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Hitting a psychological roadblock. Just need pearls of wisdom!!!

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Old 01-04-2011, 03:53 PM   #1
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Default Hitting a psychological roadblock. Just need pearls of wisdom!!!

OK, so this is probably going to be like a giant stream of consciousness. Let's just start with where I am. Smack in the middle of 100 lbs to lose with 50 lbs gone. So I should feel great, right? Well, I do, physically. However, this is where my head is at

I've been struggling with my weight ever since I hit adulthood. One time in my early twenties, I made it to right about 205 or so, and couldn't get the scale to go any lower, gave up, and gained it back. Plus some. I know now I was starving myself and unsustainable.

My senior year in high school during my sports physical, I weighed in at 202. So technically, I've never been in "ONEDERLAND" as an adult person. Right now, the scale is bouncing between 214/215/216. I am making the big push to get to the "No longer obese" and "ONEDERLAND" and I feel confident, but...

This is my head dialogue.
"You're right at the spot where you gave up last time. Remember? Your not gonna make it".

"You've never been under 200 lbs as an adult. You can't weigh as much as you did in high school. That is impossible. Especially since you gave birth 21 months ago."

"I don't really think I can make it to under 200 lbs. I'm going to fail at this."

"Great, so you've lost 50 lbs. Your body still looks like crap. 50 more lbs? That's still not going to fix this train wreck called your "midsection".

"50 lbs, and still fat rolls. Lovehandles. Jiggly parts. Nice. Why am I working so hard, to still look like this?"

"If I had only had 50 lbs to lose instead of 100, maybe I would look hot right now. Right now I look like all the successful dieters when they post the "in-between" photos.



...So this is kind of where my head is at. I guess I just need some love from somebody who has been at the halfway mark and is feeling weird and unsure.

Thanks for listening. And no, no matter what, this broad is not giving up. Jelly rolls or not!!!! 165 or bust!!!
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Old 01-04-2011, 03:58 PM   #2
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Oooohhhh, I feel you honey!

I have lost 30-some pounds and have 30-some left to go to meet my first (variable) goal. I have expected to be in "onderland" for some months now, but my body and my mind can't get together on this one. . .

Listen, do NOT give up!! Don't do it! The only way you can fail is if you give up.

Stick to your plan, stick to your plan, tweak it if you have to, but do NOT stop. You'll be under 200, off your plateau, and on your way to GOAL before you know it!

You can do this!
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Old 01-04-2011, 04:01 PM   #3
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No pearls, but I can sympathize and tell you the next 50 lbs will be more rewarding than the first 50. Psychologically the first 50 were great because it was proving to myself I could really do it, but payoffs like improved appearance, regular clothing sizes, etc. didn't start happening until the second 50. So keep going, the next stage is slower but a bit more fun (at least for me).
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Old 01-04-2011, 04:04 PM   #4
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WOW deja vu.
I felt that way, still do some days. It's rough changing your mentality. One day it'll click you just have to remember that.

Accept, Embrace, Forgive and Recognize.

Accept where you are now,it may not be exactly where you want to be, but its a far way from where you started. You've made positive changes and they are paying off.
Embrace - pick out something that you LOVE about yourself, pick out a few, whatever they are. Focus on those and refuse to let negative thoughts in your mind. I know easier said than done. When a negative thought pops into your head, reply with "I love xx about me"
Forgive yourself for any time you have tried and not gotten the outcome you wanted. Don't focus on what you didn't do last time, what didn't work, what you didn't achieve. You are doing it right this time, and you WILL acheive what it is you want.
Recognize how far you've come and how much healthier you have made yourself. You have taken 50 pounds off!! Yeah, 50 . . . that is amazing! Remind yourself of what great things you've done, pat yourself on the back and keep kicking butt!!
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Old 01-04-2011, 04:06 PM   #5
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My all-time pregnant high was in the 270's, my start weight was probably around 260 (257 was my first weigh-in, but that was after a few weeks of trying to be on a healther track) and I just had a baby three months ago. And yet, I am ten pounds down from my pre pregnancy weight and only five away from onederland, after having never really been a small adult.

You CAN do it, but defeating that head game is tricky. I had a mental block around 207-210, and I only powered through it by focusing on staying on plan and not what the scale numbers meant. When I stopped psyching myself out, lo and behold made it past my block and onto a new low. It is doable, it just takes time, focus, and a willingness to push through years of bad mental talk to get to the truth.
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Old 01-04-2011, 04:53 PM   #6
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I was right about where you are last October - thinner but still sad about how fat I looked and really not convinced I could make it to Onederland (haven't been there in 2 decades) or that it would make any difference.

Then I had my annual bloodwork and the numbers all came back great and much improved over last year. Wow! Was that ever a booster shot of confidence that I was doing the right thing.

You are doing something wonderful for your body. You are giving yourself healthiness. And you are worth it! (and Onederland totally is attainable!)
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Old 01-04-2011, 05:14 PM   #7
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FattyMc -

Thank you for starting this thread. Although I have no pearls I feel renewed by reading the pearls others have left. Just what the dr. order!

You can do it; keep going!!!
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Old 01-04-2011, 05:23 PM   #8
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No problem, DixC Chix.

I'm so thankful for you guys. You all really "get it". My DH tries hard, but he does not. I need the strength of people who have been there.
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Old 01-04-2011, 05:33 PM   #9
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One thing you wrote really stuck with me.

