Ok so at the end of last month I finished C25K and committed to trying to improve my 5k times. I did the program on the treadmill in this tiny workout room where I live (that also has a stair climber and a few weights). However, the treadmill is broken now (and yet to be fixed). The workout room was perfect because no one was ever there and I had absolute privacy.
Yes, I hate to work out in public because I feel people are like thinking "run, fat girl, run" whether or not they actually are or aren't. I'm really self-conscious about it. So I didn't run for a week and just did workout videos instead. I started to get nervous that I'd lose whatever running ability I'd gained (because it was HARD to get to the point I could actually run 5k- even slowly!), so I bit the bullet and this week went for the first time to the snazzy, shiny gym I'm a member of through work.
On Tuesday, I had the best work out day. I found out that I had shaved 4 minutes of my previous 5k best time, and that after running 5k, i no longer felt like dying- in fact, I could have done more. NSV, right? I meant to go yesterday (Wednesday) as well, but couldn't and so made sure to go today.
And now to the point of my post: So there I am today, finishing my 5k run (1 minute faster than on Tuesday, thank you very much!) and getting off the treadmill and then I'm stretching before I get on the elliptical when this gym lady, (I guess she's a personal trainer or something because she shows you how to use the machines etc) sidles up to me and says "I saw you running, at your weight, for safety reasons, a brief, brisk walk is better, and will give you as much of a calorie burn." Let me tell you, I have never fallen off a high so fast. I was just like thinking "no matter how fit I get, I'm always going to be the fat cow who should keep it low impact" and then I got to thinking "does she mean my safety, or the safety of the gym's equiptment, maybe she was worried for the treadmill."
Anyway, I said to her that actually I was running for the distance as in training for a race before she was like "oh ok," but you could totally tell she wasn't comfortable with the fat girl running (on her precious gym's treadmill). I've been kind of depressed since then. I know I should brush it off but I think I crashed so hard (from what she said) from the high of doing my 5k PB so far, that it's hard to pick myself back up. I still got on the elliptical afterwards but my heart was no longer in it so I only did 15ish minutes.
I really don't feel like going back. I really liked the gym otherwise, I did my own thing and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. But after today, I feel totally judged because I did nothing to make her think I was about to die or hurt myself, my HR at the end of the 5k (166) was within my target fat-burning zone (146-175), I was hardly bent over huffing and puffing, I even did a brisk walk afterwards; so basically it's that I'm obviously visibly fat and horribly unfit-looking to the point of why bother to do more than a 5-minute stroll. This is exactly why I hate working out in public!