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Old 11-11-2002, 10:55 AM   #1
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Default #174 - Back to Basics

I'm really sorry that I've been MIA for the past few weeks. I've been feeling overwhelmed by my family, school and work. I've let so many things slide because I just feel like I can't get anything done so I won't do anything. Well in a few weeks I'll be all done with the school courses I took on and I'm rethinking what I was planning on doing next semester with school. I started working on my nursing degree by distance education and I might just drop it until the baby is older. My dh is just not being as supportive as he could be. Yet of course I have to be supportive of all his activities outside of home and work.

Okay...enough of that. Drake is an angel as always. He is absolutely the light of my life and some days my reason for living. I'll come home and give him his bath and put him to bed and it is the best part of the day.

So right now I need to get back to the basics. Water, exercise and food journalling. These are the 3 keys to me losing weight and when I was practicing them on a daily basis I was losing. I'm setting a modest goal for the end of the year. I didn't even come close with my Halloween goal and I'd like to end the year on a positive note. Most definately I don't want to gain any weight during the upcoming holiday season.

How is everyone doing? Hope things are okay out there. I'll try and be a little better about checking in more regularly as it does help to motivate me a lot. Take care all.
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Old 11-11-2002, 11:12 AM   #2
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Jen, I was wondering where you were! I'm glad that you have this newfound motivation in getting back to the basics.
I know how you feel about your DH not being as supportive as he could be. My DH and I are both in school, and it always seem as if I am working around his work/school schedule for everything (although I am the one without any degree, and he is working on this third.) But, I am determined and only have four classes left! So, don't give up on a dream. If there is a will, there is a way.
I'm doing pretty good again. I am actually jumping back on plan for the first time in a month. Of course, I am going to be back at my mom's for two weeks for Thanksgiving, so I'll probably be off plan again, but this time I won't be coming home to Halloween candy and party food.
Hope everyone else is doing good!
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Old 11-11-2002, 12:02 PM   #3
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Jen, my mom went to nursing school when she had kids and had a very unsupportive husband. It's hard! But don't give up. If you can take just a course at a time, you'll be farther ahead when you decided to go back full force AND you won't be discouraged by the idea of starting school all over.

I start school in January. Luckily, my boyfriend is very supportive. Sadly, I can only afford to take one course this semester but hopefully I'm be up to full-time soon!

I've been so OP lately, it's scary. I'm so determined to lose weight this time, I just hope that determination doesn't just run away. The only time I really go off plane is on the weekends. I eat out more, etc. It's frustrating because I gain about 2 lbs a weekend. I usually lose it during the week but it makes me feel like crap. But I still want my weekends to be fun.
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Old 11-11-2002, 05:01 PM   #4
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Hello all,

I am still here. I am having a very bad day at work here. I found out yesterday morning from a friend where my dear soon to be ex-husband is living. He has been living in a small town about 40 or 50 miles away. Did not even have the decency to call me or the kids. Well he was to call yesterday and he never did. What a chicken. It took everything I had to not get in the car and drive down there to see him but that would be bad since he is living with the girl that came down here for him. GRRRR he keeps telling people it's not my fault. Well I am still blaming myself big time. I just sat around all day yesterday for nothing. I hate that. I should not put my life on hold for him any more. I don't know how I am doing in the weight lose effort but I have been eating and drinking my water. But exercise is null and void right now. I just can't get motivated to do anything. Well I must get back to work. I only have a half hour of work left but I should get something accomplished today. Take care may post more later.
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Old 11-12-2002, 10:23 AM   #5
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Hey Tamara -
you are in my thoughts and my prayers during this horrible time. If you have to take a break from the weight thing right now - that's completely understandable. What a JERK he is - absolutely unbelieveable. I hope if you get divorced you nail him to the wall for child support and alimony!!

I'm doing good this week - I even exercised yesterday! YAY! So I hope eventually I'll see results. I'm yo-yoing on the scale through the week - very frustrating. But I can do it. So can you!
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Old 11-12-2002, 04:34 PM   #6
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Happy It's Not Monday Anymore Day!

LOL

Kayla..LISTEN to me. Tomorrow is going to be one of the best OP days you have ever had. You are going to drink your water, follow your plan and move that booty of yours. Your going to go to sleep tomorrow night and feel how darn good it feels. And your going to think about how far you have come. And then..you will be inspired to do it again the next day. Consider me as your personal cheerleader!!!!!

