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Old 02-22-2011, 12:45 PM   #1
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Default They Didn't Even Recognize Me

So, saw an old acquaintance that I haven't seen in over 2 years, he has always been particularly annoying to me and I to him. But he didn't recognize me at all, I mean at all, I was sitting across from him, I was in his car, I was in his house. Mind you it was my girlfriend I was tagging along with the guy is her friend. When he finally realized it was me he was stunned so stunned he continually brought it up the 3 hours we were in his house.

Is it just me or is this offensive? I feel as if the many years he has know me he has never looked me in the face. I was an obese body therefore there was no need to look in my face or get a sense of who I was. He said I used to be nerdy, hyper personality with no style, wow all that!? It is hard to come to terms with it because I know that I have always been a great person it's just sad that many others automatically dismissed me based solely on appearance.

I understand that this is common, physical appearance weighs a lot (pun intended) but it disheartening none the less.
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Old 02-22-2011, 12:53 PM   #2
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Well, I think the not recognizing you part is understandable, but telling you that you used to be "nerdy, hyper personality with no style"? That's a horse of a different color. That's not something he had any right to say. Is it any less offensive to say "you used to be"? That was just in poor taste.

But be proud that he didn't recognize you! Many of us lose weight in our faces and we truly end up looking like different people. People from my past now recognize me straight off. It's people who have only known me recently who are having a hard time knowing who I am now. I get a lot of "I almost didn't recognize you." I don't take it as a compliment or a negative...just a fact.
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)

My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
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Old 02-22-2011, 01:02 PM   #3
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What did you say in response? Sheesh what a jerk! I mean it's one thing to say "wow you look great" and another thing to go nuts like he did.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that- hopefully you never have to deal with him again!
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Old 02-22-2011, 01:18 PM   #4
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he sounds like a loser jerk. p.s. awesome job on the over 100 lost!!!!

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Old 02-22-2011, 06:49 PM   #5
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nerdy, hyper personality with no style

that's jerky to say but at least it's not all weight-related right?? it IS personality / style stuff, so maybe he didn't just see you as an overweight body -- LOL not that that helps at all it's still kind of a dick thing to say LOL but i'd personally rather someone be a dick about ME than just my old SIZE

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Old 02-22-2011, 08:53 PM   #6
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Eliana originally posted Well, I think the not recognizing you part is understandable, but telling you that you used to be "nerdy, hyper personality with no style"? That's a horse of a different color. That's not something he had any right to say. Is it any less offensive to say "you used to be"? That was just in poor taste.
I agree with Eliana!

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Old 02-23-2011, 12:54 AM   #7
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he really sounds like a jerk!...I would love for someone not to recognize me...but his other comments were extremely rude.
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Old 02-23-2011, 02:47 AM   #8
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He rly sounds like a jerk, but on the other hand i prefer someone not to like ME cause of my personality rather than "omg you r just fat" lol.
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Old 02-23-2011, 03:06 AM   #9
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I'm with Eliana too. Not recognizing you is great. Insulting who you used to be, because you are still tht person, is very rude indeed. twit.

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Old 02-23-2011, 07:24 AM   #10
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"nerdy, hyper personality with no style"

Why in the world does this guy think he has the right to say anything at all about your personality -- either previous or current??!! What a rude, shallow and immature comment!
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Old 02-23-2011, 07:36 AM   #11
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I've been there too. Some guys can just be jerks. I met this one guy once when I was heavier and dressed kinda sloppy and he didn't even acknowledge me when we were introduced. I saw him again a few months later when I was dressed up and had lost a bit of weight, and he wouldn't take his eyes off of me or stop talking to me, and my husband was right there. It's good you know what a jerk he is right from the start. How insulting, like you weren't the same person when you were heavier or something!
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Old 02-23-2011, 08:24 AM   #12
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Sounds like he was intentionally trying to get to you, but knew that if he got on your case about your weight, he'd be slapped down not only by you but your friend, as well.

As for not recognizing you, some people aren't perceptive. They honestly just can't -see- passed their own eyelashes. Other people, though, are so lazy that, at first glance, they place you in a category and never bother to look again at you.

(I remember being confused quite often with a heavy latina girl who was a foot shorter, short haired, thick accent, and whose makeup put Tammy Faye to shame. We looked -nothing- alike... ****, we sounded nothing alike, but I guess a couple of people I had daily interactions with just put us both in the Fat Latina category and never bothered to even try to differentiate again.)

This is no where near a reflection on you. It just shows you just how shallow and mentally lazy they are. At least you know they aren't worth thinking about. I'm sorry it happened to you, but try to remember the source.
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Old 02-23-2011, 08:31 AM   #13
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I hate that part about weight loss. Everyone wants to tell you how much better you looked, and how awful you looked before. It hurts because you still feel like that obese person. Well, you are that same person, just a new body. I have only lost a little bit of weight, and I have gotten this. I hate when they go on to describe how bad I looked and what has improved.
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Old 02-23-2011, 05:33 PM   #14
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I completely agree that his comments were out of line and rude.

But, and please realize that I'm not trying to be at all mean or cruel, could there be any truth to his ill-advised sentiment? You were mostly likely ALWAYS an awesome person, but two years is a long time to have to grow.

I know that two years ago, I was a much different person. Two years before that, I was a completely different person. Awesome, sure, but in much different ways. Weight loss has, at least for me, changed aspects of my personality because I feel more confident just being me....instead of the "me" i thought others expected out of me.

Once again, his comments were rude and out of line. But I think there is a grain of truth to the idea that a major life change, like losing weight, CAN affect our personalities.
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Old 02-24-2011, 07:07 AM   #15
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Originally Posted by reptogirl View Post
he sounds like a loser jerk. p.s. awesome job on the over 100 lost!!!!
I agree with reptogirl. Given that you didn't have a positive relationship with him, maybe it was a good thing that he didn't recognize you. Eventually, he did, and it sounds like he didn't know what to say.
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