Dogged by the black dog!
 

Still not getting my act together since I got back from Palestine. I can't be bothered to plan, to buy healthy food; I'm eating carbs - huge great choc chip cookies - like there's no tomorrow. I still manage my daily walk but that's about it.

I know it's the dreaded black dog of depression but here's the weird thing - in past years, I've just succumbed to feeling dreadful until it lifts. This year, having a better understanding of being able to say 'oh, it's my seasonal depression', it actually makes me not try to do anything to lift it; 'it's just my depression'.

I'm doing the minimum required to not fail at my job.
I'm stressed to death about managing my old dogs' declining days.
I crave company and long for solitude.
I'm eating like a garbage disposal.

I'll try harder today.

:hug: Rosinante - somewhere amongst the depression, you should be able to see that keeping away from what you know is good and positive is having the negative effect that you didn't want. I am also seasonally affected, and have trouble some days too. There are so many things to be thankful for, many of your own making. Try to find some positives in every day. If I were you I'd write down each positive you get from each day. This might help :) Also with respect to your beloved four legged friend, remember you have had a great life with him/her, and you have both been enriched by being together. I know it's hard. I know you feel down, but you deserve to continue the way you started. You owe it to yourself to finish it.
Take care, continue to post. You are very much cared for and appreciated here.

Oh dear, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this. I don't have much in the way of advice to offer (and I don't know that you're looking for advice in any case!) but I want to send you some :hug: and tell you that your 3FC friends are hoping for the best for you!

I for one, am glad you focused some of that energy on posting. I was afraid that the "black dog" had dragged you down. Take care of yourself the best you can so you're not digging out of other holes once this season passes.

Pulling for you!

:hug::hug::hug: - Keep trying! I am pulling for you.

:hug: to you! I am also seasonally affected...I think I've finally figured that out this year. I am hungrier than normal, and my patience level is low...and I too am doing almost the minimum at my job. OK so that wasn't a very positive post, was it?? But just know you're not alone, as we go through our respective days on opposites sides of the pond, we can each do our best to make choices to be good to ourselves!!

Rosinante - big, big hugs to you - :hug::hug::hug:

Can you make just one small change at a time? Like eat a piece of fruit before the giant chocolate chip cookie.

I am pulling for you to feel better. Spring is coming!!

Thankyou for the encouragement, guys.

Today's positive - I ate no chocolate. It's a start!
:hug:

Yay - No choccie - positive post number 1 :)

I'm so sorry you're going through this but I have to say how eloquent that little statement you made is! As someone who has suffered from depression most of her life, I can relate and appreciate.

When I've had the down times I eat more like a wood chipper than a garbage disposal! I think a wood chipper is even more dangerous to get your hand close to!

:hug:

Rosinante sounds like you could use some :hug: :hug: :hug:. Glad to hear you are having a more postive day. Spring will be here soon. It's almost March. I live in the midwest so have to put up with cold and snow and ice.
I lived in the UK for a short while. We got snow there it was in Cornwall.
Don't Give Up! Soon the weather will be nice and you can enjoy your walks more.

That's great! :carrot:

Thanks guys.

Yesterday finished not too badly - maybe not the healthiest of meals but only 3 meals and 2 snacks, all pre-planned, no random eating.

Today's task - to eat the same meals but make them lighter, either in volume or calories.
Unfortunately, there were 100 black dogs sitting on my head when I woke up this morning but I'm going to try and walk through them. :)

:hug:s to all other sufferers!

Dog hit me with a large bar of chocolate yesterday.
Today I will try harder. Why can't that dog just Sit, Stay!?

Yesterday evening I was on my way to the corner shop for a totally unwarranted cake when I got a txt from Silverbirch reminding me spring is nearly here. I let the cake be, and had a black coffee instead. Thankyou, friend!

So, the dog seems a bit of a lighter shade of black this morning.

Following on from yesterday's quite significant buzz at declining a cake, I decided not to wait until
Monday
the 1st of the month
Lent
any other arbitrary but delaying Start Date, and put a marker down for today.
I got on the scales, expecting at leaast 175. I'm 169. Now, that is hardly spectacular but it's not nearly as bad as it could have been, and it's actually 2lbs lower since the last time I logged anything on DietPower. Hm.

DP gives me a calorie budget of -520 (minus! 520). This, of course, I will ignore. I'll start with a modest 1600, ok, maybe even 1800, just to get me back into the logging/accountability mode.

The paler black dog is currently walking to heel. :)