Jen..Here is my opinion..you have ALOT on your plate right now. I think maybe putting off school, for just a little bit, may be a good idea. You don't want to get burnt out. You're job isn't exactly stress free. You are having some marital issues, and basically raising your son with little support. Don't add to it right now. Don't take more than you can handle. If you look at school like "me" time..then that's one thing. But you don't want the added stress and get burnt out. Just something to think about...

Beth Anne, Jessica & Sandi...WOOOHOOO for having some good ole OP days!!!

Icewoman..Oh..I can hear the pain in your post. Have you gotten into some kinf of therapy or counseling? If not, please do. *hugs*

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Old 11-13-2002, 12:40 AM   #7
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I hope things work out soon Tamara, it's so hard but your better off not chasing him. One day he'll regret what he's done. They think the grass is greener but really it's just a dirty shade of brown.
Ive been going **** to leather to lose some more weight lately, it's going well, I had a week or so of just floating along and the loss's slowed so Im back hard at it again this week. I so want this that going off track just isnt an option, Ive come to far to throw it all away.
Good to hear everyone is getting motivated again. Keep up the good work girls

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Old 11-13-2002, 09:30 AM   #8
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Happy Hump Day! A wet, dark and dreary day here in New York. BUT for some odd and strange reason, I woke up feeling good today. I even took the time out to pick something "pretty" to work today. Got knee boots on, with a skirt and a nice shirt. I am lookin pretty good. I had a run in last night with an ice cream sundae. Little emotional last night, so after laundry, me and sundae sat on my couch and watched some TV. It didn't haunt me this morning. I was pretty OP before that, so it wasn't a complete blow out.

Kitty...You'll be melting again in no time!!!

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Old 11-13-2002, 11:03 AM   #9
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I am in a water retention slump. I have this mysterious 3 pounds of water sloshing around and making me all puffy and grumpy and it's not PMS time. It's been around about 5 days and I'm REALLY annoyed about it!

I got back on the pill about two weeks ago, so I'm thinking maybe this is related.

Argh!

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Old 11-13-2002, 01:39 PM   #10
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Angi - I ate three pickles once and the water stayed around for like a WEEK! I knew it was just the sodium but c'mon, give me a break!

Work is driving me crazy today! I work with a woman who doesn't pull her own weight and my boss doesn't trust her enough to make her pull her own weight. So, instead of firing her (!!!) they make ME do all her work. Well, of course, I won't stand for that but it's making the office environment kinda stressful. Which makes me want to shove stuff into my mouth. See, I'm not the kind of girl that gets stressed. Stress rolls off me. On the rare occasion where I do get stressed, I'm like, "what the heck is that! How do I handle it?!?!"

Anyway.... everything else is going great. I'm doing my walking every weekday morning as planned. Even though I REALLY REALLY hate mornings and getting up early, there's a certain satisfaction of having my exercise done before I go to work. I don't have to worrry about it.
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Old 11-13-2002, 02:46 PM   #11
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Jessica, hang in there, I'm sure that the extra work that you are doing is being noticed. It is great that you are not letting this get you down and you're still exercising. That is a great stress reducer.
Jennifer, I don't think that your date with Sundae was a bad thing, as long as you too don't get too cozy! You are doing great lately, don't give up!

I'm having a good week, I guess. I haven't been that far off plan and I am getting close to my Thanksgiving goal. I am starting to have some problems at home, nothing big, just that $ is tight and the DH just doesn't get it. I am getting ready for another trip back to my hometown. I'm really looking forward to it, but have just found out that my inlaws are going to be in town the same week, and I really don't want to spend the whole time with them, after all, I am going to see MY parents. But I know that my DH cannot, or will not stand up to his parents, so I have a feeling that I'll be seeing them more than my own. UGGH. I guess it would be different if my MIL didn't make me feel like I'm 1. not good enough for her son 2. not a very good mother and 3. not a very nice person. I know that she doesn't mean too, but she sure does it. I just can't stand being around them for more than a couple of days at a time. Oh well, enough complaining.
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Old 11-13-2002, 03:41 PM   #12
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Thanks for the cheerleading, Jennifer I actually did have a OP day yesterday, and so far, so good today. I'm having a hard time getting back on track & am constantly fighting the urge to eat completely unhealthy, but I am doing it & it feels good!

Tamara - Your in my thoughts. I'm sure this has to be so stressful for you, but you said it best: "I should not put my life on hold for him anymore." You can't control his actions, his words, or anything else about him, but you can take care of yourself. {{{hugs}}}

Jen - I hope your are finding a little relief from the stress. Going back to school when you have a career & family is hard, I know, but if it is something you want bad enough, you find a way to do it. I'll graduate with my B.S. in June, & it's been tough, but worth it. When the time is right, it all seems to work itself out, you know.

