So in 96 hours, I'll be tucked up in bed in Jerusalem. Wow, just wow.
At the minute, I'm so wound up:
* Crap, crappy, crappiest work meeting last week. Snarl.
*I am getting so little sleep because I have to take one of the dogs to bed because her dementia has got worse and if I leave her downstairs she howls at the washing machine all night but on the bed she's quite restless and if I go to bed too early, none of them can last through the night without pools and little gifts so I'm on about 4 hours max at the moment.
* Her dementia is making her very snappy with the other dogs, sometimes. I'm constantly on the alert. She's happy a lot of the time. I feel guilty because I'm not giving the other dogs the same attention.
* Although they're quite well, the dogs are all 14 or 15 and I'm afraid they'll die while I'm away.
* Although she's quite well, my mother is 90 and I'm afraid she'll die while I'm away.
* I'm afraid of flying.
* I'm afraid of terrorism.
* I'm afraid my head, which still hurts after the fall 4 months ago, will explode on the plane and I'll die. (It's (probably) a damaged frontal sinus, I'm on a steroid spray).
* I'm anxious about having to share a room, haven't done it in 25 years.
* I'm ANXIOUS about having to share a bathroom. What if I can't go? What if I go too much?
* I'm just keeping the lid on not over eating. I'm going up and down the same pound.
I went to my local corner shop, which has just re-opened after 6 months, and the owner told me I look fantastic, much younger, look really good in my clothes.
So I didn't buy the bar of chocolate after all.
At the minute, it seems there's a whole lot of dirt to make just the one bloom but it was a good one.