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Old 12-16-2010, 11:55 AM   #1
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Default Struggling - Need Advice Or A Kick

I'm just past mid cycle again and the scale has been bouncing AGAIN this week and is driving me mad.
It stuck at 157lbs the time I really noticed, then at 146lbs, and now it's stuck again. The lowest number I saw last week was 140lbs and I've been giving it my all to get to under 140lbs by christmas, which will be a number I don't ever remember seeing as an adult. However with this mid cycle bounce I was back up to 141.5lbs on Monday, and have been 141lbs for the past two days.
My rational side is telling me it is the mid cycle issue and to stay calm, but the other side of me is freaking out completely as usual. The best christmas present I could ever ask for is to be under 140lbs and I want it so much it hurts. All the milestones along this journey have been great, but this is one I never thought I would EVER achieve, and it's as if I've put up a barrier now that means I really won't ever achieve it.
Like I said, whilst part of me is thinking just carry on, it will happen, the other is thinking that maybe this is the lowest I'll ever get (the lowest I remember being was 140lbs for a while back in my early 20's). Another small part of me is completely losing it and thinking that all the weight I've lost is going to start going back on now...
When I started this journey I weighed weekly only on a Friday, but for maybe the last 6 months or so I've weighed daily. I thought it was helping, but recently I'm seriously thinking it isn't. I know it shouldn't but the number on the scale sets my mood for the day. A stable number means a stable mood, a new low means a happy day, a gain and all is not right with the world. I know this is a problem and that worries me. I have recently become much calmer and more relaxed about my eating and exercise routine (that doesn't mean I've been slacking, have just got less obsessed and freaked out by things I know I can't control), but the scale thing is just driving me to distraction.
I think I need to go back to weighing weekly again, but then again I'm scared to do it. Like now for instance, I NEED to see that number coming back down, I NEED to see if I'm going to be able to get under 140lbs by Christmas, so the daily weighing continues, as do the mood swings. I know I'm putting too much pressure on myself and the stress isn't helping, but how do I stop?
Do I set a date and say, as of this date it's back to weekly weighing? And if so, what date?
I'm happy with my food intake and exercise routine, it's the scale that is causing these problems, so how can I take away it's power whilst still making sure I'm heading in the right direction?
Any ideas, advice, or a kick up the butt and telling me to stop whining would be welcome please?
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Old 12-16-2010, 01:28 PM   #2
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I'd say first, relax! lol, I know that's harder said than done, but it's vital. How is your sleep? Lack of sleep and too much stress both contribute to an inability to lose weight.

Do you eat food at night? High in sodium? Those two things help to raise my morning number also, even if it is just for one day.

What will happen if you weigh 139 at Christmas instead of 140? Realistically? Maybe you should think about why you want this SOO badly, RIGHT NOW. It seems like your weight lost has been pretty fast (coming from someone who lost 45 pounds in 3 years-talk about slow).

I'm not sure, some people will say weigh weekly, some will say weigh daily. My idea is this: do an experiment. Continue to weigh Daily, but try to write down everything you can. Weight, inches, food eaten, exercise, water, sleep, stress levels...some people even write their bathroom habits. Look for patterns. That way, you're working on taking control of this and trying to see what it is that is holding you back. Also I would recommend journalling during this time. You've done great so far with your weight loss, maybe writing things down would help you find out why you need this so bad, or if you're subconsciously sabotaging yourself, or whatever else it is that's hidden from you that's causing so many problems.

Good luck!

Starting again 5/22/2014:
193-safely away from 200 again!
184-under a 35 BMI!
179-finally out of 180!
176-pre-pregnancy weight!
168-20% total weight lost!
160-lowest adult weight I've been at!
153-No longer considered obese!
147-30% total lost!
145-weight I'd be happy at forever!
140-Normal weight for my size/frame!
135-my Dream weight

Last edited by atreyyena; 12-16-2010 at 01:30 PM.
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Old 12-16-2010, 03:23 PM   #3
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I am going to challenge you to think about the way you are talking to yourself.

The scale is not driving you mad. YOU are driving you mad. The scale does not set your mood - you do. Attitude is everything - pick a good one!

I personally see no good coming from 'deadline dieting'. I feel your pain a bout wanting to see progress but this is not a productive state of mind. It can be motivation but try not to let it be the 'be all and end all' of your progress. If I set a goal of 15# by New Years and lost 14# that is a failure by that standard. 14# is a great success otherwise. Get perspective on your weight loss from say last January.

