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Old 12-21-2010, 02:17 AM   #1
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Default Feel like a failure...

Because I can't get things back in control. I have posted this before, but nothing is working. All my old tricks for getting back on track work for a few hours, but then I find myself screaming for candy and carbs...I know that I just have to suck it up and deal with being uncomfortable, but I just can't seem to face it right now.
Mainly I just wanted it to be there in black and white. My goal for this week is to hit the gym every morning, because I know eventually that will help me get the eating on track. But I hate this hold that food has over me. And I hate the holiday's. Its a depressing time for me for many reasons, and there is plenty of horrible food to drown my sorrows in. Just can't wait until the holiday's are over....
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Old 12-21-2010, 03:18 AM   #2
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You are not a failure. Sugar is a real addiction. The more you say "no" and get the sugar out of your system, the easier it is to continue to say "no".

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Originally Posted by PinkHoodie View Post
All my old tricks for getting back on track work for a few hours, but then I find myself screaming for candy and carbs
Decide you won't eat any sugar (includes the white carbs) for the next hour, or next two hours, or today. Then don't. You can recommit again every couple of hours. It's hard! If it were easy, we'd all be skinny.
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Old 12-21-2010, 04:00 AM   #3
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Old 12-21-2010, 04:43 AM   #4
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im with you. I was doing so well but after the 1st couple xmas partys i felt like hey if i cant beat um join um.. well now im 1 week i of binging and im miserable. Its like i know what i must do but i find a way of sabotaging myself... You will get through this. just like i will .. we need to do this for ourselfs and know that the feeling of food wont last as long as the feeling of being dedicated to our plan.. i know easier said than done but hey we didnt come this far to throw away all our hard pounds lost.. right?
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Old 12-21-2010, 05:50 AM   #5
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I really think I know how you are feeling. I am definitely starting to associate trigger foods with having screaming cravings. Here I have been going right along, eating very sensibly and wondering why in the heck I didn't do this sooner. It's really not so hard, I am satisfied with my food/diet, etc, blah blah BLAH!

A couple weeks ago, we had my daughter's sleepover bday party, and to avoid all the other snacks, I ate a footlong sub from Subway (a sensible one), and indulged in a piece of bday cake. The next day I was climbing the walls to just pig out. Honestly I was actually starting to understand why a drug addict would steal an old lady's purse to get some crack. I tried and tried to just remember how I HAD been feeling, that this was not so tough, that I have a good plan and I need to stick with it, but I was really, really uncomfortable and very distressed. Somehow I made it through that day. I did overeat, but I did it with carrots and low fat ranch, 1/2 a jar of pickles , meat. I pretty much ate all day long, but nothing that I suspected would be a trigger for me, even though those were what I wanted, and none of the food I ate took the "hunger" away. The next day was much less uncomfortable, and by the 3rd day I was pretty much back to my sanity.

I really think if you can get through one day without your trigger foods, it'll make a BIG difference toward getting back where you want to be mentally. I am really glad this has happened to me a couple times, because I'm seeing a pattern. Now I know that if I do veer off, there is going to be some discomfort involved. That helps me to avoid doing it very often, and it also has taught me that the unbelievable discomfort following IS temporary.

I don't know if you can recognize any of this in yourself because we are all so different in how food affects us. But I hope it helps!
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Old 12-21-2010, 06:26 AM   #6
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Just committ to make it one day. Promise yourself that you will have one day where you absolutely stick to your plans (go to the gym and eat healthy). That is all you need to worry about.

When you wake up the next day you can take it from there and do your best to make it another day. You need to get the ball rolling again, but once it does, you have it within you to keep going as far as you want.
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Old 12-21-2010, 06:37 AM   #7
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I can only echo the wisdom above.

Get three days of clean eating under your belt. That is all! From there it's easy. Unfortunately, you picked a really rotten time of year to get those three days behind you. Either get it done or let up on yourself until the new year.
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Old 12-21-2010, 07:12 AM   #8
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You can get back on plan! Go clothes shopping and look at some cute clothes in smaller sizes you would like...find something to completely distract you from food and focus on that. Just get through this one day, and the next day will be easier and easier. I know it's hard but it is so worth it to lose the weight - the momentary treat of food is just not even close to being worth living in a healthy body.
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Old 12-21-2010, 08:28 AM   #9
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For PinkHoodie, and for all of us. Inspiration is taken from the previous posts. The challenge of getting through today...each hour is a Victory!
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Old 12-21-2010, 08:57 AM   #10
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If your old plan isn't working, try a new plan. I am a big believer that it's better to stick 100% to a more liberal plan than to stick 75% to a more restrictive plan.

This is what I am talking about: Jean and Suzie are both on a diet. Jean eats 1200 calories a day, but she is hungry all the time. Once a week or so she "gives in" and eats a big meal, moving her daily average up to 1600. Suzie eats 1600 calories a day, and is never stressed out or driven crazy by the desire to eat. They are on the exact same diet, but Suzie feels competent and in control, and Jean feels like a failure and a loser.

