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Coping when it's not working? Advice?

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Old 10-19-2010, 11:46 PM   #1
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Default Coping when it's not working? Advice?

Ok, so I've been at this whole thing for 16 months, and I really thought I had the hang of it, and now all of a sudden I realize I don't.

Two weeks ago, I flat out stopped exercising. For the past two months, I've had a harder time exercising than before because I moved away from my gym and lost my routine, and it has been hard for me to figure out how to fit in my workouts with my new and vastly more complicated life. But I was still running several times a week, and then I just STOPPED.

Also, I've been having food troubles-- for the first time in forever. I've been close to 100% on plan for ages, but recently, I've been feeling that cravy-nibbly feeling. I thought I had that completely under control. Now, I'm still sticking to my plan and I'm not going crazy and eating off plan foods-- I'm just getting sloppy on stuff like portion sizes, or an extra handful of nuts, or an extra piece of fruit.

So, no exercise, no progress on the scale, holding on to my plan by my claws. and in fact, I seemed to have gained a couple of pounds in the last few days...

Today-- I joined the gym that is in my workplace (well, not near, but adjacent) I really miss my old gym and I think this will really help me-- although it will be tricky to figure out how to fit it in to my day. But I'm going to MAKE it happen. I love exercise and am frustrated that I got off track.

Second-- the minute I get a chance I'm going to buy a digital food scale and commit to rigorously weighing my food to make sure that my calorie counts are really accurate-- I have an analog scale, but it's not that precise.

Third-- I try to remind myself every day that a year ago I would have been ecstatic to be under 190 lbs, and even if I never lose another pound, this is way better than the place I lived in before.

I'm better at this than I used to be. I can get a little off track and still log my calories and still jump back on plan, and still weigh daily. I can stick to my go-to foods and not be tempted by the stuff that I know I am not capable of eating ever (like sweets and baked goods). I can work through this without feeling like this is the beginning of the end and that I'm bound to end up back where I started....

Not sure if I need advice or just hugs, but I definitely could not do this without you all. Living without the constant gratification of smaller sizes and dropping weight is much harder than I thought it would be.
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Old 10-20-2010, 12:00 AM   #2
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i've had a similar problem with exercise and not eating quite like i should.
i had some dvd's i was soo excited to buy. but when i talked about it with dh, i realized 2 things. i really can't afford to get the ones i wanted. i didn't want just 1 or 2. More importantly, i didn't need to buy it. there are lots of other resources free or very cheap. i can try to push myself doing what i can, using equip. we already have, without spending tons of money.

Just as you don't HAVE to join a gym. you could walk on your lunch break or a million other things.

i haven't quite gotten over my hang up yet, but i joined the biggest loser challenge. i'm trying out calorie counting. in time i'll feel motivated again.
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Old 10-20-2010, 01:36 AM   #3
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Ubergirl, not only are you an inspiration to me, but reading about what has been happening with you has really made me realize that you're just like me and if you can do so much then I can do it too. Sometimes, when I read posts of other wonderful members here, they seem to be so wired into this whole OP thing that I wonder if I could just have one of their brains transplanted into my body! Of course I'm kidding and I'm sure most of us have struggles and bumps in the road, but just read your post today has made me really see that I can reach my goals....things have been rough for a bit because my scale hasn't budged for some unknown reason and I'm not going to meet my goal for the month....however.....it's ok. I need to just keep doing what has worked in the past. Same for you. I don't have advice. I just think that you clearly know what it takes and you just need to recommit and get back on track....which you are obviously doing. So if it's hugs you need, then it's hugs you shall get!
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Old 10-20-2010, 02:33 AM   #4
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Uber, the short answer is that I think all the decisions you've taken are spot on!

I think you're showing us
a lesson in how this weightloss+maintenance thing is a life-long process.
that when things come adrift, the only answer is to rigidly re-focus.
a great example of sustained weightloss - 105lbs in 16 months is a maz ing.

I was really struck by your saying that it is so much harder to do this when scale movements and new clothes sizes aren't regular occurences any more. There's So much headstuff in this process!
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Old 10-20-2010, 03:15 AM   #5
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Uber, first of all
I so know where you are coming from with this, especially the bit about finding it so much harder when the scale and clothes sizes aren't changing. Although my weight loss has slowed right down I'm still exercising like a demon and even having a weekly PT session now to try to tone up some of the big problem areas a little. People are still commenting all the time and saying I must have lost more weight and complimenting me, but I have this feeling of impending dread that these compliments are going to stop soon and then where will I be? Although I hated them to start with, now they keep me going when I myself can't see any difference on the scale or in my shape and I'm actually scared of how I'll carry on when they stop and people get used to me just being "normal". I suppose I should be grateful that I can actually imagine maintenance now, whereas 15 months ago it was an impossible dream.
But I agree with the others that what you have done so far is amazing and you inspired me and still do for hanging on in there. The decisions you have made about your immediate plan for the future are great I think and am sure will help you recommit, especially the gym.
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Old 10-20-2010, 05:44 AM   #6
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Ubergirl - sorry it's been more difficult of late. I think your plans sound spot on. I am sending you a hug for your struggles of late.

It's easy for us to slip into our old habits - even when they have been gone for quite a while. I sometimes think of it as being like a comfy old soft tee shirt....easy to just slip into it...like old habits.

I think we all try to get rid of that teeshirt...if you know what I mean.

Carry on with your plans. Plan for the future, but take it a day at a time.
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Old 10-20-2010, 08:27 AM   #7
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Advice? Heed your own. It's right on the money. I think you've methodically figured out what your issues are and how you can solve them. And that is big. We're going to have to keep on doing this throughout the years, as our situations and circumstances change.

