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Never reached goal...

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Old 01-13-2011, 01:34 PM   #1
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Default Never reached goal...

As you can see by the right side, I have belonged to this forum since 07. My first "goal" has ALWAYS been 190. And I have NEVER reached it. This is making me sad/angry/frustrated/hurt...I'm not reaching for food for comfort, I really want to know what my block is. I know my problem is food...but why can't I accomplish goals??
Also yesterday was just a sad day. I allowed myself to have a little bit of chocolate, which led to over eating. Normally it would lead to a 4 or 5 day binge, but I'm just letting go of yesterday and starting today. But I realized something about that chocolate I ate. I didn't even enjoy it. I watch my husband each chocolate and he takes a piece, sticks it in his mouth, and sucks on it. He ENJOYS it. Meanwhile I have already eaten 4 or 5 pieces that I chewed a few times and swallowed. I seriously think I have a problem....isn't this what addicts do? I don't even KNOW how to help myself. But I need help....
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Old 01-13-2011, 02:01 PM   #2
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Emotional Eating is like that. We expect to love what we are eating, instead of loving the food we love the feeling we get from just eating 'something'. I never used to like sweets, but now I can honestly say I am in love with sweets because I know how I can control it. You may love chocolate, but you can't know that right now. When you get to where you are going you will learn to appreciate and value your small pcs of chocolate because it will be a well thought out controlled treat that you enjoy because you want a pc not because you have to have it. Not sure how the emotional/binge eating forum is here but it might be a great place to visit? I am an emotional eater, well not any more I actually can say I have beat it. I had to learn how to find ways to handle my life stressors and learn other ways to feel good/happy without food. Food was my comfort and I ate because I liked it, I loved it. I enjoyed sitting back and eating yummy tasty food. Now I do the same but I do it with so much learned control. Calorie counting and setting myself up in a positive environment has really helped.
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Old 01-13-2011, 02:04 PM   #3
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You have lost 42 pounds which is really a BIG weight loss and a BIG success. I think that you just need to readjust your goal system and set yourself up to see how successful you are. You are making yourself wait too long to feel successful.

I set small goals of 5 or 10 pounds which really do make a difference in how I feel. If you think that 5 or 10 pounds is a small amount, pick up a bag of sugar or flour to give yourself some frame of reference. Set those smaller goals and celebrate each one of them. Post here when you meet one of them.

You have proved that you can lose weight! You just have to realize how successful you are instead of being so hard on yourself.
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Old 01-13-2011, 03:49 PM   #4
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I'm in therapy for such things.

I suggest it.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:28 PM   #5
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I totally know how you feel! It took me 2 years to get to my first goal (199). It was only 30 pounds, but I would get to like 207 and then slowly crawl back up. I know how frustrating it gets, but all I can say is if I could do, than you can totally do it!

As far as not enjoying food you eat, I had to start consciously eating slower, and ONLY eating. I used to eat while studying, or watching TV, or talking on the phone, and then all of a sudden the food was gone and I didn't even remember eating it! Now I take the time to eat - and only eat - and eat slower. For chocolate specifically, I put it in the freezer. You HAVE to suck it, because it's too hard to bite right through it. So you pretty much force yourself to enjoy it.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:33 PM   #6
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you got to set yourself up for success. if junky snack food is your weakness, dont have it in the house. Ban it completely. If you live with others who insist on it, lock it up and give them the key (drastic, I know). One thing that helps me to not overeat is chew gum. I always feel like my mouth needs to be busy, and that helps alot.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:42 PM   #7
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you have done the rght thing you had one bad day and you didnt let that ruin your whole journey you just let it go and get back up. If your at a plateau you should assess what your doing if your eating right but not exercising try to introduce some form of exercise or instead of eating the same amount of cals every day fluctuate it up and down about 200-300 cals
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:42 PM   #8
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I know how you feel. I do that sometimes too. It used to be something I did all the time but I'm learning to talk myself out of it. Sometimes I don't feel like I've eaten enough until I can feel my stomach about to burst. No matter what I've consumed I am not satisfied until I have that feeling. But once I'm done being "satisfied" I feel such a horrible feeling. I'm too full, I'm miserable, and I'm still sabotaging myself after I know what this weight is doing to me. Right now my motivation not too over eat is that my body is doing pretty well for the first time in over a year. I need this soo much.

