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Old 10-04-2010, 04:59 PM   #1
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Default the struggle is never over

I didn't have a great weekend. In fact, it was pretty miserable. I'm really envious of all the people who seem to have this entire thing mastered and keep on program day after day after day. I seem to go along nicely for long stretches of time and then something happens that tosses a wrench into things.

While I know what triggered this weekend, I haven't figured out exactly how to stop it from happening again. I know all the defense mechanisms and strategies, but sometimes you just talk yourself past them all. I felt like I was so close to doing the right things but once I fell short of that all **** broke lose. There is a fine line between good decisions and bad decisions.

I'm disappointed in myself. But I'm back now and all I can do is continue on.
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Old 10-04-2010, 05:15 PM   #2
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Matt - dust yourself off and keep going. Many people have times like you had over the weekend. The key is to draw the line in the sand, so to speak, and plan and plan some more. One off weekend won't 'ruin' your efforts in the long run. Hop back on your plan and carry on! You CAN do it.

I know you feel terrible. We all have felt this way. You aren't bad...just did something that wasn't helpful to your goal. Yes, Carry on.
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Old 10-04-2010, 05:28 PM   #3
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If only there were a way to remember how awful we feel when this happens. I'm sure if we were able to recall the disappointment and regret it would make it easier to avoid the next time.

I agree with Beverly Joy, you just have to dust yourself off and move on to better choices; no point in lingering on what's already done.
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Old 10-04-2010, 05:30 PM   #4
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I agreew ith BeverlyJoy... and also, no matter what it seems like - no one is ever "perfect" all the time. What matters is that you get right back on track. One weekend of craptastic eating isn't going to undo the amazing accomplishment you have made!
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Old 10-04-2010, 05:39 PM   #5
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It is frustrating when you think you will have it made....then something happens that we revert to our old habits. This happens to everyone. It is what we do most of the time that counts. We are not robots and hopefully have the rest of our lives to improve. All any of us can do is to take it one day at a time.
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Old 10-04-2010, 05:43 PM   #6
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It gets better matt_H. It gets easier. It really does. In time, with much practice, it gets to be less of a struggle.

I truly hope that you can be a little compassionate towards yourself. In the broader scheme of things, you are doing an *amazing* job, matt_H! You inspire me, in fact

And to expect perfection from yourself. To expect that after only x amount of time there will be no struggle is an unmeetable expectation to set for yourself!

Each year that passes, I learn more, I am kinder to myself, and the struggle itself lessens. At about 10 years since I had my big loss - it is a pretty light "struggle".

I believe that you will find the same to be true for yourself.
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Old 10-04-2010, 05:44 PM   #7
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Matt- What's done is done... but I have thought the same thing. It is like alcoholics falling off the wagon. Something triggers it and I spiral out of control. But- getting back on track ALREADY is great. It usually takes me weeks or months and oops there were a couple of years mixed in there too!

WOW! YOu have done so much. Thank you for the inspiration and admitting this does happen!

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Old 10-04-2010, 05:46 PM   #8
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Last weekend I had a hard weekend...not food wise, but community/church/family commitment wise. I was complaining to a lady friend of mine that I just needed to learn the word "NO"...because it seems that no matter what I get roped into, someone, (myself included) finds fault in how I do it.

She very bluntly told me, without any sympathy..."The only people who don't make mistakes are those who do nothing." It hit me like a ton of bricks. It is so true, and so simple. We can sit on our couches and look at the walls and we'd be pretty good at doing nothing. But we are willing to take chances, and willing to put it on the line...so sometimes we screw up. You just gotta keep trying.
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Old 10-04-2010, 05:49 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matt_H View Post
But I'm back now and all I can do is continue on.
Oh Matt - I can hear the despondency in your post. And I can relate to the feelings of envy toward those who are on plan 99% of the time. But you've done so well and come so far, and I'm sure you've learned a LOT along the way. You really said it all in the quoted part of your post above. Keep on keepin' on.
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I have never, ever, not even one time regretted not eating something. Never. Not once. Turns out telling yourself no feels marvelous. No deprivation passing up on *those foods.* The deprivation is EATING them and remaining overweight. You've got to raise your standards; requiring more from yourself. Challenge yourself. Push yourself. Work past the discomfort. Every time you do it, it gets easier and easier - Rockinrobin
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Old 10-04-2010, 07:01 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beverlyjoy View Post
You aren't bad...just did something that wasn't helpful to your goal.
This in particular stuck out to me. You're too hard on yourself! You aren't a bad person because you had a difficult, off plan weekend. No one blames you! The hardest part about off plan moments like that is detoxing yourself the next few days in order to carry on. But you are so, so strong! You will power through!
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mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)






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Old 10-04-2010, 07:25 PM   #11
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I have learned that these *missteps* are actually PART of the journey. Not the most pleasant of parts, but parts never the less. I also know that they are not the end of the road for me (or you), I mean I am CERTAIN of it, but regardless - they just feel - awful.

The trick is, to make them smaller episodes and further and further apart from one another. But you gotta know, they will always be around.

Give yourself a couple of tight, on plan days and you will be feeling much better my friend.
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Old 10-04-2010, 08:24 PM   #12
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Hi Matt:

Everyone has made really good comments.

Don't forget the fantastic success you have had!!!!! Also keep in mind that you are a true inspiration to a lot of us.

I am on WW and they emphasize that we can't be perfect all of the time. It's getting back on track that's the most important thing.

Thanks for sharing your experience. It helps to know that others share my struggles.
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Last edited by doingmybest; 10-04-2010 at 08:25 PM.
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Old 10-04-2010, 09:48 PM   #13
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Thanks everyone for your kind words. I needed to admit to this past weekend so that I could start again.
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Height: 6'2
Starting weight/ Current low weight/"redline" weight
446.8/179.2/180.0
Total: 267.6 pounds.

I will do the Komen 60 mile walk for breast cancer again this year!!
Next goal is 175: Pounds from goal = 4.2.
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Old 10-04-2010, 10:50 PM   #14
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This thread is inspiring. I feel you, Matt. I had a rough week as well, and felt like I went off program compared to the last three weeks. I keep saying that I have to just keep going and get back on plan now that I know what I did wrong this week. I guess forgiving ourselves is a big step in moving on and getting back on track.
I was saying to myself earlier today, that this is hard. Losing a lot of weight is a struggle no doubt about that. After only four weeks on the WW program, I realized how hard it is to always follow the program and stay on track all the time. No one said life would be easy.

Thanks for starting this thread. It feels good to know others struggle and are in the same boat. You have come so far, so you know that you can do this.
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Old 10-04-2010, 11:08 PM   #15
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Geez, if everyone "here" was perfect, there would be no "here"! Then "where" would I go to whine! lol

Someone has this in the sig,

It doesn't matter how many times you fall down, what matters is how many times you get up!
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