There are going to be harder times and easier times and harder times and easier times. I'm pretty certain of this. It is so important to get through those harder times any way that you can, always keeping our eyes on the prize and remaining focused on what is most important - our health.

I can't wait for that post that I know is coming - you are back in the groove, all delighted with your plan and yourself and back to your losing ways.
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Old 10-20-2010, 08:48 AM   #8
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Uber, I don't have any advice for you - you've given yourself your own best input in your post. You know what you have to do, now do it. You know you can - you've done it up to this point and accomplished what many people only dream of. Know that you're not alone and I think most, if not all, of the people who have similar weight-loss journeys have experienced what you are going through. I think you've hit a mental wall but walls can be broken down or climbed over. You can do it.
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Old 10-20-2010, 09:06 AM   #9
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I posted this on the other thread . . . but you know what you need to do. I hope to read tonight that you made it into the gym today! Even if it was only 10 minutes, that you went. It'll do your body good. It'll do your head good.
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Old 10-20-2010, 09:19 AM   #10
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Oh, how I know that feeling, when one realizes one is wavering & losing one's laser-like focus. Keeping up that level of intensity for a long time can be wearying. But I think the routine & the good habits can save us, even when we're not full of our original, burning zeal.

I'm still deciding on the metaphor that applies here. I've thought that when we're in maintenance, it's like having another part-time job. But sometimes I think maybe it's like engaging in a long-term relationship. After the infatuation burns off, there has to be something there to wear well in the long term. There have to be moments of recommitting & rethinking the relationship, a constant recalibration based on changes in one's life.

That's what I think you're doing here. Recalibrating. (When I write that, I hear the electronic recorded voice on my GPS saying, "Recalculating," when I haven't turned where I was supposed to on the planned route, and now another route to the same place has to be worked out.)
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Old 10-20-2010, 09:23 AM   #11
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Sorry. twas' a duplicate post some how...

Last edited by rockinrobin : 10-20-2010 at 09:38 AM. Reason: duplicate post
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Old 10-20-2010, 09:29 AM   #12
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You have it figured out. You wouldn't have lost so much otherwise.

I'm miles from maintenance, so I don't have any input at all. Just understand how much it matters to so many of us when we were just starting. If you, Lori Bell, Robin, and several other names who escape me at the moment can lose that much, there's hope for the rest of us.

It's even more inspirational to know that you're struggling, have figured out what to do, and are going to be fine. That lets the rest of us know we're going to be okay too.
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Old 10-20-2010, 09:38 AM   #13
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Uber,

Like others have said, I think that you do have it figured out. You know what to do and the issue is making yourself do it. I have gone through similar times and I think that it is the nature of life. Everything in life has cycles. We have the gung ho stage where we are losing weight rapidly, or at least regularly, everything is on track and we are totally OP and exercising like mad men. Then it swings to the other stage where we struggle and have to make ourselves do the things that we know we need to do.

Stages like these is why we keep saying that commitment is more important than motivation. Commitment can keep you going in the right direction.

Hang in there. You have done so great! It will turn around again or, more accurately, you will make it turn around!!
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Old 10-20-2010, 09:43 AM   #14
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I have had to do a little "recalibrating" myself lately. It is a really uncomfortable feeling when you know that you are headed in the wrong direction, and you feel like you are about to get lost. Thankfully we DO have internal breaks if we choose to use them.

For me it's my "part time" job that went from 5-6 days a month to 4-5 days a week. I just haven't had the time I once had to slice and dice and plan out great veggie filled menu's. I started doing what I tell other people not to do. Like rely on more prepared stuff, and eating an extra yogurt instead of a HUGE pile of veggies. You know, not getting enough volume bang for my calorie buck. It's not a good feeling.

Sunday after church I spent the entire day chopping, slicing, dicing, roasting, and stir frying. I also made several quart size baggies of fresh washed chopped veggies. This week, I feel so much back in the game. My bowels are working much better again, and I feel like I have more energy and just better health overall. It takes a lot of time and commitment to stick to it. Just slicing and dicing alone takes hours a week, but if you just force yourself to do it, like forcing yourself to excercise is a great accomplishment.

Uber, you just gotta push through this one. Don't settle for "better". You have it in you to be the best. Finish what you started. You are already working to keep off the weight, you might as well work to take off the remaining 10. You could be at goal by Christmas if you really work it.
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Old 10-20-2010, 09:51 AM   #15
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Boy are you right about it getting just a bit harder when the clothes stop getting smaller and the scale stops moving! I have been trying on the same pair of jeans for the past three months. Three months ago I got into them but couldn't "wear" them because of the muffin top. I try them on every Friday hoping that will be the day I can wear them in public. The clothes just aren't getting smaller like they used to.

My suggestion? I hate how this sounds. But I suggest being happy where you are, if you can. That's not to say "stop". I mean to maybe find true peace with where you are, and yet keep going. That's where I am right now. I marvel at the changes I've made every morning, turning the self-talk to all positives, with the exception of my belly. I can't seem to self-talk myself into liking my belly. But I am very happy with the rest of me, and yet I continue. My reward has shifted more to a knowledge every day that I can do so many more things than I could before.

I'm still hoping to get these last 25 pounds off. That sounds like so much! It sounds like it should be no problem, right? That's where my mental game goes awry. But they'll come off if I just keep plugging away. In the meantime, I have a lifetime ahead of me of eating clean and exercising. So I guess I've slipped into maintenance mode while trying to create a calorie deficit too.
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