Jessica - it stinks to work with someone who doesn't do their share, but hopefully your bosses will recognize all of your extra work. If they don't notice on their own, TELL THEM! You deserve the recognition! And way to go on being so OP!

Denise - congratulations on being so close to your Turkey Day goal! I hope things will work out with visiting your parents & your in-laws visiting. MIL's can be quite a headache can't they!

Angi - I'm sure the water weight has something to do with the pill & all the hormonal changes it brings. I hope it comes off soon!

Beth Anne - way to go for doing so well this week! Keep it up!

Kitty - keep up that attitude!!!

Things are going okay here. Dh is doing pretty good. I visited him last night & went to an Al-anon meeting as well. Work & school are keeping me busy, plus, we're having a surprise 50th birthday party for my mom this Saturday (& God forbid my brothers actually do something to help out, but that's a whooole nother kettle of fish! ). I am counting down the days 'til Thanksgiving so I can have a true rest!!!

Take care of yourselves everyone!!!
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Old 11-13-2002, 10:57 PM   #13
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Jen - I'm going to dissent Jenniffer's opinion....DON'T stop going to school! If you do, you're never going to finish. Ten years are going to go by and you are still not going to have a degree in your hand, waiting for that "someday" when the moon and stars are in perfect alignment.

When I finally went back to school to finish my degree, it was tough. I worked 20 hours a week, plus drove 140 miles round trip to and from school three days a week. I carried 15-18 units the whole time. At one point, we ran into serious financial problems and had the water and the electricity cut off the same week. We had to borrow money from a friend to get them turned back on, and we were buying bread and milk at Exxon with our gas card. I knew, though, that if I quit, I would never finish. I would never reach that dream.

Besides, not to jinx anything, but things don't seem to be good between you and your DH. If you should end up splitting, you're going to need to have a good job to support you and that sweet baby. A degree will make all the difference in the world.

Okay....getting down off my
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Old 11-14-2002, 05:26 PM   #14
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Hello all,

I had a good week for weight lose. I lost 4.5 in 2 weeks. I told everyone it was in the hair. I got a good 6-7 inches cut off. It's a nice change. I saw the dead beat yesterday. He called Tuesday night and asked to meet with me on Wednesday at noon. So I took half the day off from work and went to see him. He didn't show. I was so mad at him. I knew he fell asleep and could not get up. So I went home and to bed. Then at 4:00 in the afternoon he called and was down the street. He wanted to get his stuff. I told him fine come and get it. Then he dropped another bomb shell on me. He brought her with him. So I bit the bullet and met her. That was interesting. She was heavier than me and kind of pretty. She's 34 years old not to bad since he is 28. And right as he was getting ready to leave he decided to drop one more thing on me. He was taking Carlie his daughter with him. I didn't have any rights to her but I have been her mother for 7 years now. I cried alot and had to have my mother bring her over. My son got to see his daddy at least also. But now he is suffering from the loss of 2 sisters. One which he will see very little of. But we are survivors and we will survive. I saw the lawyer today and if he doesn't contest anything we will be divorced by month end or the beginning of the month. He doesn't have the money for a lawyer so I think he will agree with everything. I was very lenient and let him off of alot of things. He won't pay alimony. He's going to have a hard enough time paying the child support for the kids right now. He get all of his 401 K plan. He will have to pay every other month on the loan which will be interesting for both of us. Everything he has is his and everything I have is mine. He is really getting off easy. I think I want it over quick. I will give him every other weekend for now nothing in the summer. Well I suppose now that I rambled on about this.

Just to let you all know I am really doing good. I think since I have seen him I have been able to get alot of my anger out. He will be coming over tomorrow night to spend a couple hours with the kids. I hope it doesn't snow to much that he won't be able to make it in. Well I will be talking to you all later.

Keep up all the good work you losers and keep trying to the gainers. It will be gone someday.
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Old 11-14-2002, 07:06 PM   #15
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Wow Tamara, that's so hard! I hope it is over quickly for you and you start rebuilding your life. Man, I can't believe he brought her over. You're a better woman than I. I would have made her stand out in the cold. Maybe after I turned the sprinklers on.

Keep strong baby and listen to Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" a lot. (I swear it is the best breakup medicine!).

I saw this on Amazon and thought it was such an excellent idea (why can't a make a bizillion dollars thinking of this stuff):
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...381011-4585707

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