Started at 216 in August. I used to be happy at 155 I got close and was miserable. I gained almost 20 pounds back after I got depressed. I start January 7th at 181 I am worried the same thing will happen. How can I prevent this??

I don't know but I know that I've had a similar situation. I had lost a whole bunch of weight and then, I was not satisfied. I was upset because I didn't feel like I was as good as I had expected. This time around, I'm so grateful to be losing that I've come to realize that it's not about perfection...it's about accepting yourself. Lose weight to be healthy and be proud of yourself and give yourself time to adjust to your new body. Instead of being critical and looking for fault, try to focus on the positive and give yourself daily affirmations (complement yourself)...it really can make a difference if you truly want to change. If that doesn't work, then perhaps a therapist. I know that many people cannot accept themselves because of childhood trauma of some sort, or a negative experience that hurt their ego and they cannot overcome it. I really hope you find your way.

Sounds to me like you are putting too much emphasis on the number on the scale making you happy. Maybe it's not the weight at all and something deeper underneath that's causing you to be unhappy no matter where you are at?

I hope you can find happiness or at least peace with your weight.

I think a lot of us expect losing weight to transform us into perfect people with perfect lives, but the truth is no matter how many pounds down you are, you're still the same person. You'll still have the bad non food related habits you had when you were heavier and you may still have the same hang-ups about other sectors of life.

What else was going on in your life when you were 155 lbs? Did you move since then? Were dating? Enjoying school/work? Family life?

Maybe it isn't so much the weight, but the other stuff that you miss, and you need to spend some time identifying it and sorting it apart from the fitness goals.

A.

I agree with everything posted so far.

One thing I've noticed over the years (experienced it myself, too) is "I'll be happy if..." thinking. I'll be happy if I lose weight, I'll be happy if I move to a new city, I'll be happy if I buy some item or another.

The problem hits the fan (forgive the mixed metaphor) when you get what you were wishing for, and you're still not happy. Then the bottom can drop out. I didn't turn to therapy when that happened to me, and I probably should have.

It seems to me that people's bodies are rarely perfect when they get to goal weight--there are always some flaws. People who either get obsessed/preoccupied with the flaws and continually drop their goal weight, or who get depressed/discouraged when the weight loss didn't really make them happy, probably need to deal with the mental issues moreso than the physical issues.

Good luck--I hope you find what you're looking for.

I have been trying to work on this along the way. Doing what's healthy for me, and accepting my body at every phase. I do wonder if I will struggle with it though, because I have no idea who I will be when I'm that smaller size. My weight has always given me a limited mindset.
I don't have much advice, but what's been given and will be given I'm sure will help.