Weight loss does not care about the scale or the calendar. It will happen when it happens. Just keep doing what has been successful for you during the last 100+ pounds lost.

Give yourself Peace of Mind and wrap that scale up and do not open til Christmas and whatever it shows is a gift. The BEST gift IMHO is that you are alive and healthy and vibrant and successful.

How's that for a kick in the butt?

Long term goal

Every day do something to make a better tomorrow.
Discipline is remembering what you want.
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Old 12-16-2010, 04:08 PM   #4
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I think your timeline may be a big part of your problem. You have it set in your head that Christmas is the magic date. I have one too...March. I have a wedding in March. When I started this last November I was so comfortable with the time line, I just knew I'd be at goal by then, no problem. I did not take into account my body's own sweet timeline.

It takes me MONTHS now to lose one pound. It really does. I lost two pounds in October and .6 pounds in November. So far for December, half way through and I've "lost" .8 pounds. In other words, I'm stuck and have been since pretty much the end of September.

There are days it drives me stark raving mad. Then there are days I look in the mirror and have a glimmer of a moment where I realize it isn't about the scale. It's about how I look. And I'm actually pretty happy with how I look.

Then I think I should call this goal.

Then I think, but I can't be in the 100 pound club if I don't lose 100 pounds! Seriously...I have a hang up about that.

Bottom line...we're in a good place. 5'4" and 140 pounds? Beautiful! Within the normal range! And with all the exercise you do, surely that's a nice toned 140 pounds, right?

My advice? It's what I tell myself every morning. The scale will move when it moves. In the mean time, this is what you're going to do for the rest of your life anyway, so what's the big hurry? Ditch the deadline. It's screwing with your head.

Now as to when to buy a new wardrobe...can't help you there. That's the one glitch in my brain I can't work my way around.
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)

My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html
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Old 12-16-2010, 05:01 PM   #5
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Loving me: Hi you have done such an awesome job with your weight loss! I also weigh daily. I have kept a daily weight journal since the beginning. It keeps me honest. I date it and record the day's weight. Even with staying on plan my weight bounces from 1-2 pounds all week long. I have discovered this is normal weight loss.

Take a moment and look at the merry scalemas Dec. weigh in thread. You will see that all the people there (me included) have weight that bounces back and forth. Yes it is the Christmas season and I would think most of the people are eating more on some day's than they normally would. But most are really trying to lose or maintain this month.

A month or so back I got very discouraged because I thought I was losing way to slowly. So I started every Sunday writing my weight for that day on the calendar that hangs in our kitchen. I noticed something...Yes everyday when I weighed I still wrote that in my journal- and it was as bouncy as ever but I noticed each Sunday the number was lower each week. Instead of looking at each day's number I looked at the weekly number. It showed a loss of 1-2 sometimes 3 Lbs. Occasionally 0 or a 1 Lb. gain. That is normal weight loss. Especially for my age (49).
Please don't let those numbers dictate your mood or happiness. You are doing great. If you feel you have become a little obsessed you may want to not weigh but once a week.
Our Greatest Glory Is Not In Never Failing, But In Rising Up Everytime We Fail.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Old 12-16-2010, 09:34 PM   #6
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Loving me- I'm sorry I just realized you are in the weigh in
in this thread (Dec. merry scalemas)
You have worked so hard and long for this (very successfully I might add).
I feel very foolish for giving you advice...you could teach me a thing or two!
Our Greatest Glory Is Not In Never Failing, But In Rising Up Everytime We Fail.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Old 12-16-2010, 11:52 PM   #7
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Loving me-- first I'm just so darn tickled that you weigh 140 lbs. YAY YOU!!!! YAY YOU!!!!!!

Gosh-- you have been such a dynamo. I stalled out long ago, and you have kept on chugging.

I don't really know if you should switch back to weekly weighing, or stick with daily. Can you compromise with yourself-- you'll continue to weigh daily until-- pick something, like you actually see 139 flicker, or you hit Jan 1 or something....

I don't know why we fixate some much on these goals, but obviously we do....

My advice-- KICK IN THE BUTT and then carry on. What you are doing is working and it is just so exciting to see you past your goal! I'm sure with all your working out you must have a lot of lean body mass-- eventually you're going to have to think about maintaining, but you may still shed more pounds-- just give it time.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill
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