This set of thoughts has been stewing for several days and I figured that since I'm sitting here on my duff doing very little I should take the time to articulate them. I'd appreciate thoughts and comments.
I've worked hard this year and had lost 86 pounds up to the first week or so of September. I work out, eat well, drink water, all of it. I've complained, celebrated, posted my little heart out here on 3FC...many of you understand that. At the end of the first week of September I was just 13 pounds from 100 lbs lost and BMI<25. That's not where I was planning to stop because I don't know yet what my "ideal" weight will be, but it was certainly the first and primary goal - healthy weight class.
Okay, so the last couple of weeks. I had emergency gall bladder surgery which, by itself, really isn't that big a deal. But then there were some serious complications that resulted in medevac and two more procedures. Needless to say, I ate virtually nothing for probably ten days. I'm home now, the dangers appear to be past, and I'm on the mend. I step on the scale once each day - not to see progress, really, but to keep track. I can't really be in a weight-loss mode right now.
I've dropped ten pounds, have reached nearly the 100 lb lost mark (96.2 lbs) and BMI<25 (currently 25.5). I'm sure I'll see 169 very soon as the swelling continues going down and the healing continues, and I find myself very angry indeed. This is NOT what I had in mind! How can I possibly celebrate reaching my primary weight-health goal? This has been a terrible experience and is a terrible way to lose weight, and I find that it completely robs me of satisfaction at being where I am. I worked HARD, dammit, and didn't plan to cross this particular goalpost on a gurney.
There's really not a lot I can do about it, though.