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Old 01-13-2011, 04:44 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkHoodie View Post
As you can see by the right side, I have belonged to this forum since 07. My first "goal" has ALWAYS been 190. And I have NEVER reached it. This is making me sad/angry/frustrated/hurt...I'm not reaching for food for comfort, I really want to know what my block is. I know my problem is food...but why can't I accomplish goals??
Also yesterday was just a sad day. I allowed myself to have a little bit of chocolate, which led to over eating. Normally it would lead to a 4 or 5 day binge, but I'm just letting go of yesterday and starting today. But I realized something about that chocolate I ate. I didn't even enjoy it. I watch my husband each chocolate and he takes a piece, sticks it in his mouth, and sucks on it. He ENJOYS it. Meanwhile I have already eaten 4 or 5 pieces that I chewed a few times and swallowed. I seriously think I have a problem....isn't this what addicts do? I don't even KNOW how to help myself. But I need help....
Yes!

This is what I did on my daughters birthday. I crammed a cupcake into my mouth and realized 10 minutes later that I didnt even remember what it tasted like. I as so angry because I realized it had CONTROLLED ME. Like a controlled substance. It was a wake up call. I am now calling this a Food Addiction and I dont care who it offends. I have a problem.

I dont have any advice because obviously I am struggling with the same issue but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

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Last edited by The Last Noel : 01-13-2011 at 04:45 PM.
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Old 01-13-2011, 04:58 PM   #10
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Do you keep a food log/journal at all? It's really helped me to be more mindful of my eating. Doesn't have to be anything fancy, a notebook is fine. For me, the knowledge that I ate emotionally wasn't enough, but once I saw what emotions triggered eating, what foods triggered more eating, etc., it was easier to deal with.

When you get the urge for food, pull out the journal first. Where do you feel the hunger-- is it in your head, or do you physically feel hungry? Rate your physical hunger 1-10, 1 is not hungry at all, 10 is so ravenous you could eat a horse. Are you having any cravings for specific foods? How are you feeling, emotionally? If after writing that all down you feel like you are really hungry and need a meal, then eat.

While you're eating, be very, very mindful about what you're doing. Only eat, like another poster said. Prepare your food, sit down, and eat the food, no distractions. Drink water between bites if you have to. Watch the clock and see how long it takes you to eat your snack, meal, or treat.

After you're done, get that journal out again and write about the experience. How long did it take you to eat? What did you eat? Scale of 1-10, how full are you? Did you have any emotional or odd reactions to certain foods? How do you feel now?

It sounds silly, but it can really help to do for at least a few days, just to give yourself some idea of what is going on with your eating. You might find foods that trigger binges, like the chocolate. Then once you've got the knowledge you need, make little changes. Maybe chocolate is a total trigger food for you, but some other sweet isn't at all. You never know.
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Old 01-13-2011, 09:28 PM   #11
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i'm with you! 10 years ago I was once up to 278 and lost over 90 pounds, maintained for a year then slowly crept back up to 200, got pregnant and now i'm 230. i have such a problem with food. sometimes i think i've got it figured out but i can't seem to get it under control. i am fine all day and all night but when i come home i never fail to binge eat on healthy snacks. i'll have a yogurt, a 100 calorie pack, an apple, some almongs and a cup of soup. then 2 hours later i will have a light dinner. you are not alone!
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Old 01-14-2011, 12:58 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aasshhlleeyy View Post
you have done the rght thing you had one bad day and you didnt let that ruin your whole journey you just let it go and get back up. If your at a plateau you should assess what your doing if your eating right but not exercising try to introduce some form of exercise or instead of eating the same amount of cals every day fluctuate it up and down about 200-300 cals
Yep very good advice. I also like what time2lose says about setting 5-10 Lb. small goals.
PinkHoodie hang in there sweetheart I myself have hit a plateau. It is really frustrating. I was doing good until Christmas and it seems like I have been bouncing from 197-194 Lbs. and back ever since. I decided to drink more water and bump up the exercise this week and see if the scale will move on down some. I have been sad too. Especially at night- I'm trying to figure out what I am doing wrong
I guess you could say we have hit a bump in the road- it ain't over yet though- we will not give up or in
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