2011, 06:10 PM   #1
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Default Jerk criticizing my body

I just need to rant from a second. A guy asked me if I have ever had gastric bypass surgery. (He has never seen me at 250). I told him no, but I did not discuss my weight loss. The reason he asked is because he said my breasts are so disproportionate to my body it looks odd, like I lost a ton of weight, but not there. And, that other girls my size don't have as big a chest. And, he went on to say if I lost any weight now that I would look funny with big hips and a big chest on a tiny body.

Gosh, darn it. Is my body ever going to be good enough? I am sick of hearing what is wrong with me all the time.

Last edited by Asherdoodles87 : 03-04-2011 at 06:11 PM.
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Old 03-04-2011, 06:29 PM   #2
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Oh wow. I'd be tempted to beat this guy. I don't know how people think comments like this are ok.


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Old 03-04-2011, 06:32 PM   #3
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Christ, what a jerk! I certainly hope this isn't someone you have to deal with on a regular basis, I would be so hard-pressed to hold my tongue in that case.

Although it surely sounds like you're well on your way to an awesome hourglass figure - I'd flaunt it, **** with the rest of them!

One for each 5lb lost:
Don't complain about the results you didn't get from the hard work you didn't do.
[Recommit 03/19/12 - *A year from now you'll be glad you started today* ]

Mini goals:
199 (Onederland!): [ ] ** 197.5 (Out of Class II Obesity): [ ] ** 188 (-50lbs): [ ] ** 177 (Same weight range as DH): [ ] ** 169 (No longer obese!!): [ ] ** 158 (-80lbs): [ ]
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Old 03-04-2011, 06:34 PM   #4
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WOW! that sounds like something a rude 12yo would say, not an adult! Please let it roll off your back (I know it's hard).

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Old 03-04-2011, 06:36 PM   #5
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hmmm sounds like there is more to the story than we got. I need clarification. How did this converstion even come about? Doesn't seem like some random guy on the street coming up to you saying this.
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Old 03-04-2011, 06:38 PM   #6
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Let me guess? He's single?

I'd have been like "you know I was just thinking the same and I was about to ask you how such a big guy can have such a small weiner!"
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Old 03-04-2011, 06:55 PM   #7
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I talk a lot (as some of you already know from the lengths of my posts), to friends, to accquaintences, to strangers).

No matter what you believe about the appropriateness of sharing opinions, everyone has them, and they're all very different. You can't let other people's opinions of you, determine your opinion of yourse.f

Originally Posted by Asherdoodles87 View Post
Gosh, darn it. Is my body ever going to be good enough? I am sick of hearing what is wrong with me all the time.
Good enough for whom? For every random guy? Then the answer is, absolutely never. Now and at your heighest weight you were "too fat," "too thin" "wrong proportioned" and absolutely perfect in the opinions of other people. At your lowest weight, you'll be able to say the same thing.

There is no body type and shape that appeals to everyone.

The question isn't whom your body pleases, the question is when will you be pleased. If your answer is "when everyone else approves of my body," then you're doomed to being unhappy forever, because it's not going to happen.

If you expect everyone to keep criticisms of you to themselves, that isn't going to happen either. Some people are intentionally rude, others may not feel they're being critical or inappropriate they may just like sharing their opinion on everything (I tend to be that way, but I don't expext people to care about my opinions. Sure I hope they do, but I also am ok, and sometimes have to agree with people saying "Colleen, you're full of ****" or "Colleen, that's a topic I don't care to discuss").

You teach others how to treat you, and you can learn to teach them not to pursue certain lines of discussion. If you don't want body comments - then stop the conversation. Tell the person it's not open for discussion. You don't have to participate in body commentary - and listening is participating. You could have stopped the topic before it got as far as it did by saying "I don't appreciate commentary on my body, please change the subject."

Most of us have to learn to be active communicators. We have to learn not to "suffer in silence" and then later fume about someone's rudeness. It is ok to stop unpleasant communication in it's tracks. Even if you're the only one who thinks it's unpleasant or rude, it's still ok to say "I don't want to discuss that."

I don't care if the topic is "clowns" if clowns make you uncomfortable, it's ok to say "I don't like talking about clowns, please let's change the subject."

Know that your body is perfect for someone - but what really matters is what you think of it, and you can like it at any size and shape. So you can begin liking it, even if you don't love it yet, and regardless of anyone else's opinion on the matter.
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Old 03-04-2011, 06:55 PM   #8
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How do you know this idiot? If he is a stranger, just imagine that he is on his way to the loony bin, where he belongs.
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Old 03-04-2011, 07:15 PM   #9
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i would have just said "no honey this body is 100% natural and all mine including these (hug those womenly parts)and say "you know you may not approve, but i know a lot of guys who dont share your opinion, so how bout you mind your own business"

Seriously..why should you care what he thinks anyway? And truth is..you may never be good enough for anyone..but thats not what counts..What counts is wheather you matter to you and whether you think you are good enough based on what YOU see. Everyone else's opinion counts as a grain of salt compared to how you feel and what you see..and im sure..that there are tons of men out there..who 100% approve..i happen to know that my man thinks that my bigger girls look great and its one of my nicest features..so..appreciate what you got!
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Old 03-04-2011, 07:23 PM   #10
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i thought guys liked big chests...yeah like everyone else said..he is a loser jerk that must have some body issues himself..and shake it off.

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Old 03-04-2011, 07:38 PM   #11
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Sounds like he was dissing us hourglass' :P. He's just a jerk that can't take into account that there are all forms of beauty; not just what he "thinks" is attractive. It's just a person's opinion, and the world is like a coin toss. Cheer up. ^_^

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Old 03-04-2011, 07:51 PM   #12
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Freaky. I remember one time at a camp out for my husbands' job and co-workers that a coworker of his asked him (not in front of me, of course) if I had had breast implants. Wow, he was mad! Because yes, I do have large breasticles (even though I've lost almost 70lbs, I still wear a DD cup) and DH loves that about me. And as far as he's concerned, I'm his and others should not be "looking". LOL!!!

Seriously, guy sounds like a real freak. I don't think I would have had a quick answer for him either, cause I would have been shocked that that actually came out of his mouth.

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Old 03-04-2011, 07:59 PM   #13
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The guy sounds like a weirdo that likes to discuss body parts.
Best not to say anything at all to him....ever.
And if he is a co-worker, let the ladies know he is strange.
If he keeps it up, you can report him to management for harrassment.
Something is wrong with his head.
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Old 03-04-2011, 07:59 PM   #14
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woah, he sounds very socially stunted. Why do people think this is ok? I would a made a comment about his body, maby then he would get the point that doing so is not okay.
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Old 03-04-2011, 08:42 PM   #15
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...appropriate response?....KISS OFF JERK-FACE!!!!!....

"Until he extends his circle of compassion to include all living things, man will not himself find peace" Albert Schweitzer
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