We commit to really strict plans because making them makes us feel powerful, but then not achieving them makes us feel lousy. Baby steps are ok, as long as you keep making them.

And it's ok to ease into a plan. Give yourself 3 days where you can eat as much as you want, but it all has to be healthy, non-trigger foods (and make a list in advance). That will clear some of the sugar out of your system and give you the confidence to move on to the next phase, re-learning to live with mild hunger.

I see you keep trying to go to the gym and failing. I'd adjust what you do there. For the next week, go every day, but plan to do half of what you normally do. It's harder to talk yourself out of half because it really doesn't seem like that big of a deal, so you don't dread it as much and you don't look as hard for excuses.
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Old 12-21-2010, 09:07 AM   #11
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I'm with Shmead. If what you are trying to do lately isn't working for you, try something else.

I've been struggling lately too and I'd start each day perfectly but somehow I wasn't following through I've been bouncing around the same damn 10 lbs the last 3 years but lately it seems even harder. I've had a lot of stresses lately and even more stress eating.

I looked into OA and saw that they recommend 3 meals day/no snacking. No snacking? Sounds ridiculous. What if I get hungry? Anyway, I've been doing it for 5 days and the scale is moving down, my clothes are fitting looser and I went to my first OA meeting last night.

I think you may just need to evaluate what isn't working and see how you can tweak it to work for you.
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Old 12-21-2010, 11:07 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shannonmb View Post
I really think I know how you are feeling. I am definitely starting to associate trigger foods with having screaming cravings. Here I have been going right along, eating very sensibly and wondering why in the heck I didn't do this sooner. It's really not so hard, I am satisfied with my food/diet, etc, blah blah BLAH!

A couple weeks ago, we had my daughter's sleepover bday party, and to avoid all the other snacks, I ate a footlong sub from Subway (a sensible one), and indulged in a piece of bday cake. The next day I was climbing the walls to just pig out. Honestly I was actually starting to understand why a drug addict would steal an old lady's purse to get some crack. I tried and tried to just remember how I HAD been feeling, that this was not so tough, that I have a good plan and I need to stick with it, but I was really, really uncomfortable and very distressed. Somehow I made it through that day. I did overeat, but I did it with carrots and low fat ranch, 1/2 a jar of pickles , meat. I pretty much ate all day long, but nothing that I suspected would be a trigger for me, even though those were what I wanted, and none of the food I ate took the "hunger" away. The next day was much less uncomfortable, and by the 3rd day I was pretty much back to my sanity.

I really think if you can get through one day without your trigger foods, it'll make a BIG difference toward getting back where you want to be mentally. I am really glad this has happened to me a couple times, because I'm seeing a pattern. Now I know that if I do veer off, there is going to be some discomfort involved. That helps me to avoid doing it very often, and it also has taught me that the unbelievable discomfort following IS temporary.

I don't know if you can recognize any of this in yourself because we are all so different in how food affects us. But I hope it helps!
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Old 12-21-2010, 11:32 AM   #13
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PinkHoodie, people far more experienced than me will be able to offer you good advice, I am sure of that so let me just give you my heartfelt encouragement and point of view: if I understand your tricker correctly you have already lost a great deal of weight - far more than I ever have in all the weight loss attempts of my life so far! I think you can be and should be so proud of that!

I am sure that in the process you have overcome many challenges, just be confident that you will also handle this one. I mean, it is not about the holidays, or temptation, or failure - it is about you and the life you are building for yourself.

I am cheering for you.
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Old 12-21-2010, 11:38 AM   #14
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I want to echo all of the above brilliant advice, particularly the bit about: if it's not working, change it. Obviously, butterfly flittering between diets isn't a help but you don't have to grind on and on with something that's making you unhappy.
Believe me, you are not a failure! The only failure is totally abandoning it, and if that's what you'd done, there would be none of this kicking and screaming.

Sorry, I've forgotten what plan you're doing. If it's calorie counting, how about taking Now as Ground Zero and, for the next 2 weeks giving yourself what seems like a really splurgeous calorie budget? You might find you don't eat it all but if you do, you won't be failing, you'll be staying within your plan.
This way, you still have the routine of being in charge of your eating but you've deliberately given yourself a budget that accommodates and doesn't imprison.
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Old 12-21-2010, 02:40 PM   #15
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You all give such great advice and encouragement. @ Shannon, this is what I have started to recognize about mysel too. I have been telling myself 3 days, but I keep giving in. I am determined that I will not give in today.
I also know part of it is, I want to be able to eat some of the food on Christmas. So in my mind its the all or nothing attitude. Oh I know I'm going to be eating bad on Christmas, so why not just the 2 or 3 weeks before too? I just need to get over that.
I didn't make it to the gym today, it was a horrible night of sleep which I'm sure is related to the horrible diet. I am just trying to focus on eating for the rest of this week too.
Thank you for putting up with me, thank you for encouraging me over and over again...I don't know what I would do without this board. I know I haven't been the best at supporting others, but I am grateful that there are people here who will support you no matter what. You all just make me feel like even though yesterday was a bad day, today and tomorrow and the rest of my life doesn't have to be. So thank you for that.
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