Quote:
"If I had only had 50 lbs to lose instead of 100, maybe I would look hot right now. Right now I look like all the successful dieters when they post the "in-between" photos.
Guess what? The reason all of those successful dieters got to "goal" was that...they went through all the in between phases. And the fact that you're at the "in between" phase means that you're JUST LIKE THEM...on your way to getting to goal.

So why not mentally reframe that statement to "Hey, I look just like the in-between photos in the goals section! That proves that it is possible to move past this and get to where I want to be!"
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Old 01-04-2011, 05:55 PM   #10
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You are so right Mandalinn
I need to see that I am going to make it. How freaking cool is that that I GOT to this point???
The glass is half full...
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Old 01-04-2011, 06:17 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fattymcfatty View Post
OK, so this is probably going to be like a giant stream of consciousness. Let's just start with where I am. Smack in the middle of 100 lbs to lose with 50 lbs gone. So I should feel great, right? Well, I do, physically. However, this is where my head is at

I've been struggling with my weight ever since I hit adulthood. One time in my early twenties, I made it to right about 205 or so, and couldn't get the scale to go any lower, gave up, and gained it back. Plus some. I know now I was starving myself and unsustainable.

My senior year in high school during my sports physical, I weighed in at 202. So technically, I've never been in "ONEDERLAND" as an adult person. Right now, the scale is bouncing between 214/215/216. I am making the big push to get to the "No longer obese" and "ONEDERLAND" and I feel confident, but...

This is my head dialogue.
"You're right at the spot where you gave up last time. Remember? Your not gonna make it".

"You've never been under 200 lbs as an adult. You can't weigh as much as you did in high school. That is impossible. Especially since you gave birth 21 months ago."

"I don't really think I can make it to under 200 lbs. I'm going to fail at this."

"Great, so you've lost 50 lbs. Your body still looks like crap. 50 more lbs? That's still not going to fix this train wreck called your "midsection".

"50 lbs, and still fat rolls. Lovehandles. Jiggly parts. Nice. Why am I working so hard, to still look like this?"

"If I had only had 50 lbs to lose instead of 100, maybe I would look hot right now. Right now I look like all the successful dieters when they post the "in-between" photos.



...So this is kind of where my head is at. I guess I just need some love from somebody who has been at the halfway mark and is feeling weird and unsure.

Thanks for listening. And no, no matter what, this broad is not giving up. Jelly rolls or not!!!! 165 or bust!!!


Hang in there honey.. you halfway there.. that is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-04-2011, 06:57 PM   #12
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You can do it.

Change your mantras, those voices in your head. Right down positive phrases and read them to yourself everyday until they are a reality and they've pushed those negative voices out of your head!! Put them on sticky notes! I have to start this again, I used it when I was on track last time and I haven't done it yet, so it's a good reminder for me as well!!

You can do it!
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Old 01-04-2011, 07:04 PM   #13
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"You've never been under 200 lbs as an adult. You can't weigh as much as you did in high school. That is impossible. Especially since you gave birth 21 months ago."


wow, to be SO special that the laws of physics don't apply LOL There's no secret formula, or no secret handshake that only the thinnies get to experience. Eat less, move more, repeat, and let physics do the rest.

"Great, so you've lost 50 lbs. Your body still looks like crap. 50 more lbs? That's still not going to fix this train wreck called your "midsection".


does it look better NOW than it did 50 pounds ago? Logic dictates that 50 pounds FROM now it'll look even BETTER. Or, the other option is to stop. And stay that way. Or gain it all back. And maybe some extra on top of it. That sounds like plan LOL NOOOTTTTTT!!!

I think there's a 'reality section' about weight loss that is missing from most stories -- as in, a LOT of it sucks, digging around for reasons why you're fat sucks, not eating and drinking what you want at any time sucks, things aren't all rainbows and unicorns once you lose weight. But I'll wager that more often than not things are BETTER out the other side.

The time's gonna pass no matter what, and I'm glad to see you're gonna plow right on thru the crappy parts! head down, barrel thru and woohooo you're on the other side!!!
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Old 01-04-2011, 07:49 PM   #14
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Ok, I've never been where you are, but gosh! I hope to be someday. So here are some thoughts drawn from non-weight related life experiences.

1. Have a clear mental picture of what you are trying to accomplish, like you running up a flight of stairs with ease or you in a really hot dress out to dinner with your honey or you hiking with your family and enjoying it --- whatever really exemplifies the benefits you are pursuing. Think about it until you can really feel the moment. Then when those voices pop up, counter with a minute of very strong imagination.

2. Pick a smaller goal, like losing 5 pounds by a deadline, and concentrate on that. Make sure to really pat yourself on the back when you get there and then pick another smaller, closer goal.

3. This might be completely off base, but you almost sound afraid of succeeding. 50 pounds is already a huge change and more is coming --- how do you feel about that? People treat you differently and have different expectations. You don't get to hide behind the "I can't do that cuz I'm too fact" excuse. Would journaling help?

Again, I am not talking from experience here, so take my advice with a shaker of salt. But you have already accomplished so much, how can you NOT keep going?

Congratulations on an impressive loss already!
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Old 01-04-2011, 08:00 PM   #15
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SparrowSings,
I don't think I have fear of success. I would love it, but don't believe I'll get there. Even though yes, if I stick to the plan, I will. And trust me, I am not going to give up. No way. I am staying on plan and I am going to keep going.
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